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Wife apparently cheated last year.

1M views 6K replies 242 participants last post by  SearchingForHope 
Agree. Marriage need not be the form of relationship you have moving forward. For one, think about it. Had it not been for you being mugged, which effectively ended your WWs A, for all you know her A may have continued even to this day, assuming the OBS didn’t inform you. Or, she could have moved on to another A, after the first, having enjoyed the the first one without any consequences.

You may be well past this in the R stage. However, no WP can ever say that this is not who they were or are now. Many like to say this, as they can’t face the truth about themselves. Cheaters may love their partner, but having committed adultery is who they are, at the same being a good partner snd parent. They are both people at the same time snd always will be

I’m saying this because I agree you should think twice about remarrying her. Statistically, like it or not, having cheated once makes her three times more likely to cheat again. Yes, she is a different person now. However, thus is an infidelity fact rarely disputed.
 
I think it might help to focus on whether you are capable of R in more broad terms. I think it’s fairly clear that your WW is remorseful, is doing the hard work in IC and reading, and would never cheat on you again in a 100 years. Another positive is that your sex life is amazing and you are not experiencing triggers. This is huge!

1. Can you get to a place where you can forgive?
2. If not, that’s ok, so then can you get to a place of acceptance? Accepting that the woman you loved and trusted could betray both you and herself snd her vows. Accepting that her A is now part of your story as a couple, and if you re marry, this will be one part of your larger marital story. A scar that has healed, yet you will always know that the scar is there.
3. Can you envision a future where her A is something you rarely think about, but when you do, you express this to your WW snd she is empathetic, loving and helpful to get you through this moment and not defensive and frustrated?
 
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