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Her AP is going to dump her
Then She’ll be looking for a soft place to land. A lot like you will then say “I need to at least try to give a chance just to see”. She may become the woman of my dreams now (eye roll).

Repeats happen all the time bud. Better wake up to reality.

How‘d you like getting cheated on The first time? Think it’ll be better when she does it again?
 

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Discussion Starter #62
Then She’ll be looking for a soft place to land. A lot like you will then say “I need to at least try to give a chance just to see”. She may become the woman of my dreams now (eye roll).

Repeats happen all the time bud. Better wake up to reality.

How‘d you like getting cheated on The first time? Think it’ll be better when she does it again?
Well she thinks it’s going to be forever 🙄. He understands her and she’s never felt this way before 🙄. She moved out real quick once this all started. He’s “wonderful”
 

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Your wife is showing classic signs of buyer remorse. She got what she wanted but unfortunately it wasn’t what lover boy wanted.
There’s an old thread on tam by a poster called hantei, you should look for it and read it, it will give you an idea of what you’re probably going to be facing in the future. Your wife will try to reconcile and will definitely make the divorce as difficult as possible. Hantei is an example to all betrayed men on how to act during and after discovering his wife was cheating.
 

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Discussion Starter #64
Your wife is showing classic signs of buyer remorse. She got what she wanted but unfortunately it wasn’t what lover boy wanted.
There’s an old thread on tam by a poster called hantei, you should look for it and read it, it will give you an idea of what you’re probably going to be facing in the future. Your wife will try to reconcile and will definitely make the divorce as difficult as possible. Hantei is an example to all betrayed men on how to act during and after discovering his wife was cheating.
What signs are you talking about?
The two of them are still hot and heavy from what I understand
 

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That would be hilarious. She thinks that they are soulmates.
Soulmates huh? I’m vomiting a little... yeah, she’s a two-bit cheater doing another guy, and he’s acting like screwing a married woman is morally ok as long as he “feels bad about the situation”.
Then the “not the type of person to tell a woman to leave her marriage”????? Wtf?
It’s ok to screw her, just not ok to tell her to divorce? Omg the force is strong with this one. The force of cognitive dissonance going berserk while he tries to spin his horrid, obvious lack of character into something that makes him look like a “great guy”??????

He feels so bad about the situation??? Just not bad enough to go find a single woman to date. Yes, you posted some good quotes of his that show what an utter sleeze bucket this character really is.

“He feels so bad about the situation”. “They have so much in common”.
“He feels so bad about the situation”. “They have so much in common”.

Oh and he’s not the type of person to tell her to leave a marriage either 🙄. Her decision to leave was 100% her own (so she says)
You aren’t in the right frame of mind YET, but one day, I promise you, you will see what a gift your trashy wife is giving you, basically forcing you to divorce her, I’d give her what she wanted.
 

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What signs are you talking about?
The two of them are still hot and heavy from what I understand
Her telling her parents that she doesn’t hate you is a lot more significant than you think. You need to understand that what you’re seeing in her affair is not what she’s seeing. As far as she’s concerned she’s the heroine in a great romantic epic and she’s been forced to choose between her husband and the great love of her life. The fact that she’s cheating is an insignificant detail, its what people call being in the fog.
Lover boy is probably now getting the jitters because he doesn’t want anything permanent and your wife is starting to realize that she ****ed up big time. She obviously can’t come crawling back so she’s going to offer you the chance to back down and start romancing her again.
Don’t be an idiot!
 

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Discussion Starter #67 (Edited)
Her telling her parents that she doesn’t hate you is a lot more significant than you think. You need to understand that what you’re seeing in her affair is not what she’s seeing. As far as she’s concerned she’s the heroine in a great romantic epic and she’s been forced to choose between her husband and the great love of her life. The fact that she’s cheating is an insignificant detail, its what people call being in the fog.
Lover boy is probably now getting the jitters because he doesn’t want anything permanent and your wife is starting to realize that she ****ed up big time. She obviously can’t come crawling back so she’s going to offer you the chance to back down and start romancing her again.
Don’t be an idiot!
Ohhh I see. Well we have our first divorce hearing the week, so we will see how that goes. She herself told me that she doesn’t hate me a few weeks after this started. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Should be interesting times ahead lol
Oh and she said she would still do anything she could for me if I asked her to. 😏
 

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Ohhh I see. Well we have our first divorce hearing the week, so we will see how that goes. She herself told me that she doesn’t hate me a few weeks after this started. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Should be interesting times ahead lol
If you think that she’s not cooperating and trying to make things difficult you could always play along with her delusions. Explain to her that for your own self esteem you need to divorce but you could hint that a reconciliation could be on the cards in the future.
When you get your divorce you can then ghost her.
 

