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Am I overreacting

  • Yes

    Votes: 1 3.7%
  • No

    Votes: 26 96.3%
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Whew.....

OK....couple of things here....I wont touch that whole **** story or any other hypotheses...I will only comment on that which I have some experience...Mostly in helping people achieve weight loss and fitness goals,,,,I am not a pro or anything, just someone that people tend to reach out to because I have some knowledge in this area..

Sorry, but it would be truly rare for anyone(man or woman) to look spectacular right after that much of a weight loss...In clothes, sure, it would look dramatic...But the overwhelming majority of people(particularly women that lack the muscle mass of a man) will look "bikini ready" after that much of a weight loss...I get it....it's all relative...FFS, all that qualifies as "abs' or a "six pack" nowadays is merely just not having huge rolls of fat on the midsection... :rolleyes:

Now....as to why someone would do this...its a myriad of reasons...

Sure, there have been many a woman that have these "mommy makeovers" because they have one foot out the door and are prepping themselves for the next shlub...er...man...to carry the torch from the first guy...

Or maybe she is truly an attention seeking individual that needs this type of validation to get her off...There are plenty out there like that as well...And posting up a pic will just about guarantee she'll get it...It begins to feed on itself and creates a false sense of some value...

Here is the thing though....

If she truly was in it to better herself, for herself, then she would have zero interest in displaying that to the world...People that live this life(being fit and healthy) are only really in for themselves....At that point it doesn't matter what the hell anyone else thinks about it...Sure, a compliment is always nice, but its not about that...In fact, these types would find it absolutely abhorrent to do what she is doing...Its the height of "bush league" for people that are in it for themselves...Or course these comments don't apply to fitness bloggers and such...They have a specified purpose...Its different for them, lets stay on the topic of "regular folk"...as is apparently the case here...

So what then?? Well...I can tell you that there is likely a nearly 100% chance she falls off the wagon and gains all the weight back...For the reason that once the comments stop(and they will, its all new now) then she will likely have nothing to gain from it...the validation ends and its too difficult to maintain if the "you go girl" and "awesome" comments at every opportunity cease....Its incredibly hard as it is for someone that heavy to keep it off under any conditions, ...especially as she gets older...so my guess is that she'll revert back to her old self...Maybe she wont...Maybe she will just settle into the new life and be happy to have achieved her goals, but the facts presented surely dont indicate that will happen...

Is the OP over reacting?? Maybe.....For all the women out there that think its all the guys insecurity, let me see how they react if their SO was posting shirtless pics on social media with a jacked up, ripped up body....They will have a meltdown over it and absolutely demand they be taken down...So enough already...

If everything else is status quo, its worth watching for signs, but it doesn't necessarily mean she is up to no good(in terms of infidelity)...I dunno..Most people in committed relationships usually take into account how their SO will feel about something, even if it made them feel good...In those cases, they would not do it, so at the very least she is being inconsiderate of you ...I can't say its anything more, because I don't know, just some thoughts...
I am only one women but I definately DONT think its anything to do with the guys insecurity. I would HOPE my husband would put his foot down if I were to EVER do something like this purely because its wrong, bad for the marriage and the children and completely selfish on her part. My husband is the most secure easy going man I know, but in marriage there must be boundaries as to how we act, and this is way over most peoples boundaries.
Trouble is that the more she does this the more she will crave the attention because her insecurities are being fed, and what happens when people get sick of seeing her semi naked pics and stop commenting or block her from their facebook page? I bet some have already. I would have when she first started it.
I think the op knows its not right, hense coming here, but is too scared to stand up to her and say so.
 

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Its only wrong or inappropriate if I or my wife think it is. My wife's friends share tons of firefighters posing with shirts off in the underwear holding puppies and make jokes about the pictures like "There is a puppy hidden somewhere in the photo". Is that offensive?
They're just lusting after the firefighters bodies and not paying attention to the puppy. Would it be offensive to you if you knew your wife was getting all hot and bothered looking at some other guy and riding you with her eyes closed fantasizing it was the firefighter she was riding?
 

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😲
But isn't that "swinging"...??
Swinging is partner swapping between couples. Hot wife is basically a husband lending his wife to other guys because she likes sex and he either cant keep up or dont care she gets screwed by some other guy. But he is making the choice who she screws. It is not an open relationship per say.
 

