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He would if I went there but until I give the go ahead, he’s holding back the reigns. I’m miserably holding back those reigns out of being cautious.

I see your point though lol. They make meds for that though right? Lol
Forgive me if I am wrong but didn't you say that you and the guy you are talking to are Christians? If so that's probably why he isn't asking for risky pics.
 

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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Forgive me if I am wrong but didn't you say that you and the guy you are talking to are Christians? If so that's probably why he isn't asking for risky pics.
look you again! 😆 that would be correct. That's why and I’m also trying to be a ‘good girl.’ Lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
Yes casual sex isn't what God wants for you. If He is in this relationship then it will develop, if not it wont, trust Him. Are you involved in a church?
Yes, deeply am. I work at the church, which doesn’t mean anything, but for me I’m constantly plugged in. Whether it’s the Thursday group I belong to or the outside meetups I have with church community, it’s always on. Which I know could only be Him working this mess out for His glory.

My friend attends the same kind of church in his town and also assists leading the study he attends on Tuesdays which we talk about and share from each other’s studies. I’m telling you, it does feel too good to be true and maybe it is. Gods up to something, I don’t know what it is, but my leaving my ears and my heart open for it.
 

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He would if I went there but until I give the go ahead, he’s holding back the reigns. I’m miserably holding back those reigns out of being cautious.

I see your point though lol. They make meds for that though right? Lol
Yeah they do. It just seems like you've suffered enough disappointment already to not go through the hassle of a long distance meeting and then end up not even getting any. If he's so into christian chastity that he won't even ask you for a picture is he going to make you wait for marriage too? :unsure:
 

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Discussion Starter · #26 ·
Yeah they do. It just seems like you've suffered enough disappointment already to not go through the hassle of a long distance meeting and then end up not even getting any. If he's so into christian chastity that he won't even ask you for a picture is he going to make you wait for marriage too? :unsure:
So! Since you brought that up. 😆 there May have been a discussion about that. Not that we would or wouldn’t in a new relationship (not even talking us) just in general.. we said basically, how amazing would it be to be able to glorify God in that way. And then we were like, also.. HOW HARD would that be. Stupid hard 😆

So basically I think it’s a matter of, how far can we steer away from sexual gratification with one another should this evolve further, as well as, we have never even met, what if we meet and it’s all you’re like my sister and yeah, you feel like a brother, not cool. Lol. And then we’ve seen each other naked, had obscene dialogue shared. Trying not to make it weird before really knowing each other.

The other side to this really is that he knows all of my past. He wants to prove to me that he’s not out for a hit it and quit it, that I as a woman have value and laced far deeper than my physicality, that the physical part is just a perk to the rest of me and him that we are getting to know. So really he’s protecting me from myself if that makes sense.
 

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Yes, deeply am. I work at the church, which doesn’t mean anything, but for me I’m constantly plugged in. Whether it’s the Thursday group I belong to or the outside meetups I have with church community, it’s always on. Which I know could only be Him working this mess out for His glory.

My friend attends the same kind of church in his town and also assists leading the study he attends on Tuesdays which we talk about and share from each other’s studies. I’m telling you, it does feel too good to be true and maybe it is. Gods up to something, I don’t know what it is, but my leaving my ears and my heart open for it.
He will lead you one step at a time. Whether your friend is there to help you though this part of your life just as a friend, or whether more will come of it who knows. Either way its in Gods hands:)

I love the way God can and does bring good out of bad, beautify from ashes. 😊
 

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So! Since you brought that up. 😆 there May have been a discussion about that. Not that we would or wouldn’t in a new relationship (not even talking us) just in general.. we said basically, how amazing would it be to be able to glorify God in that way. And then we were like, also.. HOW HARD would that be. Stupid hard 😆

So basically I think it’s a matter of, how far can we steer away from sexual gratification with one another should this evolve further, as well as, we have never even met, what if we meet and it’s all you’re like my sister and yeah, you feel like a brother, not cool. Lol. And then we’ve seen each other naked, had obscene dialogue shared. Trying not to make it weird before really knowing each other.

The other side to this really is that he knows all of my past. He wants to prove to me that he’s not out for a hit it and quit it, that I as a woman have value and laced far deeper than my physicality, that the physical part is just a perk to the rest of me and him that we are getting to know. So really he’s protecting me from myself if that makes sense.
Its what God says to do, no sex till marriage, not easy at all but very much worth it.
The guy sounds like a good friend.
 

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Yeah they do. It just seems like you've suffered enough disappointment already to not go through the hassle of a long distance meeting and then end up not even getting any. If he's so into christian chastity that he won't even ask you for a picture is he going to make you wait for marriage too? :unsure:
That's what God says to do, wait till marriage. So if the guy does want to wait, that shows he is serious about His faith.
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
That's what God says to do, wait till marriage. So if the guy does want to wait, that shows he is serious about His faith.
He is definitely seriously about making a concerted effort. Really it was my idea, but he’s for sure keeping me honest when I’m trying to entice him lol.

Makes me more crazy!
 

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Get a friend and go listen to music art, street party event, or whatever makes you happy just talk to men. It’s a first step and something I did for the first time last weekend. It’s nice to be able to finally return a gaze and talk about general stuff with a man. Didn’t dance with them, not there yet. It’s been over a year for me so I get what you’re saying. Im not divorced yet and too Midwest for a one nighter or a relationship but go with whatever makes you happy. Had 4 men paying attention to me, all respectable, interested and friendly. it’s been 3 decades since I’ve been in that position and it did feel good. 1 I knew 20 years ago, 1 nice and 1 sent off major red flags. Be careful and keep your heart and head aware.
 

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Its self control. Many use it in these situations. I doubt he has a sexual disfunction.
I must have missed the part in the Bible where it's a sin to even look at a picture of her. That's not pious, that's dysfunction.

Either that or he hasn't asked for a picture of her because he doesn't want to send one of himself. Jabba the Hutts less attractive brother. It's just a high risk situation for disappointment.
 

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Discussion Starter · #38 ·
So Widow's Fire is what they call your burning sexual desire for this guy? Did you meet on a dating app?
Not for him, just in general. I did not meet him on a dating app. I've not joined an app. We met on a an anonymous forum and starting emailing each other from time to time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
Its self control. Many use it in these situations. I doubt he has a sexual disfunction.
I agree it's absolute self control. It also respect given he knows the entirety of my story and wants me to understand that's he's after more than just sex. I've seen and talked to him, in regards to a previous poster saying he doesn't send pics or whatever it was.

They just aren't nudes or other less wholesome photos. Trust me there's plenty of temptation to head down that path. Another concern is, why go there, when in fact we do finally meet, we get the brother sister vibe and don't pursue anything further? Would be weird to have seen things we can't unsee.

I know it doesn't align with what the world views as 'normal.' But that's us for now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #40 ·
I must have missed the part in the Bible where it's a sin to even look at a picture of her. That's not pious, that's dysfunction.

Either that or he hasn't asked for a picture of her because he doesn't want to send one of himself. Jabba the Hutts less attractive brother. It's just a high risk situation for disappointment.
I would agree there is risk. No less risk in many other cases however.
 
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