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Discussion Starter #1
I love performing oral on my wife. It drives me and yet she doesn't want it anymore.

My saliva now makes her itch and burn down there. Even if there isn't a lot of slobbering going on.

She used to let me shave and or trim her. Just the area I enjoy not the whole thing.

I want to ravage her when she gets out of the shower all clean, and or join her in there. I don't ask for the favor back. I however it would be nice

She says she never likes going oral and never has however her techniques are like she has a lot of experience.

What is a man to do. I have suggested a dental dam etc... But nothing.

Her lack of willingness to trim (even though she promised I could keep her trimmed because I always wear a condom so there is no mess. No chance of pregnancy at all for her... Hysterectomy)

I am tired of holding up to my side of the bargain when she isn't willing to give me what I want.

What is a hungry husband to do?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
She wants and enjoys sex... Me pleasuring her orally used to be a frequent foreplay act.

Now she is paranoid from the saliva burning.. It doesn't happen all the time.

She can be very paranoid and stubborn lol
 

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I have never heard of that area burning due to saliva, although anything is possible I suppose. Maybe it burns or itches from you trimming? Itching and burning down there sounds like another issue. Has she been checked for a yeast infection? Or something else going on that may cause itch and burn?
 

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Trimming has been out of the picture for almost 2 years now. So that isn't the cause.

She has not been checked for an infection, there are no signs of any. She smells and tastes wonderful.

*sigh*
 

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Does the saliva burn immediately or on the subsequent hours or days?

Sorry, OP, I've got to get a little tantrum off my chest--
This thread, among others, makes me irritated that we can't all be matched up according to desires.
My SO and I are considering splitting up and I am NOT looking forward to trying to meet someone who is compatible with me in all these different ways. Not to mention, a case of possible (maybe unintentional) misrepresentation at the beginning of a relationship, only to be stuck deep in commitment with an unsuitable sex partner.
What? Is that asking too much? LOL
 

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The wearing a condom with your spouse when there is no risk of pregnancy has me thinking. On a call in radio show I heard it discussed whereby a married couple was using condoms. The medical expert felt it was a carry over of the guys obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) indicating a fear of physical intimacy (skin on skin).

Could it be your wife is overly fastidious about cleanliness? Doesn't want any saliva or semen touching her skin?
 

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Since she has had the hysterectomy, how long have you been wearing a condom?

She no longer cares for oral and you wear a condom. Either shes become a germaphobe suddenly, or shes got something going on she doesn't want you to get. Thats what is sounds like to me anyway.

Or next time you go to your doctor, tell them your wife doesn't care for oral because your saliva burns her and makes her itch. See if he can tell you what it could be.
 

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It sounds like your wife isn't attracted to you. Read (ugh) to find out how to become attractive to her.
Good luck.
Oh stop with this. Again. :p

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OP - Burn? What is up with that? Im going to go out on a limb and say thats not normal - could be an excuse...could be medical. Bottom line is sounds like she isnt enjoying it. Face it.

Of course - this this might make PHTlump crazy since Im challenging you on this... but you say you are holding up your end of the bargain... how so? By pleasuring yourself by giving her oral that she says she doesnt like and insisting she let you trim her?

Just curious how the relationship is outside of the bedroom before anyone could begin to suggest a 'solution' to the cunnilingus embargo.
 

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She could have Vaginitis. That can cause burning, itching etc. It can come from many things, such as condoms, soaps, perfumes, hot tubs, abrasions, and other irritants. Or just changes in the hormonal balance. She needs to be seen by a doctor about the itching and burning. Even if there are no signs, or smell, that does not mean she may not have something like that. Many women are allergic to condoms and things like that. If she doesn't want to get checked out just to rule out certain things, well then, that just sounds questionable to me.

Also, did she like you wearing a condom even before her hysterectomy? Or was that something she wanted you to do after that? Have you asked her if she doesn't like semen? Is it like a OCD thing maybe? If by chance semen burns her as well, that could maybe be fixed with changing some of the foods you eat.
 

