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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is a doozy. Several months ago, wife started a chat online with a scammer pretending to be J Hope, a famous K Pop star. Somehow he convinced my wife that he (famous wealthy 27-year old pop star) is in love with my 63-year old overweight wife, and wants to marry her.

In the process, he has tricked her into sending him over $60,000. When I discovered their conversation, I could see she was trying to figure out how to send him $300,000 for a house. The conversation referred to my wife leaving me at the end of the year.

I thought it would be easy to bring her out of this delusion, but she appears immune to logic or pressure, even when I've involved other family members. I've locked down her accounts, but this has only caused the scammer to push her hard towards divorce, which is what she's doing. I've tried technical solutions, blocking email, texting etc, but they always find new ways to reconnect.
 

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I’d look into having her committed.
If possible, yes.

Also, reach out to the management company of the real J Hope. As I'm sure he would want to know that his good name is being smeared in this way. It's very probable your wife is not the only victim of the scammer using his name.

this person claims to be J. Hope's manager https://twitter.com/mochihob
 

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These romance scammers are evil scum. They will do anything to get money and they destroy lives literally. They usually take advantage of the lonely and unhappy. This is somewhat different in that she is married. Maybe she felt lonely despite being married? Who knows, but these awful people will usually pick on those who are vulnerable.

You can only stop her having access to any money and take legal advise about the next steps. Unless she comes out of this fog she will give more money to him once you are divorced.

Please do NOT have her committed. She isn't mentally ill or mad. Nor is she an idiot. The most clever and successful women have been taken in by romance scammers. They groom people over long periods and it's abuse pure and simple.

Oh and please tell the police. In the UK they have teams who investigate such crimes so I presume they will where you are from. That may help her to see what is going on.
 

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This is a doozy. Several months ago, wife started a chat online with a scammer pretending to be J Hope, a famous K Pop star. Somehow he convinced my wife that he (famous wealthy 27-year old pop star) is in love with my 63-year old overweight wife, and wants to marry her.

In the process, he has tricked her into sending him over $60,000. When I discovered their conversation, I could see she was trying to figure out how to send him $300,000 for a house. The conversation referred to my wife leaving me at the end of the year.

I thought it would be easy to bring her out of this delusion, but she appears immune to logic or pressure, even when I've involved other family members. I've locked down her accounts, but this has only caused the scammer to push her hard towards divorce, which is what she's doing. I've tried technical solutions, blocking email, texting etc, but they always find new ways to reconnect.
The scammer isn’t your biggest problem. Your cray, cray wife is. Protect yourself. You can’t fix her.
 

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The scammer isn’t your biggest problem. Your cray, cray wife is. Protect yourself. You can’t fix her.
This is exactly correct.

The scammer is not the issue here, the fact that your wife doesn’t want you, and is susceptible to a romance scammer is the issue.

Unless she is cognitively deficient, she is either crazy/unstable or she is playing you.
If she’s that unstable and/or that uncommitted to you - get a lawyer and divorce her now.

She might also be playing you, and the scammer may be a real live friend / boyfriend / accomplice - trying to scam YOU of extra money before she leaves you.

Either way, you need to protect yourself legally / financially and get her out of your life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
If possible, yes.

Also, reach out to the management company of the real J Hope. As I'm sure he would want to know that his good name is being smeared in this way. It's very probable your wife is not the only victim of the scammer using his name.

this person claims to be J. Hope's manager https://twitter.com/mochihob
Sadly, BTS and their management company are almost unreachable. I have tried. They get bombarded by crazy fans. I'll try your Twitter link, thanks.
If possible, yes.

Also, reach out to the management company of the real J Hope. As I'm sure he would want to know that his good name is being smeared in this way. It's very probable your wife is not the only victim of the scammer using his name.

this person claims to be J. Hope's manager https://twitter.com/mochihob
Thanks for the link. I've tried already through several other means. Almost impossible to reach anyone through all the fans.
 

