She seem to have mood swings...like she can act like we didn't have a fight a night before...and expect me or whoever she had a fight with to act the same.Has she always been aggressive?
I could see this type of advice coming..that's why I mentioned about it on my original post.Yes, I have some advice.
1. Buy a voice activated recorder. Keep it on your person at all times while near your wife.
2. Set firm boundaries on her behavior. Say, "If you yell at me or threaten me with violence, then I will call the police and reconsider staying in this relationship."
3. Understand that it's better for your kids to be without their mother than to witness domestic violence in action.
4. File for and receive a restraining order using the evidence from the VAR to back up your claim and prevent false charges on her part.
5. If you love your children, then don't subject them to abuse from their own mother, deal with the problem.
6. File for divorce asking for exclusive use of the marital home and sole custody of your children due to her documented (via VAR) violence. Ask for child support as well.
Don't tolerate this abusive behavior any longer. No person has to live with abuse from another, their are laws against that sort of thing. You deal with abusers by hitting them hard, hitting them fast, and hitting them often (legally speaking, of course).
Short answer: read Stop Walking on Eggshells, the best-selling book targeted to abused spouses, and start participating (or at least lurking) at BPDfamily's "Staying" message board and "Raising a Child when One Parent Has BPD" board.I need tips on how to deal with stress caused by a contentious or brawler wife.
JJ, your comment about "mood swings" brings us to "long answer" territory. Because the brawling and mood changes have been occurring throughout your 15 year marriage and she is not a drug abuser, the most likely causes are strong traits ofShe seem to have mood swings...like she can act like we didn't have a fight a night before....
When a person marries someone having strong NPD or BPD traits, it is common for the courtship period to be filled with passion and great sex and, immediately following the wedding, for it all to go off a cliff. This is another reason I am suggesting you seek a professional opinion on what you're dealing with.She's been this way since we got married 15 years ago, and only discovered this behavior after we got married.