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Is she getting inappropriate DM’s in her social media? Absolutely.

I’m in my 40s, normal looking and most of my social media posts have my gorgeous hubby in them too.

I would never be on there in my underwear OMG! Still, I get flirty DMs from men every day. I let my husband reply to them. It’s quite entertaining....

So you can only imagine what men are saying to her in their private messages. You already know that though, and that’s why you don’t want to look.

I think your wife is being highly disrespectful to you, your marriage and even herself.
 

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They're just lusting after the firefighters bodies and not paying attention to the puppy. Would it be offensive to you if you knew your wife was getting all hot and bothered looking at some other guy and riding you with her eyes closed fantasizing it was the firefighter she was riding?
I don't care where she gets her appetite as long as she eats at home. :)
 

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Question in my mind....if she will put this on FB something that shouls only be seen by your eyes. You know some guys have IM'ed her right? I wonder what other messaging apps she has on her phone that she may have sent them more explicit photos by. I would bet there are other photos out there.
I don't care where she gets her appetite as long as she eats at home. :)
But in her mind she is screwing other guy, not a small step to physical in my book.either case the Bible says you are committing adultry. If my wife was fantasizing about someone else she would not be my wife for long.

I know of 2 women who got hyper sexual after getting into SOG book. Had men picked out in their head as to what they think the guy looked like. You think they were not fantasizing about this vision they had while screwing their hubbys? I wanted to tell coworker he was just a live dildo she was using while screwing other guy in her mind.

He did not care until she started fing their State Trooper friend on the side.

Other bi+ch, my sister, started a 2.5 yr affair on her husband. We used to be close....not any more. She cant have children and my kids used to be all when are we going to aunties house....now they know what she did they rarely mention her.
 

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Is she getting inappropriate DM’s in her social media? Absolutely.

I’m in my 40s, normal looking and most of my social media posts have my gorgeous hubby in them too.

I would never be on there in my underwear OMG! Still, I get flirty DMs from men every day. I let my husband reply to them. It’s quite entertaining....

So you can only imagine what men are saying to her in their private messages. You already know that though, and that’s why you don’t want to look.

I think your wife is being highly disrespectful to you, your marriage and even herself.
I was thinking about this earlier and the word embarrasing came to my mind. Embarrassing for those on her facebook page, as well as for her husband and her children.
 

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Is she getting inappropriate DM’s in her social media? Absolutely.

I’m in my 40s, normal looking and most of my social media posts have my gorgeous hubby in them too.

I would never be on there in my underwear OMG! Still, I get flirty DMs from men every day. I let my husband reply to them. It’s quite entertaining....

So you can only imagine what men are saying to her in their private messages. You already know that though, and that’s why you don’t want to look.

I think your wife is being highly disrespectful to you, your marriage and even herself.
Who are all these men on your facebook page who send these messages? Do you defriend them?
 

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Thank you for your feedback. I joined here cause I wanted to know whether I was over reacting. I think of myself as a confident man. I do respect people’s opinion and I feel like some responses are said with malice due to bad experiences. I joined cause I wanted to get non bias opinions from both sexes.
.
 

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I’m new to this site so forgive me if I’m not quite doing it right. My wife and I are in our 30’s and after we had our first baby she gained a lot of weight ....... She started eating better and working out non-stop which I supported. Fast forward to July. She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties. ..... Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast. It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive. Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men and women based on the comment section but I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.
First of all, you might want to sit your 30 year old wife down and talk to her about the horrors of digital media. Images posted on the internet can be there forever. She and some of her photos could already be on porn sites. Some time in the future she might need to explain to grandchildren that yes that is a picture of grandma in her youth and that grandma does not think it is appropriate for any of her granddaughters to do anything like that.

You should also tell her (maybe look up in urban dictionary on the internet for her to see) what it means to say one is a "Hot Wife." And tell her (unless you are into such things) that when she says she is a Hot Wife, it is incredibly disrespectful to you, as you are not a cuckold.

You are not over-reacting. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that you are proud of her and how she has taken back her body. Maybe even go to marriage counseling or send her to individual counseling to figure out how she channel her new body pride and self confidence into more productive ways. Exploring her exhibitionist fantasies may be a dream for her, but as with most fantasies, they should be explored in private only with your spouse.

Good luck
 
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