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So my wife who left me 2 months ago after being so hurtful to me and never wanting to attempt to save the marriage and walked away now all of a sudden last week decided to look for me and sends me a message saying that she misses me and loves me and wants for us to get back together. Just as I was starting to be strong and was starting to move on she came out of nowhere. We talked for the past few days only to find out that she's been lying to me the whole time and never really loved me but wanted me to suffer again. I swear like I'm living in a movie and I just don't know why this is happening to me. She is so evil if you guys only knew everything. Now I feel lost and helpless and devastated. She said things like she would do anything and whatever it takes to prove to me that she loves me. She said this everyday until last night when I found out something horrible and called her out on it and now she blames me for everything and says that she hates me and I have not heard back from her since. I am hurting so much right now. Why did she have to come back and mess with me just when I was starting to move on?? Why?? I feel so horrible right now. Don't know what to do. I dreamt of the day she would come back and tell me all of those things she said but now I don't even know where she is because she hasn't called or texted me at all. I don't want to feel this way. I am feel so hurt, probably the worst I've ever felt in my life.
 

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I am sorry you are going through this. Many here at TAM have similar stories and weathered the storm. You will need to grieve the situation, but know that it will get better. Time heals wounds.

What did you find out the threw the Reconciliation into a tail spin?

Learn to 180 for yourself!

I wish you well.
 

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Thanks This Is Me

Actually, doing the 180 worked wonders for me even though at the beginning it killed me inside now know what she was doing but as time went on during those 2 months I started to feel better but it was like if she had radar or something because right when I started to feel that way was when she started texting me and calling me. It's kind of a long story about what happened last night but basically I found out that her and her sister were planning on doing something behind my back.

I'll try to make this as short as possible but just to give some backstory, my wife is currently in Mexico and has been for the past year and a half. I have been taking care of our son here in the States for this whole time and have been supporting her financially while she's in Mexico. I applied for her Visa earlier this year and was approved about a month ago. This is when she changed and decided to end the marriage by saying she didn't love me anymore and didn't want to get back together again. Walk away wife basically. Well fast forward to this past week when she's been asking for forgiveness she started telling me about a guy that her sister knows at her job, btw her sister lives in the same town where I currently live now, that apparently can "sneak" her into the country illegally because he's a truck driver and has a permit to carry a gun, I still can't believe she told me that like that means something. Well the weird thing was that for the past couple of days she's been trying to convince me that this guy is her only way back because the Visa will take too long but when I would ask her if he's trustworthy in doing this she would never answer me. Now for what happened last night. I hacked into one of her apps she uses to text and low and behold I found that she was texting her sister while I was wondering the whole time why she wasn't answering her messages I sent her. My wife asked for the guy's number but her sister started telling her how much problems she's having with her husband because of that guy and that's when she dropped the bombshell and said that her husband hired a private investigator and found that guy with her at a park and found them kissing and cuddling. Her husband confronted her and she admitted about the affair and told him she doesn't love him anymore because she loves the other guy and she wants a divorce blah blah blah. What upsets me the most is that explains why my wife never wanted to tell me the truth about that truck driver and oh on top of that said that he would do this favor for free, NOBODY EVER DOES ANYTHING FOR FREE! but she tried to convince me otherwise. She tried to hide that so I wouldn't find out. She then went on to tell me that she hates me and will never give me an explanation as to why she couldn't tell me the truth about that guy because I don't deserve it. But she sure did pressure me to send her money for her travel expenses with that guy. She's been telling me this for the past two days to send her money. I am so angry, hurt but finally decided to end it and told her to never come back to me ever again and that I am dead to her. It's over, but something tells me that this won't be the last time I will hear from her :mad:
 

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You've lost her muchacho. And what's worse for her is that she is putting her faith in a piece of sh!t coyote instead of you where it belongs. You are right, no coyote smuggles someone for free. You should assume the worst: she is trading her body to him for passage. Sickening.

Go 100 percent dark...black...total stealth mode. File for divorce now and rid you and your son's life of this evil woman.
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I read this and I jumped to a conclusion... They've been apart for a year and a half. She just wants to get in the country. She is desperate...

Does this sum it up?
 

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You've been supporting her in Mexico for a year and half. she's not been faithful during that time, but something must have changed down there with the OM that she's decided to leave him and return north. I don't think she's coming back to you though, I think she's coming back to the US and expecting you to fund it.

The smartest thing you can do now is cut of ALL money. Not a dime or peso.

do not sponsor her to come to the US, and file for sole custody.

Oh, and make sure you share the messages you got with your brother in law - it may help him if he gets weak and the trashy SIL tries to get back with him.
 

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Sad when I read these stories that run some parallels to mine. My marriage was salvagable and we are both happy to be back together, but yours appears to be much more divisive.

The bad behavior sister who role models in the worst of ways is very powerful to ruining marriages.

I agree with the others here that you should protect yourself by going dark. She seems completely untrustworthy and potentially harmful to you.

Do you have a support person or people to help you?

I wish you the best!
 

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I think it's pretty much unanimous. This relationship is done. she is a liar and manipulative and because she can never be trusted, I would be extra vigiliant with your financial information, avoid undue fights, and protect yourself. I don't know what to do about the child between you two and wish you the best.
 
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