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My wife has been doing some lingerie modelling to earn a little extra cash, I was really surprised when she told me that her friend had been doing it and she would like to try it and make some extra cash. My wife is not the most adventurous when it comes to sex etc so although at first I found the idea quite erotic I’m not sure how I feel about it now she’s been doing it a while and has recently admitted that the poses she’s been doing lately have been a little bit “sexier” than just lingerie as they pay her more to be as she puts it, “A little more daring”. She swears no sex or other people are involved but some of the things she’s done she wouldn’t even consider if I asked her to do them. She insists she only poses solo wearing the things they give her to wear and posing the way they tell her and it’s just “posing”. I’m wondering what other husbands think. I was ok when I thought it was just lingerie but although she says it’s pretty much the same, I’m not sure I feel it is. Am I over reacting ?
What is the purpose of the shoots? Is it for catalogue, Victoria Secret type stuff or is it for soft porn sites? If she's dealing with Photographers who are just reselling the photos to whoever for whatever than your wife's pictures on now all over porn sites. If they are for specific legit commercial clients that might be OK but from the way you describe the posing getting sexier and sexier this does not sound legit, your wife could be in the porn industry without knowing it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #23 ·
This should’ve been the case from the very beginning. 0P, you should be seeing every photo taken of her. I don’t understand how this wasn’t already a requirement...
I have seen a lot of the photos and was ok with the things she was doing till very recently but where as I see them as different she sees them as just more of the same type of thing
 

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Go visit the shoot.... seems like an easy solution. If someone says you can’t go then you have your answer
I’m trying to wrap my head around how he hasn’t already done this or how it wasn’t a required prerequisite in the first place.

Of course, that’s after I tried to wrap my head around how it seemed like a good idea to allow it in the first place.
 

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It’s not so much “extras” as I feel that what she’s doing has changed and she feels it’s still what we agreed.

when she started they had her dress in lingerie outfits like for example a bra, panties, suspender belt and high heels. She’d pose in those in various poses then remove her bra and pose some more then at the end they’d have her pull her panties a bit to the side but as she was quite hairy I figured you couldn’t see much so it was ok and our sex life did improve a lot.

Then recently for example, they had her dress in just a nylon body stocking and high heels and do some poses in a big armchair, ending up with her with one leg over each arm which basically would leave everything exposed. They then offered her some extra cash to shave herself bare and then hold herself open a little in some more poses.

I feel this is different but she insists she is still just posing in lingerie and flashing her * a bit which I agreed to and found a bit of a thrill knowing she was doing that.
Ok so the real question is are you ok that your wife is doing porn still shoots. This is not "Modeling" it's for the purpose of the pics going on porn sites. I really hope you don't have kids. One person, a kids friend a parent of a new friend does a reverse photo lookup or something and the related images pop up now, your mom is a porn model.
 

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Apparently it’s more that “she’s not the most adventurous when it comes to sex“ - with YOU.

You have a serious issue here my friend and I would suggest it to things need to happen immediately.
1. She gives you full details on every single shoot she’s done (who, where, when, what, how, where are the pictures ended up, etc) and you do some research.
2. Tell her it stops now. You thought you’d be OK with it at first, but based on what you’ve learned, and further consideration, you’re not comfortable with your wife doing it. She is free to continue this risqué modeling, but not if she wants to continue to be your wife.

You need to take control of this immediately or it will end up eating you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
Ok so the real question is are you ok that your wife is doing porn still shoots. This is not "Modeling" it's for the purpose of the pics going on porn sites. I really hope you don't have kids. One person, a kids friend a parent of a new friend does a reverse photo lookup or something and the related images pop up now, your mom is a porn model.
I was ok when it seemed “soft” and it was just nice undies then topless then a quick flash when you couldn’t really see much. Now the outfits and poses seem much more exposing to me but she claims she’s still just going as far as we agreed and showing the same “bits” to the camera.

we don’t have kids so that’s not an issue
 

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Apparently it’s more that “she’s not the most adventurous when it comes to sex“ - with YOU.

Do you have a serious issue here my friend and I would suggest it to things need to happen immediately.
1. She gives you full details on every single shoot she’s done (who, where, when, what, how, where are the pictures ended up, etc) and you do some research.
2. Tell her it stops now. You thought you’d be OK with it at first, but based on what you’ve learned, and further consideration, you’re not comfortable with your wife doing it. She is free to continue this risqué modeling, but not if she wants to continue to be your wife.

