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Wife cheated... Feels like a dream

3558 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by  827Aug
I've read a bunch of posts on here and looking for some feedback. Here's my story:

My wife and I have been married for 7 years and we have 3 boys together. It has been a little rocky but through everything we still love each other. So last summer she found out I cheated on her several times with another woman. She eventually forgave me after I promised to never speak to the woman ever again. We were still working through it and things seemed to be going pretty well. We moved into a new place and in order to help with the additional bills she took up a new job at a night club as a ****tail waitress. Honestly I trusted her and was ok with it because she always reassured me that she was completely against any cheating.

After about 3 months of lonely nights, I decided I wanted to try a separation due to disagreements in the relationship and she actually agreed. This was surprising to me because she was the one that was always "clingy". I actually felt relieved after we talked about it because we decided that we were best friends and maybe some time apart would make things better. We decided I would look for a place and we would work our relationship and start to court each other again. I remained in the house because finances didn't allow for me to move out immediately. We were still having sex, she still kissed me every morning and night when she went to work at the club. Not much had really changed. She told me she loved me a lot. Then one saturday night she came home extremely late. When she came home I was still awake as I could never sleep when she was working, I was furious and we had a huge argument. I felt very uneasy about things but I didn't suspect she was cheating. So the following Tuesday I was talking with a coworker and decided to check the phone bill. I wrote down several phone numbers and called them claiming I had the wrong number.

When I got home I asked her who the numbers were, one imparticular she said was an old high school girlfriend and even showed me the contact. Actually a text came through when she was in the other room from the "girlfriend" and I could have looked at it but didn't out of respect. So that's when everything blew up. Later that night I assume the guy told her I called him and wanted to break things off with her. She became furious at me and fessed up about the affair. She had sex with the other man. She only fessed up to one time and I learned later that it was twice.

I love my wife and we are working on things but it has only been two months and while she continually tells me how much she loves me, I can't help but replay him and her having sex. She did it in his car and went to his house once. She said he was not good in bed but we all know that is just to spare my ego. I haven't forgave her yet and just want to get passed it all.

Any advice?
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Sorry you are both going through betrayal. You and your wife are going to have to make a conscious decision of whether you wish to remain married or get a divorce. People who want to remain married don't separate and open the door for further infidelity.

Counseling would be a good starting point. And she might need to find another job with mutually compatible hours. It's going to be hard to reconnect and gain trust when you don't spend time with each other.

Hope everything works out for you and your family.:)
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