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Discussion Starter #1
Ok. 10 second story.

I've been a Jerk. WIfe adn I been together 11 years. We've had LOTS of loving times and memories. Started a haunted house businss. Volunteers came over. She spent all her time mainly with 2 teenagers. (i'm 37) she cheated on me with one of them. Commences to tell me 11 years mostly have been bad.

Ok, I'm a jerk. I'm changing, doing the 180 and all that, failing the last fwe days. However, my wife decided to break and tell me everything and then tells me she wants to be loved, and to be loved by me. We had sex the other day. Twice in a row and I went down on her which I normally don't do and got her off again. (sorry to be so blunt, drinking and not thinking so clearly).

NOW she says she doesn't feel the way she should when having sex. However, I got rough with her, was sensual, tried different positions, mixed it up a bit, then went down on her for her second orgasm, but it was "different" she said. But, she says she wants time. AFTER this, just yesterday she said *(she's on her period) "maybe in a day or so we can try those condoms you bought, I should be light enough"

Now? She says she can't do it. I NEED her, I'm failing at the 180. I don't drink. Had a 1/5th of hot damn (not a drinker) and I'm drunk. I can't see straight, I miss her badly... would someone please help me? Talk to me, help me with something. Come to find out my anger wasn't near as bad as she led on. I'm still working on it though, (have terrible road rage) almost had 2 accidents in the last few days and I blessed them, instead of cussed them and didn't realize I'd even did it, she noticed and comented on it. I'm lonely, I misss my wife and I'm hurting so badly. Hence the drinking. I'm here to feel comfort because I DO NOT want to cheat on my wife.... but I need her. I know I'm breaking the "code" or w/e by drinking and all but I'm so hurt right now. She's blaming my jerk as being the cause of everything, including her infidelity but I'm thinking HTF can that be worse than cheating? Reading you guys' posts, NOTHING justifies cheating... I wished I could just leave, but I love her too much I guess.

Dewayne.
 

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She has your number and knows you aren't going any were.

So stop drinking work on your self and let her go.

Until you show her the consequences for her actions she will continue.

Again, you ain't going anywere so she has nothing to loose.

Once you can let her go and stop sharing your wife then she might start to think twice in what she is about to loose.

Once you solber up and work on raising your attraction leave up then maybe she will start to second guess here choices.
 

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Oh dear. You seem sad and lonely. I don't think I can answer all of these questions but I think you should sleep it off. Nothing justifies any type of betrayal but it still happens.
No one deserves to be treated badly in any capacity.
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Discussion Starter #4
I'm sorry. I know it's ridiculous but anyways. I'm feeling terrible and unlikd my wife, I HAVE NO on e else. My friends, the 2 best friends I have, are alllllwaaayyysss BUSY. He11 nick works like 16 hour days (farmer hand). Literally. He's lik up before 4or w/e and doesn't leave till 10 or some crap. PJ (jeremY) works 30 hours at pc shop (my old job) and goes to full time classes. THAT"S IT!!!. I have no one else. So please, don't pass me off as some jerk trying to get attention. I really ... nvm. I shouldn't post this but I HATE deleting posts. SO I have to hit the "post" button. Sorry.
 

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Dewayne,
Your wife is not right upstairs. She is in her mid 30's and slept with a teenager. No rational person behaves that way. She has some sort of mental illness that you (or possibly her) don't know about. The decision to divorce is yours alone. She needs to understand her behavior is not okay and won't be tolerated. She is to have NO contact with these kids again and must show you she wants to be with you. If she fails at this, then she is not worth your time. The best thing you can do is talk to her and start working out the terms of your divorce, unless you WANT to live in a one sided open marriage. Oh yeah, and don't cheat back. You have the high ground right now. Don't lose that for some sex that won't matter in ten years from now. Best of luck, your situation sucks. I have been there where you are.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
wow, I didbn't refresha dn I posted and got 2 responses.

Heaven1, I know. I AM lonely. I'm sorry. I ... can't explain it. I've been a jerk to the woman I lvoe dearly for so long. Like, we'd be at my parents for the weekend or holidays and I'd be a jerk to her, talk rudely to her, call her retarded... I'm such an freakin idiot. Like my bro says tho, I DESERVED her to leave, I dSERVED her to kick me arse, but sinstead, she cheated. good gawd. I'm an idiot. :(

hOW DO YOu leave tho? How can you leave when it hurts so bad to be away from soneone you love dearly? Xhe just left and she was so nice to me, even being drunk, she's so nice to me. NOW... earlyer today? hen I was hurtin badly? She barely held my hand but she said it wass because seh didn't know how to react. Dam I just noticed all the red underlines, I'm not trying to correct, please bare with me.