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Discussion Starter #69
If you think that she’s not cooperating and trying to make things difficult you could always play along with her delusions. Explain to her that for your own self esteem you need to divorce but you could hint that a reconciliation could be on the cards in the future.
When you get your divorce you can then ghost her.
For sure, before I would ever consider any reconciling the divorce would have to be done. I’ll see this week what she’s really looking for and if she’s gonna make it difficult or not.
 

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Ohhh I see. Well we have our first divorce hearing the week, so we will see how that goes. She herself told me that she doesn’t hate me a few weeks after this started. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Should be interesting times ahead lol
Oh and she said she would still do anything she could for me if I asked her to. 😏
And you should remind her that when he dumps her you will do nothing for for ever....in other words never come knock on my door.
 

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Oh this has all been quick. If all goes well this week, we will be divorced. Would have only been about 2.5 months since the start of this
This is key. As long as she is still in the "fog" of the affair (so the term goes), she'll be anxious to finish the divorce, too, so that she can be with lover-boy. Therefore, she'll be less likely to fight to the death over every detail like you see in some divorces. Use her "affair fog" to your advantage to expedite the divorce as fast as possible, before she changes her mind.

Once the divorce is finalized, you're in a win-win position. If she regrets her cheating, it would be too late to use a prolonged divorce fight to try to wear you down and keep you as "Plan B", the backup sucker in case her affair didn't work out. But even if her romance with Lover-Boy does work out for her (at least in the short term), and she rides off into the sunset with him, you've still divested yourself of a self-serving cheater. Either way, you have shed this parasite.
 

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Just remember this: You cannot get her signature on a divorce settlement fast enough. Every single second counts.

You’ve been given good advice to take advantage of her desire to get free to her soulmate in order to get a fair divorce.

I assure you, once the soulmate runs off and her security blanket is removed, she will take you for a ride. Every second counts.
 

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Discussion Starter #76
This is key. As long as she is still in the "fog" of the affair (so the term goes), she'll be anxious to finish the divorce, too, so that she can be with lover-boy. Therefore, she'll be less likely to fight to the death over every detail like you see in some divorces. Use her "affair fog" to your advantage to expedite the divorce as fast as possible, before she changes her mind.

Once the divorce is finalized, you're in a win-win position. If she regrets her cheating, it would be too late to use a prolonged divorce fight to try to wear you down and keep you as "Plan B", the backup sucker in case her affair didn't work out. But even if her romance with Lover-Boy does work out for her (at least in the short term), and she rides off into the sunset with him, you've still divested yourself of a self-serving cheater. Either way, you have shed this parasite.
That’s definitely what I am going for. That’s why I’m trying to get this done ASAP. I am really hoping it’s finalized this week
 

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Discussion Starter #77
Just remember this: You cannot get her signature on a divorce settlement fast enough. Every single second counts.

You’ve been given good advice to take advantage of her desire to get free to her soulmate in order to get a fair divorce.

I assure you, once the soulmate runs off and her security blanket is removed, she will take you for a ride. Every second counts.
Oh yeah. That’s why I’m pushing for this ASAP. I’m hoping it will be finalized this week. Lol we will see if she tries to come back
 

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No contact is your best friend. Don’t see or speak to her unless you absolutely have to and then keep it direct and to the point. It will clear your mind and help you see more clearly.

everyone who goes through this discovers the importance of “NO CONTACT“.
 

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No contact is your best friend. Don’t see or speak to her unless you absolutely have to and then keep it direct and to the point. It will clear your mind and help you see more clearly.

everyone who goes through this discovers the importance of “NO CONTACT“.
Oh yeah. I only speak to her when absolutely need be.
 
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