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This is a doozy. Several months ago, wife started a chat online with a scammer pretending to be J Hope, a famous K Pop star. Somehow he convinced my wife that he (famous wealthy 27-year old pop star) is in love with my 63-year old overweight wife, and wants to marry her.

In the process, he has tricked her into sending him over $60,000. When I discovered their conversation, I could see she was trying to figure out how to send him $300,000 for a house. The conversation referred to my wife leaving me at the end of the year.

I thought it would be easy to bring her out of this delusion, but she appears immune to logic or pressure, even when I've involved other family members. I've locked down her accounts, but this has only caused the scammer to push her hard towards divorce, which is what she's doing. I've tried technical solutions, blocking email, texting etc, but they always find new ways to reconnect.
What do you know about the scammer? What country is he located in? What have you done to try to get as much info as possible on this person? Where did she send the money? How did she send it? Check, online transfer? How?

Do you have the money to hire a good PI who specializes in cybercrimes?

You need to see a divorce attorney and don't tell her that you are doing that because you need to know how to protect yourself.

Any amount she gave this guy should go against her share of your marital assets.
 

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Valid point. I really wanted to save her. But so much damage has been done now, I will probably have to exit.
Do you have children? How old are they? Do they know what their mother is up to?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
What do you know about the scammer? What country is he located in? What have you done to try to get as much info as possible on this person? Where did she send the money? How did she send it? Check, online transfer? How?
I have some evidence he's in Africa. Black Axe is a Nigerian operation behind lots of romance scams. All the money transfer methods are untraceable - Bitcoin, gift cards, and wire transfers through stolen bank accounts.

An FBI report has been made.
 

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She has two sons from her previous marriage. I have brought them in to help me (made my wife very angry with me.) But they have an obvious stake if their Mom winds up divorced and penniless.
How long have you been married to your wife?

It sounds like your wife is not employed and has no money of her own. Does she have access to a joint bank account? Is that where she's getting the money from? What have you don't to end her access to money?

If she had no access to money, they scammer will go away.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
How long have you been married to your wife?

It sounds like your wife is not employed and has no money of her own. Does she have access to a joint bank account? Is that where she's getting the money from? What have you don't to end her access to money?

If she had no access to money, they scammer will go away.
18 pretty decent years of marriage. We are both retired, and both well off financially. She has used her own accounts so far. She made the mistake of telling the scammer how much money we have. This is why he's been so tenacious. Of course, he's teasing information out of her. There's already been an attack on my investment account. I've maxed out security and changed all security questions to random words.

Worst case scenario is a kidnapping and ransom demand. These scams sometimes end this way when a lot of money is involved.

I have locked down all her money. This has spurred scammer to push her hard towards divorce.
 

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This is a doozy. Several months ago, wife started a chat online with a scammer pretending to be J Hope, a famous K Pop star. Somehow he convinced my wife that he (famous wealthy 27-year old pop star) is in love with my 63-year old overweight wife, and wants to marry her.

In the process, he has tricked her into sending him over $60,000. When I discovered their conversation, I could see she was trying to figure out how to send him $300,000 for a house. The conversation referred to my wife leaving me at the end of the year.

I thought it would be easy to bring her out of this delusion, but she appears immune to logic or pressure, even when I've involved other family members. I've locked down her accounts, but this has only caused the scammer to push her hard towards divorce, which is what she's doing. I've tried technical solutions, blocking email, texting etc, but they always find new ways to reconnect.
Have her committed.
 

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18 pretty decent years of marriage. We are both retired, and both well off financially. She has used her own accounts so far. She made the mistake of telling the scammer how much money we have. This is why he's been so tenacious. Of course, he's teasing information out of her. There's already been an attack on my investment account. I've maxed out security and changed all security questions to random words.

Worst case scenario is a kidnapping and ransom demand. These scams sometimes end this way when a lot of money is involved.

I have locked down all her money. This has spurred scammer to push her hard towards divorce.
These awful people are ruthless. They care nothing about others misery.
 
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