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Oh stop with this. Again. :p
Oh why do you want to go around and around on men being attractive to women? :D

OP - Burn? What is up with that? Im going to go out on a limb and say thats not normal - could be an excuse...could be medical. Bottom line is sounds like she isnt enjoying it. Face it.
I agree. Unless the OP is chewing on batteries before sex, or on some serious medications himself, his saliva should not irritate his wife. Saliva is actually soothing for many skin irritations. So I'm guessing that his wife is just making up something to make him stop.

Of course - this this might make PHTlump crazy since Im challenging you on this... but you say you are holding up your end of the bargain... how so? By pleasuring yourself by giving her oral that she says she doesnt like and insisting she let you trim her?

Just curious how the relationship is outside of the bedroom before anyone could begin to suggest a 'solution' to the cunnilingus embargo.
It doesn't make me crazy. If this guy is beating his wife and having affairs, then I'm not surprised his wife doesn't want to please him sexually. But, I'm assuming he isn't. And, given that what he wants from his wife essentially involves her lying back and being pleasured, and she's still uninterested, maybe she's just not into him?

Of course, he could always try to ramp up the beta to 11 and see how that works for him.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I have no idea what is going on.

She had her hyst before we got married..long before. She doesn't like the leaking that occurs from me ejaculating inside of her (She doesn't like sperm period)

Outside the bedroom...Stressful. We work together, self employed.

The condom usage has only been the last 2 years. There has been maybe a dozen times during these years when I have not worn one.

We have been married 17 years.

She is going through menopause (has all the symptons, she doesn't recall if she had a full hyst or if they left her ovaries. Intercourse has been painful, so that doesn't occur often. Research says lots of foreplay, the pain could be because she isn't getting naturally wet. We do use lube to help with it, her natural wetness has gone away a lot in the last year. However, when I do perform oral she gets very aroused and wet to the point where lube is not needed the entire session)

The burning and itching only occurs after oral and is not ongoing. The trimming is for my enjoyment. I love the way she looks down there, I find it sexy and beautiful, perfect in every way. I like to see it and like to feel what I am kissing and rubbing myself against. Not hair. I don't want to shave her bald. I am talking about a 1/4" or 1/8" hair down there. Not the full mons pubis area.. Just the genital region.

I have always been very generous in our sex life. We have toys, have had a lot of fun and excitement. I have always made sure I take care of her needs.

We do kiss, cuddle and have an attraction to each other, unless she is just playing it.

I am at a loss of what to do. I want her this way. I am not saying I want this to be the main staple of our sex life, but back in it like it was before. I miss it to the point where it is the fantasy that pushes me over the edge when she is close to finishing and I am not.
 

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Lots of changes can occur when going through menopause. Even with itching and burning. Also, some women become more susceptible to infections due to hormonal changes in the body.

When was the last time she visited her gyno? Have you asked her to get checked out for any infections? As I mentioned earlier vaginitis/yeast infections are common. Also, yeast doesn't just live and thrive in the vagina. It can live in the mouth/tongue as well, due to bacteria.

If she is adament about it being from your saliva and that is the only time it happens, go see your doctor, and have them run tests on your saliva to see if you're carrying some form of irritant, that is making her itch and burn. Seriously if she wont get checked out, you should.

Also, has she mentioned if it burns or itches when water hits it from the shower/bath? When she uses soap does she burn or itch? Does she burn or itch when she gets wet from her ownself? Or just YOUR saliva?
 

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I have no idea what is going on.

She had her hyst before we got married..long before. She doesn't like the leaking that occurs from me ejaculating inside of her (She doesn't like sperm period)

Outside the bedroom...Stressful. We work together, self employed.

The condom usage has only been the last 2 years. There has been maybe a dozen times during these years when I have not worn one.

We have been married 17 years.

