I will try to keep a long story short.My wife and I have been married 3 years.We have 2 beutiful baby boys together.5 months ago she told me she didnt want to be with me anymore because I drink to much and she felt like we were just roomates.And that I did not help her with the kids and arround the house enough.
We have had this conversation before in our marriage and I would change but divert back to my old ways.
I realized this time I needed to man up and be the husband and father her and my children deserved.Abought 3 weeks after she told me this, she went out with a freind and was gonna spend the night at her house.
She didnt get home till 3:00 pm the next day so that threw up a red flag for me.After a few days of investagating I told her I wanted her to call her freind and let me ask her if my wife had spent the night there.That is when she finally came clean and said she had lined up a date with an old boyfreind and spent the night with him.She claimed they didnt have sex because it was against his morals,but she wanted to.Says she was embarased he turned her down.It disgusts me that emarases her but not her actions.
A couple weeks later I found an email she had sent to a different ex boyfreind 10 months after we were married.Basicly it said she was sorry she cheated on him.She cant change the past but can change the future.And asked him for another chance.He was abought to get married.He told her he was happy with is life and turned her down.
When I confronted her abought it she basicly said it was somthing she felt she had to do.
She has told me she knows both things she did was wrong ,but felt like our marriage was over a long time ago.I asked her why she stayed with me.She said it was the right thing to do.
I have realized after what she has done to me how bad she really viewed our marriage,I was not even close to the husband and father I am now.
The problem I have is we are trying to save our marriage,but when I bring up my feelings abought what she did she gets upset and says she dosnt bring up my past.
She says she loves me but is not in love with me right now.
I am torn because she cares so little right now,but I now know what she was feeling when I wasnt being the father and husband I should have.
I want to talk out all of our issues,but she wants to sweep them under the rug,and wait and see if her feelings for me come back.
I am at a loss,should I give her more time,or just realize she is to selfish to change her ways.?
We have had this conversation before in our marriage and I would change but divert back to my old ways.
I realized this time I needed to man up and be the husband and father her and my children deserved.Abought 3 weeks after she told me this, she went out with a freind and was gonna spend the night at her house.
She didnt get home till 3:00 pm the next day so that threw up a red flag for me.After a few days of investagating I told her I wanted her to call her freind and let me ask her if my wife had spent the night there.That is when she finally came clean and said she had lined up a date with an old boyfreind and spent the night with him.She claimed they didnt have sex because it was against his morals,but she wanted to.Says she was embarased he turned her down.It disgusts me that emarases her but not her actions.
A couple weeks later I found an email she had sent to a different ex boyfreind 10 months after we were married.Basicly it said she was sorry she cheated on him.She cant change the past but can change the future.And asked him for another chance.He was abought to get married.He told her he was happy with is life and turned her down.
When I confronted her abought it she basicly said it was somthing she felt she had to do.
She has told me she knows both things she did was wrong ,but felt like our marriage was over a long time ago.I asked her why she stayed with me.She said it was the right thing to do.
I have realized after what she has done to me how bad she really viewed our marriage,I was not even close to the husband and father I am now.
The problem I have is we are trying to save our marriage,but when I bring up my feelings abought what she did she gets upset and says she dosnt bring up my past.
She says she loves me but is not in love with me right now.
I am torn because she cares so little right now,but I now know what she was feeling when I wasnt being the father and husband I should have.
I want to talk out all of our issues,but she wants to sweep them under the rug,and wait and see if her feelings for me come back.
I am at a loss,should I give her more time,or just realize she is to selfish to change her ways.?