You need to take control of this immediately or it will end up eating you.

1000% Agree!

He'll definitely need to do research because no way will she fess up to everything. There's a very good chance this has gone past just solo pics a long time ago

Listen OP, I know it sounds like everyone is coming down on you, it's not personal man. This is a HUGE problem and we are trying to get you to open your eyes up so that you don't get run over by that bus headed straight for you.
 

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It’s not so much “extras” as I feel that what she’s doing has changed and she feels it’s still what we agreed.

when she started they had her dress in lingerie outfits like for example a bra, panties, suspender belt and high heels. She’d pose in those in various poses then remove her bra and pose some more then at the end they’d have her pull her panties a bit to the side but as she was quite hairy I figured you couldn’t see much so it was ok and our sex life did improve a lot.

Then recently for example, they had her dress in just a nylon body stocking and high heels and do some poses in a big armchair, ending up with her with one leg over each arm which basically would leave everything exposed. They then offered her some extra cash to shave herself bare and then hold herself open a little in some more poses.

I feel this is different but she insists she is still just posing in lingerie and flashing her * a bit which I agreed to and found a bit of a thrill knowing she was doing that.
Dude, you’re out of your ****ing mind to have allowed this to get to this point.

The fact that she’s doing this at all, and then to be pushing the boundaries like this, indicates that she has little respect for you. The fact that she is apparently more sexually adventurous with strangers and a camera for money isn’t just red flags or smoke, it’s an active dumpster fire.

You have a much bigger problem in your relationship dynamic that you need to get a handle on, fast. But it starts with stopping this crap immediately.
 

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These, soft porn people have a way of grooming models slowly, soon you will find out a recent shoot included a simulated gangbang, a few months later it's not simulated anymore. At least thats these peoples goal. I don't think people in the porn industry have a great track record as far as having successful marriages so that is something to consider. If you're cool with it, be cool with it, but if you're not don't try to be the cool easy going husband because eventually you'll be a mess.
 

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It’s not so much “extras” as I feel that what she’s doing has changed and she feels it’s still what we agreed.

when she started they had her dress in lingerie outfits like for example a bra, panties, suspender belt and high heels. She’d pose in those in various poses then remove her bra and pose some more then at the end they’d have her pull her panties a bit to the side but as she was quite hairy I figured you couldn’t see much so it was ok and our sex life did improve a lot.

Then recently for example, they had her dress in just a nylon body stocking and high heels and do some poses in a big armchair, ending up with her with one leg over each arm which basically would leave everything exposed. They then offered her some extra cash to shave herself bare and then hold herself open a little in some more poses.

I feel this is different but she insists she is still just posing in lingerie and flashing her * a bit which I agreed to and found a bit of a thrill knowing she was doing that.
Hahaha! Ok so your wife is doing pornography and you were ok with it at a certain level.

Dude, you screwed up. Letting her get into pornography was a little less than brilliant.

I would never, for any reason, agree to my wife doing anything that yours has.

Better put the kabosh on this or you get what you deserve.
 

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I have seen a lot of the photos and was ok with the things she was doing till very recently but where as I see them as different she sees them as just more of the same type of thing
Doesn’t matter how she sees them, you’re not ok with it. (Also, she understands the difference perfectly well, she’s just rationalizing and gaslighting you).
 

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I was ok when it seemed “soft” and it was just nice undies then topless then a quick flash when you couldn’t really see much. Now the outfits and poses seem much more exposing to me but she claims she’s still just going as far as we agreed and showing the same “bits” to the camera.

we don’t have kids so that’s not an issue
LoL! You can't be this clueless. This gets out and careers and future kids are going to be affected.

Not to mention your marriage will implode because she is apparently on a slippery slope to showing her bits getting stretched by some man bits.🙄
 

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Get a bunch of her friends photos and put them all over you computer then let your wife find them. The when your wife has a hard time with it ask her what the big deal is.

Seriously though, your too nice.
 

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I think we're too late for this one. Too bad he didn't post the day she first mentioned it.
I’d say there’s hope, for now. It’s still plausible that nothing more has happened YET.

OP, we’re trying to help you and we are looking out for your best interests. You need to take action immediately. Like now. You need to put an immediate stop to the modeling. Then investigate how far it actually went.

* edited to add the following:
Didn’t you have a father or older brother or buddies who told you never ever marry a stripper? Same kind of thing here, never let your wife get involved in ANY kind of porn/sexual modeling.
 
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