She is going through menopause (has all the symptons, she doesn't recall if she had a full hyst or if they left her ovaries. Intercourse has been painful, so that doesn't occur often. Research says lots of foreplay, the pain could be because she isn't getting naturally wet. We do use lube to help with it, her natural wetness has gone away a lot in the last year. However, when I do perform oral she gets very aroused and wet to the point where lube is not needed the entire session)

The burning and itching only occurs after oral and is not ongoing. The trimming is for my enjoyment. I love the way she looks down there, I find it sexy and beautiful, perfect in every way. I like to see it and like to feel what I am kissing and rubbing myself against. Not hair. I don't want to shave her bald. I am talking about a 1/4" or 1/8" hair down there. Not the full mons pubis area.. Just the genital region.

I have always been very generous in our sex life. We have toys, have had a lot of fun and excitement. I have always made sure I take care of her needs.

We do kiss, cuddle and have an attraction to each other, unless she is just playing it.

I am at a loss of what to do. I want her this way. I am not saying I want this to be the main staple of our sex life, but back in it like it was before. I miss it to the point where it is the fantasy that pushes me over the edge when she is close to finishing and I am not.
shes testing you and your failing. she has some crazy notion that sex isn't important so she can dictate when how and what.

if it were me I would put my foot down and tell her that you want a satisfying sexuall relationship with my wife and if she isn't on board with that then you want out! and mean it ! if you don't then accept that this is all its going to be and will continue to go down hill.
 

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When I first read this about itching and burning from saliva, I thought, that's odd never heard of such a thing. So out of curiosity I looked it up. Everything I can find on that, seems to relate to either infections such as yeast, or STDs.

This is what I would suggest. Get her to see her doctor and have tests run, if it comes back she has no issues going on such as yeast infections or STDs, then you get checked yourself by doing a simple saliva test. If yours comes back fine and no signs of anything, then maybe she is handing you an excuse and doesn't want to have oral sex anymore period. You can keep playing the guessing game or at least make a move to see what may or may not be going on.

Are you having sex with her first, then oral, or oral first?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
When I first read this about itching and burning from saliva, I thought, that's odd never heard of such a thing. So out of curiosity I looked it up. Everything I can find on that, seems to relate to either infections such as yeast, or STDs.

This is what I would suggest. Get her to see her doctor and have tests run, if it comes back she has no issues going on such as yeast infections or STDs, then you get checked yourself by doing a simple saliva test. If yours comes back fine and no signs of anything, then maybe she is handing you an excuse and doesn't want to have oral sex anymore period. You can keep playing the guessing game or at least make a move to see what may or may not be going on.

Are you having sex with her first, then oral, or oral first?
Oral first...Some times, oral, intercourse, more oral...

She has not been to a gyno for a while. I have been working on getting her a new doc (her old one stopped practicing) and getting her in also for menupause management.

In the mean time I will talk to my doctor (who is also leaving practice to become a medical admin)

I want to pleasure and at the same time make sure she is comfortable with my oral fixation.

shes testing you and your failing. she has some crazy notion that sex isn't important so she can dictate when how and what.
I seriously doubt this. Regular sex is ok, except for the pain it causes her...So I have no idea how this notion was even brought up.

I have basically stopped asking her for anything sexually in that area and its just been vanilla sex. I don't mind vanilla sex, it is satisfying to a point. However I still want more in the bedroom.

Thanks for your help... I will see what I can do from here.

*sigh*
 

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Ok, I have never seen this posted here before, and thought of doing it before...so...here goes...

INGROWN HAIRS POSSIBLY?! Ingrown hairs down there are uncomfortable, ugly, and if they get bad can cause scarring...and shaving irritates them...and not shaving covers up scaring.....

I believe ALOT of women who won't allow thier men to do oral is for this EXACT reason...

I have suffered with them before. I control them with proper diet, skin care and weight management, but I have heard that can get REALLY BAD, turn into boil like things that are VERY PAINFUL...

This is the only thing I can think of, outside of the infection thing....she doesn't want you to "see" what she has going on down there...

Just a guess, but I have NEVER seen the topic discussed here and I know women suffer from them :scratchhead:
 
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