Theguy, Man I KNOW it.. i know she has my number, but wtf do I do? HAHA, i just noticed, I may be drunk but you said Here instead of Her!

Pardon me man, I'm trying to laugh. :p

I know.. no seriously I KNOW I need to do that, but dad gum it, it's so freaking hard. I'm SCARESd to be alone, sure, but dammit, we have a daugheter (forgot to add that, sorry) and she's almost 3...

Taking a few seconds, to try and think soberly... she says she'll never be with another man (i know i know, b/s right?) but she can't stand the thought of trusting another man with our daughter. Sure, i can understand that feeling, but she said if we fail, she'll be alone/ So I asked, WTF is it with Micahel then? Seriously? But sHE brought up the no contact rule, SHE's the one ignoring him in texting etc. When they were here to act last night, she didn't say 2 words to him hardly. She stayed away from him and he stayed away from me. I think I scared them. I wetn to their house and confronted them. Told them I SHOULD bury them both (friends) but I was trying to be nice and a changed man. They were scared out their wits, but taht was my intention. Instead of hurting some teenager that doesn't know how serious it is to mess with a man's WIFE.... I tried to teach a lessson. It old tthem how I literally saw a hole get put through a man because of an affair. Sh.t don't go nicely. I think they got the point. So yeah, no contact etc... she's upset... really upset about the whole thing, but it wasn't just once, it was twice. Second time was because she went and partied with them and she did it.


Man, if I could be ok in the morning to leave, I think I'll pack my sh.t up and go to my mom's. But then, she's 30 min's away from the haunt :( I HAVE to finish the season out.

I'm sorry for such long post. i'm just trying to vent a little. I'ma try to go sleep some of this poison off. I'm usually funny as he11 when I'm drunk, but beign depressed about this crap really changes the gamefield huh.

Thanks for reading and helping guys, it's so much appreciated. It doesn't quite kill the pain, but makes you think more... ya know? (drinking that is)
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I have... NWEVER cheated on sanyone. EVER. I'm such a proud person to say that... but you know... man I've thought about it. I;'d almost like to just do it,... just to find out how it feels. I can't imagine that it feels good.

She's talking about working things out, but after having sex (she even admitted it was GREAT) BUT she says she wasn't "feeling" what she thinks she should've. I told her "you CHEATED!!! Of course it's not gonna feel the same... dork" lol. So anyways, she's talking like she wants me, and wants to work things out but is having a hard time comforting me. The thoughts.... sometimes man I can't handle it. :LSDKgjpoSDIGOPIHSDPGJSDGJISDJ. ...

hyou know... sometimes you just wanna be held. . . I haven't actually cried in a very long time. i ahven't really NEEDED a sh oulder to cry on, but I think I could really use one right now. ... and the worse thing is..> i have no one. . . .
 

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I can't believe you still have them working for you.

Think about it, they have no respect for you by doing it with your wife, what makes you think they have enough respect to care about any liability for your business.

Fire them both and replace them, the season is still young.
 

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Man, if I could be ok in the morning to leave, I think I'll pack my sh.t up and go to my mom's. But then, she's 30 min's away from the haunt :( I HAVE to finish the season out.

)
Do not leave the home, ask her to leave!

And expose this to the kids parents!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
That's so true. Here's a ckicker for you The Guy... my wife's newfound best friend is Scarlett.... she's dating the toxic enabler of Michael... "Ryan" SoOOO! If I fire them both, it pisses off mh wife and scarlett too.

BTW,... Ryan and Scarlett left last night... make up was done at 6:00... they were MIA from 5:50 to 7:30 and they were pissed because I recast Scarlett's roll as my victim (I'm Dr. Trauma... cuts up a young girl on a table which sprays water on the guests... very cool...)

Why does she think she's got a right to be pissed anyways? Seriously. YOU"RE LATE FOR WORK!!! volunteers, sure but they're still getting cash bonuses and entereing to win EXPENSIVE gifts.... Kinda a job anyways... Anyways. You're right Guy, I NEED to cut them all and let it go... but the hautn strives for actors. Suppose to be 5 actors in the zombie living room, aand I only had 3. So yeah, we're short as it is... unfortunately the haunt is the greater good in this situation... Ib elieve. Divorce or Reconcile, I think the haunt takes priority in either one. This sucks btw....
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Obtw... their parents? Ryan's dad is ???? Mom is deaf and such... Michael's mom is "out" ... daddy? Again.. ???? .

