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Just notice a Facebook MSG from one of her friends and she had said to them "he has had an affair so looking at options" he being me

Wtf???

I have most certainly not had an affair!

What's happening here is she looking for a way out? Our marriage had been rocky she is friendly a lot with a guy she sees a but at her social group

She has also said multiple guys have asked her out and she assured me she said no

Am I being setup as the scapegoat here???
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You already know the answer. You should confront her about it and work out what both of you want with the marriage. Go to counseling and fix the issues or give her the option of divorce. (After you expose her messages to everyone of course.)
 

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Dude, she's in at least one affair right now. She's already shaping the battlespace by putting the word out that you're the one who had an affair. She's over and done. You have a small chance of getting her back, if you want to and can follow counter intuitive instructions. But she's definitely spreading them for someone else. What are your preferences? Divorce or reconciliation?

Oh, and don't confront her with the fact that you know about this, no matter what you do. You have to act like a mature adult who knows how to wait patiently to act at the appropriate time. This is like war, dig?
 

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Toffer gave you the straight scoop on your other thread and even gave you the rundown on how to conduct intel ops on your wife. Why did you choose to ignore that excellent advice?
 

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Just notice a Facebook MSG from one of her friends and she had said to them "he has had an affair so looking at options" he being me

Wtf???

I have most certainly not had an affair!
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Are you 100% sure she meant you and not someone else on her radar?
 

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If she does mean you, she is going by the "best defense is a good offense" strategy.

She's making you out to be the bad guy and this horrible person, so that everyone will say that she made the right decision to leave you.
 
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