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I had posted 2 earlier entries about suspecting my wife from having an affair. Now waiting for final nail in coffin .... PI starting his work tomorrow.

We were happily married at 23 yos and for 28 yrs (had 2 children) loving relationship .... sex 1 per week. Had a medical mismanagement that got me comatosed for 2 yrs. Had 6 mths physio to learn to walk and talk again ... another 6 mths to strengthen myself and be independent.

Past 1 year
1. Children very happy I woke from coma.
2. Wife ... not happy. Planning to intern me to hospice. Initally I could not fathom why?
3. Wife working high profile position .... comes back home after midnight (Mon-Fri). When I noticed this trend had a word with her. She now set Wed-Fri her own time to fellowship with colleagues .... back at midnight.

4. Last Friday night she was out for corporate dinner .... came back 1 am .... high pitch in her voice. I asked "Beer or whisky this evening?" She said "Both" .... went to bathroom to change and off to bed. When I heard her snoring, went into bathroom to check her clothings. Darn .... saw 2 big patches of semen on her black panties. Took pic of this. PI starting his round tomorrow.

Wanted all evidences (pics of her with man) before I throw divorce papers at her.
 

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We were happily married at 23 yos and for 28 yrs (had 2 children) loving relationship .... sex 1 per week. Had a medical mismanagement that got me comatosed for 2 yrs. Had 6 mths physio to learn to walk and talk again ... another 6 mths to strengthen myself and be independent.

Past 1 year
1. Children very happy I woke from coma.
2. Wife ... not happy. Planning to intern me to hospice. Initally I could not fathom why?
.

I'd say her having an affair is the least if your worries.


If you want to divorce, just divorce her as simply, fairly and amicably as possible.

You poke the bear too much her and you may get a pillow over your face in your sleep or antifreeze in your morning orange juice.
 

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Well get the evidence but Do not confront her. Just say you decided on the divorce and maybe sometime in the future you can discuss the reasons. You keep all the power. Blowing it up will not help you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 

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Dude, wake up, it is 2018. You do not want to blow things up for her. If she is having an affair at work, that might threaten her high paying job.

Whereas, if you divorce her while she remains employed in her high paying job, she will have to pay you alimony. Oh, and if you can delay signing the separation papers until next year (2019), her alimony will not be tax deductible.

Then you can live every betrayed guy's dream: she pays you alimony while you use the money to pay for dates with some pretty young thing. Ex-wife is tied to her high stress full time job for years and years because she owes you alimony. And if the alimony is not deductible, she is getting shafted by you and by the IRS. Win-win-win.

Dude, whatever you do, do not undermine her job. It is your golden ticket to a happy life post-divorce.
 

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On this.....

On this, you were comatose, alive, but not really.

She figured you were gone, alas, not yet.

She was lonely, got a man. Bad, but understandable.

She could have divorced you, but then you would be uninsured.
She could have divorced you, but then you would have had strangers watch over you.

While you were comatose she got lonely, got a man or men.

When you came to, rejoined the world, rejoined the marriage, she should have:
She should have fessed up immediately but then that would have set you back, depressingly, mentally again.

Oh, she is a cheater, an adulteress, of this I agree.

But you left the world, not she.

Answer?

Go to this rehab facility. Get yourself better, get yourself free.
Be the bigger person.

Keep your dignity, let her keep her shame. It is not your doing.
Poop happens.

The women deserves happiness. She will share it with shame for the rest of her life.

Ride this out. This terrible tragedy, this Crap-Fate.
Leave with a smile, a thanks and a hand shake, not a kiss.

Poop happens.
Take a laxative, let it out

Live another day, another life.

The world and her will never forget this...
Forget you.

Just Sayin'

SunCMars- another lucid moment on Earth.
 

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Do what Sun C Mars says. Your wife most likely thought you would die and she moved on with her life as if you were already dead. It's not fair. It's not right, but It's just what some people do. Some people are more practical and pragmatic than others, and some like your WW just get to where they no longer give a rat's ass. Your WW might harbor much resentment towards you and what happened, even if it was not your fault.

If you blow it up it might jeopardize your treatment. Tell her you know she is and has been cheating, and that as soon as you are well you will file for divorce and be on your way. You don't need to prove anything, since your state is most likely a no-fault divorce state. No need to be dramatic or go after her job. She needs that job and you need her employed or else it could cause you problems.

Go see three lawyers for free consults and learn what your rights are in this situation.

I'm sorry this horrible thing happened to you. You really got served a sh*t sandwich.
 

