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wife began menopause....what can I expect?

8215 Views 49 Replies 22 Participants Last post by  IndyTMI, 
Y
It appears my wife has entered menopause. I just thought I would see if some of you might tell me what to expect. Changes in mood? Behavior? Anyone been there? How did it go for you?
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M
For me I was losing 2-3 weeks a month to hellish PMS where I was irritable, angry, moody and wanted to eat nothing but junk food. You could mark on the calendar to the day when my mood would flip and I had ZERO control over it. Trust me I tried.

So in short it sucked.

I tried all kinds of OTC remedies with no luck. After about 2 years of this crap I decided I'd had enough and sought bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.

Within a month I was a new woman.

Disclaimer: I have ptsd and am prone to depression/anxiety. From what I've read it makes menopause harder on women like me. Some women sail through menopause. I unfortunately wasn't going to be one of them.
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Y
Oh my word! You are scaring me! Thanks! ha. Well.....I asked.
Uh Oh......
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W
I have found it's the peri-menopause period that cause the changes in behavior... that can last for up to 10 years before the actual 'pause' part happens.

For me the most noticeable thing has been my non-existent PMS became a big issue. I get more irritable and moody. I am more easily over whelmed at times and have suffered from depressive thoughts (when this has never been an issue before) which scared me a little, it took me sometime to share this with my H as I thought I was going a bit mad for while...it was such a relief to talk to him. Turned out he was really concerned about me and trying to figure out how to broach the subject (not an easy thing with a peri-menopausal/PMS wife)... so do keep the communication lines open.

Physically I've been very lucky and never had a hot flash or a night sweat or never ending periods or weight gain...so i figure I've got off lightly there.

If her periods have actually stopped and she is truly menopausal then her hormones will settle down and life 'should' be smooth sailing.

If she is fit and healthy she will probably have an easier ride than if she is unfit/unhealthy.
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R
just curious, how can you tell when is starts? Is there a sudden thing that happens to know it started?
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W
For me it was just a change in my normal cycle... it was a slow and subtle change. I just knew something was a bit different.

Although you can get blood tests done to test your hormones.
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Y
Oh my. YOu all are really encouraging. NOT. I may be stating it incorrectly. She has just begun irregular periods. So I don't know what to call that. Oh my goodness. Good times coming.
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M
My first sign was irregular periods. My estrogen is still normal so no hot flashes or night sweats here either.

Oh forgot another problem. Sleep disturbances. That was the icing on the cake that led me to seek help. Lack of sleep made me crankier.
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youkiddingme said:
Oh my. YOu all are really encouraging. NOT. I may be stating it incorrectly. She has just begun irregular periods. So I don't know what to call that. Oh my goodness. Good times coming.
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Im sorry but I just dont beleive I would be able to tell the difference, mine has been moody for years, although now that I think about it she does say she is having hot flashes once in a while and her period is really bad, and I can verify the pms lasts a couple of weeks. So basically, if she is in it now, Im experiencing one good week per month. Maybe they are all different though, gl2u. Ive heard that this is possibly menopause and possibly the end is near.
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L
The largest issue for me was sleep patterns. I went through a few years of very irregular sleep where waking at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. was normal and couldn't get back to sleep which led to major crankiness throughout the day. I started doing some regular exercises, and sleep is back to 6-7 hours a night, and I feel better. Also, irregular periods (some extremely heavy while others are quite light) and the timing between periods (might be a 28-day cycle while another might be 60 days later). No hot flashes yet, and am noticing more moodiness, maybe starting to get set in my ways...LOL. I hope not.
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W
Menopause is when a womans periods have been absent for one year. No monthly bleeding...no nothing for one year.

Peri-menopause is the years leading up to menopause. They're the roller-coaster bit.

I appreciate I must be very hard on a loving husband to deal with a hormonal wife...

But try it from the womans side... if she angry, crying, bloated, sweating, unable to sleep and bleeding endlessly... how wonderful do you think SHE is feeling?

For 'some' women it is quite hellish... so please be patient/kind!
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Y
Thanks....it is actually peri-menopause she has entered then. I know it has got to be incredibly difficult. I will be patient and kind!!!!!

Is there anything GOOD to expect during this time?????
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L
Yes, menstrual cycles are coming to an end. For most women, I would think they would be overjoyed after having them for a few decades. I know I won't miss mine, :) although it does mean I'm getting older. (Now I get to "live them" through my daughters.)
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Cletus
You can expect to be buying a lot more lube in the future.

Other than that, you'll get as many answers as there are folks out there to have an opinion. My wife went through surgical menopause in her late 30's. There was little obvious change other than the loss of our one-time intense marital negotiations every 28 days. Since you're asking in the sex in marriage forum, it had no impact whatsoever on our sex life.
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T
My wife has been in peri for a couple of years now. Eary on in peri, we actually thought we were pregnant.

For the last 2 years or so, its been crazy. Some months, she didn't have a period. then other months, she may have 2. Some months her period would last for 2 weeks.

As far as her mood, she is fine. It's me who was the moody one, not knowing if we were going to have sex or not or when her period would be over.

Now I think peri may be over. She has a period every other month or so and the cramps, blood and everything seem less. So she tells me.

At 45 years old, my wife can't wait until this is over. We are close.

Just be patient.

Overall, my wife has been good. No crying, no night sweats, she always sleeps...
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youkiddingme said:
Is there anything GOOD to expect during this time?????
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Well .... SOME women go sex mad during this time... wanting daily hot wild monkey sex.
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Y
You all have scared me to death! I think I may need to go ahead and build a storm shelter and put a sleeping bag in it. Ha.....
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youkiddingme said:
You all have scared me to death! I think I may need to go ahead and build a storm shelter and put a sleeping bag in it. Ha.....
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HA! If shes anything like me she will hunt you down... angry and crying... wanting a hug!

I'd suggest putting on your Teflon suit and giving her a hug and do remember that ' This too shall pass".
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M
You can ask a doctor about it for some changes that might happen in your wife.
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