Back Story:
I was raised in a particular faith and church, but I have since chosen to go a separate way from that faith and church. I do not agree with some of their practices or teachings and have chosen my own path. My parents, however, still hold to those beliefs, and while I respect their right to believe as they wish, they do have the ability to make one feel "wrong" for not believing the same way as them. Having grown up with it, it does not bother me too much; in fact, you could maybe say I am guilty of excusing the behaviour, a tendency I have tried to overcome. However, this has been a very problematic issue for my wife who was raised in a different faith.
Problem:
We have been married almost a year, and we do not have kids, nor or they in our immediate future. However, we are both planners and talk about it from time to time. Every time we seem to get in the same fight. Due to my wife's issues with my parent's religion and the way it makes her feel, she wants to set some boundaries up. While I wholeheartedly agree with that premise, one of the boundaries she wants to establish is that our kids cannot go to church with my parents.
I have some serious conflicting feelings regarding this. While I do not agree with what they practice, I do not feel comfortable telling my parents that they cannot take my kids to their church. I feel as if in essence I am doing to them exactly what they do to me (make me feel "wrong" for what I believe), and I am a firm believer in "the golden rule" so to speak.
Am I being unrealistic with this? Does anyone have any idea or experience dealing with an issue like this and do they have any advice? I would really appreciate any help, as I do not want this to be a constant issue (or a contributing factor in a decision to not have kids).
I was raised in a particular faith and church, but I have since chosen to go a separate way from that faith and church. I do not agree with some of their practices or teachings and have chosen my own path. My parents, however, still hold to those beliefs, and while I respect their right to believe as they wish, they do have the ability to make one feel "wrong" for not believing the same way as them. Having grown up with it, it does not bother me too much; in fact, you could maybe say I am guilty of excusing the behaviour, a tendency I have tried to overcome. However, this has been a very problematic issue for my wife who was raised in a different faith.
Problem:
We have been married almost a year, and we do not have kids, nor or they in our immediate future. However, we are both planners and talk about it from time to time. Every time we seem to get in the same fight. Due to my wife's issues with my parent's religion and the way it makes her feel, she wants to set some boundaries up. While I wholeheartedly agree with that premise, one of the boundaries she wants to establish is that our kids cannot go to church with my parents.
I have some serious conflicting feelings regarding this. While I do not agree with what they practice, I do not feel comfortable telling my parents that they cannot take my kids to their church. I feel as if in essence I am doing to them exactly what they do to me (make me feel "wrong" for what I believe), and I am a firm believer in "the golden rule" so to speak.
Am I being unrealistic with this? Does anyone have any idea or experience dealing with an issue like this and do they have any advice? I would really appreciate any help, as I do not want this to be a constant issue (or a contributing factor in a decision to not have kids).