So yeah, no good there :(
 

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Discussion Starter #13
btw... thank you so much for talking with me. It's really helping me at the moment, so... much appreciated.
 

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I looked at your other thread. You found out your wife had left your home in the middle of the night to go to your employee's house for gangbang with five guys, which you interrupted at 3AM or something like that and found your wife hiding in a closet in the gangband house, correct?

Also, your wife has been committing adultery against you since you married and has suffered no consequences. That makes you a wittol.

You have few friends, your mother keeps you away from her, and no church, but you have non-traditional religious beliefs. What non-traditional beliefs? Do you worship Odin? Does your wife worship Freyja (that would explain a lot). If so, no problem. You're not constricted by the Puritan Marriage Ideal that the rest of the English speaking world subscribes to. If your wife is moved out, move some girls in. That's what Thor would do. Why would you try to maintain a Christian basis for marriage when you don't subscribe to the underlying belief system. Your wire has clearly been in an open marriage since the beginning. She has little respect for you and regards your SMV as Ø.
 

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Sorry man you are in so deep pain. It's palpable even with the booze interfering.

When did she confess? When did the cheating happen?
When did she offered the NC thing and such (seems she's being searching the web to get help on "how to fix it").

Somethimes, in the imediate aftermath of this nightmare both wayward nad betrayed are lost. Not feeling, confused. It seems she's trying. Let her. Naturaly she will shift the blame for a while. If you actually acted as a jerk for a while well.. it's your to own. She owns the cheating fully too.

Sober up, get some sleep. Come back. We can support you and help you.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
At first sir, you were a dooshbag.... lol. But then I finished your post. Yeah... welll my belief is called something but that's not merit to the conversation. The thing is, I still beleive in giivng my word in marriage. As does my wife, or so I thought.

It wasn't a gangbang. She screwed Michael, one guy and she got high for the first time. No excuse but WTF>.. RIGHT?

My beliefs are strong with marrige still, just like all the normal Christian folks. We believe in our word and we believe in marraige. My wife too, but she's goofy and screwed up. More than me for being a jerk. Sure.

I know what i have to do, I'm here at this moment in time for comfort. Hping I can find someone to talk to me, I don't give 2 chits whether it's drag racing, haunted houses or my crumbling marriage.

When have you hit bottom sir? Seriously, have you even been there? Assuming so as to how you're here, but I'm a lonely, VERY hurt man that's been drinking. So seriously, I'm just here to get comfort at this time. I know what I need to do, I'm telling you it's DAM HARD to do... when you love teh stupid woman.. :(

Thanks for your time and post Machiavelli, sorry if I mispelled that. I worship god btw... just not traditional god. Too long of discussion, not here, not now... sorry :/

I have NO DISRESPECT for other beliefs... that's what makes us human man. Freewill to do as such as you please. Right?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Just saw the posts Acabado, sorry. yeah, I know man.

Cheating first time hasn't been confirmed... 2 weeks ago? Then last sunday (week I guess, today's sunday I think) She went and did that b/s with the party. WTF? dam I'm stupid.

But anyways, yeah... she's confessed, but there's no excuse for it.
I'm trying to go to sleep but everytime I lay down, I get depressed... badly. There's an AR15 in the house and a few .44's and I DO NOT want to get more depressed. My daughter doesn't deserve this. . . and frankly, even being an azz, I don't think I do either. It's b/s. It really is.

You're right... the worse physical pain I've had was being shot, and then a toothache. I'd rather take EITHER FREAKIN ONE over this b/s p;ainn I have now. Send me over seas to get beheaded, it'll last a whole lot less time. . . I'ms orry, that was uncalled for.

yes. Lots of pain.

drinking doesn't help always, but it helps the heartache. ... Sometimes.
 

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Call the kids parents and tell them what your wife have chosen to do.

They will take care of the punk and your wife. hopefully you will put her stuff out in the street where it blongs and lock the door with an new lock.
 

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Machiavelli, you have such a way with words! All I can keep thinking now is....What would Thor do? :)

Dewayne, calm down my friend. Stop the drinking. I tried it, didn't do much for the pain and it really can let the emotions go in bad directions.

I don't care what kind of jerk you are, were or are going to be...no one deserves to be the victim of infidelity.

Holding back info and making us go looking around to fill in the blanks doesn't help anyone. You have put up with cheating for too long? Do you think you are the only one? Do you think you cannot salvage some self-respect and a happy life (with or without your wife)? You are wrong.

Put the drink down. Go to bed. In the morning when you are feeling sober, come back and post it all out, the bitter truth of it all.
 
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