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Darn .... saw 2 big patches of semen on her black panties. Took pic of this. PI starting his round tomorrow.
Not one, but TWO patches of semen? Really? How can you tell if it's semen for just female discharge? What you are considering evidence here is no evidence at all.

Since you think she is cheating, a PI is a good idea.
 

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I had posted 2 earlier entries about suspecting my wife from having an affair. Now waiting for final nail in coffin .... PI starting his work tomorrow.

We were happily married at 23 yos and for 28 yrs (had 2 children) loving relationship .... sex 1 per week. Had a medical mismanagement that got me comatosed for 2 yrs. Had 6 mths physio to learn to walk and talk again ... another 6 mths to strengthen myself and be independent.

Past 1 year
1. Children very happy I woke from coma.
2. Wife ... not happy. Planning to intern me to hospice. Initally I could not fathom why?
3. Wife working high profile position .... comes back home after midnight (Mon-Fri). When I noticed this trend had a word with her. She now set Wed-Fri her own time to fellowship with colleagues .... back at midnight.

4. Last Friday night she was out for corporate dinner .... came back 1 am .... high pitch in her voice. I asked "Beer or whisky this evening?" She said "Both" .... went to bathroom to change and off to bed. When I heard her snoring, went into bathroom to check her clothings. Darn .... saw 2 big patches of semen on her black panties. Took pic of this. PI starting his round tomorrow.

Wanted all evidences (pics of her with man) before I throw divorce papers at her.
To hell with "pics" of her jizzed panties!

Confiscate the damned "panties" themselves. Both her and lover boys DNA are saturated on them, and it's mere presence is next to impossible to refute and more than proves the impropriety!

With a trump card like that that in your arsenal, your attorney would have all kinds of room for a most favorable settlement!
 

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To hell with "pics" of her jizzed panties!

Confiscate the damned "panties" themselves. Both her and lover boys DNA are saturated on them, and it's mere presence is next to impossible to refute and more than proves the impropriety!

With a trump card like that that in your arsenal, your attorney would have all kinds of room for a most favorable settlement!
That depends on if they are in a no-fault state or not.

This is not a presidential impeachment trial.

Most courts don't care who screwed who.

I agree with holdingontoit, make as little fuss and waves about it as possible and go for spousal support and insurance.
 

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I think getting the PI is the best way to go.

You haven't given too much info about your wife, but I'm guessing that her behavior now is a lot different than before your illness. When I read your post, I get the feeling that your wife doesn't care too much about what you think or if you are happy or not. I get the feeling she's basically told you she's going to do what she wants it, if you don't like it you can lump it.

What would you like to eventually happen?
 

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The PI is good but don't be your own project manager. Get a good divorce lawyer right away and have them manage all this. DO NOT blow anything up. She has a lot more to lose than you. I'd bet this is a coworker that she started a relationship with when she thought you'd never wake up. She and her AP probably want this as quiet as possible. What would they look like if it's discovered they started their fling while you were laid up in a hospital? Extremely bad. They'd both probably lose those high paying careers. GET A LAWYER NOW. If I was your lawyer, and I am a lawyer, I'd get the PI for you. I'd get all the evidence we need then, in a case like yours, I'd use their desperation to keep this quiet to your advantage. I promise you my firm would not only get you full custody, child support, and hefty alimony from her, but I'd go after him too. He pays you a settlement for the emotional stress this has caused or I have him subpoenaed and force him to go on the record about everything. There is no incrimination protection in civil cases. He'd have to testify and he's not going to want to do that. He'll pay.

Be smart about this. The physical, emotional, AND financial health of you and the kids is job 1 here. Again, be smart about it. Stop doing it by yourself. GET A LAWYER ASAP!
 

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When I heard her snoring, went into bathroom to check her clothings. Darn .... saw 2 big patches of semen on her black panties. Took pic of this. PI starting his round tomorrow.

Wanted all evidences (pics of her with man) before I throw divorce papers at her.
Take samples for testing of the semen. Photos of the pantries, along with test results showing it is semen, but not yours, is all the evidence that you need to be 100% sure.

Also, due to the extreme nature of your situation, once you have the test results, you should sit her down and discuss it with her. She stuck by you when she could have stuck it to you. It was normal that she moved on when she did, but now she needs to decide if she is too far gone to come back.
 

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That depends on if they are in a no-fault state or not.

This is not a presidential impeachment trial.

Most courts don't care who screwed who.

I agree with holdingontoit, make as little fuss and waves about it as possible and go for spousal support and insurance.
While The Court may not necessarily like them, they're absolutely great for negotiation purposes, more especially with other extended family members who the cheating couple would like to keep this sordid information from!
 
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