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Discussion Starter #1
My wife and I were married over 8 years now with 3 beautiful kids. My wife is very attractive young looking woman in early 30s. She has full figure body with pretty smiles that attracts many male attention wherever she goes.

Just last month she told me that we need a break for each other to see we really love each other.... I was like what? but I was like whatever and did not think anything of it at the time but few weeks later I realized we have not made love in awhile and I try to but I got rejected, I ask why and she said "you remember we are taking a break" I try and try to seduce her but she did not open her legs to me that night. I even offered just to have oral to make her feel good but she rejected for the first time in our marriage.

I did get paranoid and check her phone record and her facebook that next day and found out she was having many hour long conversations, I called that number and found out it was a male.
Also on the facebook she was telling her some of her friend that she is seeing someone very young..

I confronted her and she said he is just friend and what in a world I'm gonna do with 22 years old!! I told her just let me know if she had or have an affair but she says that is not why we are not taking break. she just want to find out if we really love each other or we are together just because we have kids together. I believed her at the time but she changed her password for her phone and the facebook account.
I really want to believe her but in an other hand I feel like she is not letting me get in her pants because someone else is.....Plus all these problem I also have PE (premature ejaculation) problem and I was not able to please my wife in this past 5 years or so. She's been telling me to go get help but I ignored for all this time but I thing I'm going to get help now...but maybe its late now...

Still no sex for after few weeks. I'm a healthy male in mid 30s and I needed to masturbate alternate to my wife I needed to use something and I ended up using her used worn dirty thong for material for me to masturbate.. Sorry if you think I'm sick but
that was a only thing made me get going. So instead of my wife I was making love to her worn thong underwear.

Just recently, She went out with her girlfriend for night out and she came home after mid-night next day she took shower and she went to work, I felt horny and I was searching for the dirty thong of her but I could not find it anywhere......Did she came home with no pantie? I remember seen her wearing one when she was getting ready to go out.....

What is this mean? She left her thong some where????
Is she hiding it because she had sex with someone else?
She knows I use her thong to masturbate because she questioned me and I told her Yes and explained why.
 

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Your wifes new boy friend does not want your semin on his girlfriends panties so she is hiding them from you.

I suggest you confront her boyfriend and since you most likely bought your wife those panties you can do what ever you want with them.
 

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So when your wife says she wants a break from your marriage. Do not say whatever. Deal with it, right then and there.
 

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As a reminder, no hijacking threads with troll accusations. Report the post or ignore it. Also, multiple bans were initiated for insults and disrespectful comments that violate forum rules.
 

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Maybe she didn't come home wearing the panties at all. She knows what you do with it. Also if you did find it would you use it to masturbate with another mans semen in it????????
If all you said is true then you already know the reasons why she is cheating. (PE, panty fetish) She is not satisfied and found a younger man to make her happy. I also think your sex issue makes her not respect you and the marriage. Whatever you decide to do about your marriage, you also need to seek therapy for yourself in the process.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I'm planning to ask my wife to show me her phone so that I can go through her tex message and etc. to see if she is telling me truth. She keep saying she has nothing to hide from me but the same time she is tired of me asking about her young boyfriend and I just kept asking her if she had an affair or having one but she keeps denying. I even told her it's okay if she did or if she is we can work best for our family from that point. I just want the truth and if she can't show me her phone....that means she is a lire.
Do you think this is a good idea???
 

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It sounds to me, that you already know the truth. From your standpoint, I understand your need to have her tell you anyway.

In my case, I had to read her text messages and act like evevrything was fine. Its not easy, but the texts gave me insight to what was really going on. As mentioned on other threads, get a VAR for her car and possibly in the house where she takes her private calls.

You can try talking to her friends/family, however I was told if I did that I was an even bigger jerk than she thought. So if you are going to tell her family, don't inform her ahead of time.
 

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No - never tell her it is OK if she is having an affair.

BTW when a wife goes out with panties on for a night out and comes home without panties - then she did something that required the panties to come off and then she lost them in the confusion. So it looks like she is having a sexual affair with someone. Plus you say she told her friends that she was seeing a younger man. How much prove do you want that something is happening?

I have never heard one spouse say we need to take a break to decide if we still love each other without a third person involved somewhere.

Even if she opens up her contacts, she has had ample time to delete everything.

You need to install a keylogger on her computer so you can find out what she is doing.
 

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She keep saying she has nothing to hide from me but the same time she is tired of me asking about her young boyfriend and I just kept asking her if she had an affair or having one but she keeps denying.
Do you think this is a good idea???
If she had nothing to hide then she wouldn't have a password on her phone and she wouldn't have to hide her facebook password from you. Matter of fact if she has nothing to hide she wouldn't have changed the passwords after you confronted her.
I think your gut is right. Don't ignore it you will be sorry.
 

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I'm planning to ask my wife to show me her phone so that I can go through her tex message and etc. to see if she is telling me truth. She keep saying she has nothing to hide from me but the same time she is tired of me asking about her young boyfriend and I just kept asking her if she had an affair or having one but she keeps denying. I even told her it's okay if she did or if she is we can work best for our family from that point. I just want the truth and if she can't show me her phone....that means she is a lire.
Do you think this is a good idea???

Bad idea, wait for her to fall asleep then look at it. try to hack her password before you ask her to see her phone. She might fall asleep with out turning it off.

If you do have to ask her for the phone tell her to give you the phone and you will enter the password. Do not let her walk away.

If she does you then have your answer. be aware that she will try to delete the text before she gives it to you.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
so I ask for phone access but she denied. she said that's just stupid....whatever.

She is hiding something and we agree that we need to separate for awhile.

I suggest go see MC but she doesn't want it....

Told our oldest daughter what's going on between us and that was the hardest.....

This sucks...but I need to step up for my kids.

Funny thing is when she came home from work tonight, she brought home the missing thong from last night.... I don't get it but this is just too much me to worry about so I just let it go.
 

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You can get a semen test kit. Stop masturbating with her panties. Then test her panties for semen. If you aren't doing it, and it's there, it's not yours is it? You can then further get it DNA tested and prove it's not yours. If it's not yours, then you know. File for divorce pack her things and ask her where she'd like you to have it delivered.
 

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You can get a semen test kit. Stop masturbating with her panties. Then test her panties for semen. If you aren't doing it, and it's there, it's not yours is it? You can then further get it DNA tested and prove it's not yours. If it's not yours, then you know. File for divorce pack her things and ask her where she'd like you to have it delivered.
Sandc has given you a good plan. Are you going to man up and follow through?
 

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Look man, its time to file D. What good does it do you to separate so she can bring this guy to your house..
In fac, why would YOU let a cheater remove you from the home you paying for ?? If she wants a break, then she has unil the D is final to find out.
Asian you say, then you can afford a PI to catch her. Why you need to I can't see.
Any grown sane person can see what this is. So why are you pretending to NOT know. Do you really think she is going to admit she is a low down cheater ??
What I will never understand is why GROWN men play this denial game. 1 kid 19 kids, what good is a man without respect ??

She wants a break, then tell her to move out, for YOU will not have a woman living in YOUR house sleeping with another man, and NOTHING she say is going to convince you different.
Also start exposing her to family NOW, do not give her the chance to lie about your marriage.
 

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No woman would like to be replaced/challenged by her panty. You need to give her respect too.

But probably it is too late now. You don't need more evidence. Just separation.
 
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