why?

I would have had a massive erection watching her pack her things imagining all the new girls I'd be poking...

There was a study once that observed a sample of women reporting they were all disgusted after watching a video of a woman being raped. Yet, using telemetry devices, the study observed they were all turned on physically, each with an enlarged clitoris and heightened vaginal moisture... The study concluded that sometimes our physical responses don't match our emotional ones. This particular instance may have an evolutionary explanation, where a woman's body is designed to minimize damage to its genitals during a forced intercourse by lubricating the vagina.

Just because you had a physical response doesn't mean it must explain or be related to your emotions... How did you feel, your metaphoric heart, to find this out? Weren't you devastated? If you plan to stay in this marriage then there is something wrong with you.
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After my wife admitted having an affair we both came to agree that we both try and stay together for kids even she feels she does not love me anymore. Since we are doing okay as long as everyday life but she does not let me even touch her in sexual way at all. she keep saying that if we have sex now its just because she is obligated to and no feelings whats so ever....It hurts but it's true.
I'm a male and I need release and always end up trying to seduce my wife but gets rejected and end up feeling stupid and being owned by my wife.... I even text her my penis pics trying to make her feel horny or even jerked off next her in bed but she just not care about me anymore....

Since her affair started she limited my access to her and I found my self making love to her dirty thongs and panties... embarrassing but true. During her affair period of time she often left white stain on her thongs and panties...assumed it was from her body fluids drying up proof of her down there was wet and moist often and scent of her dirty thong had indescribable musky aroma that turns me on instantly..I know that they are not from OM fluids because I know the differences in smell.
I remember her down there smelling like this earlier in our relationships when she was still in love with me, when her hormone and her mind was in to me.

This great aroma from her dirty thongs and panties stopped exactly when my wife stopped seeing or doing any kind of communication with this young OM that she had an affair with. The sign that she is not sexually turn on.

This is the fact and hurts knowing that she is telling me true that she is not in love with me and her body reacted to this young OM but not me. She sometimes breakout crying with out telling me why but I know exactly why, her female hormones want to accept this young OM but she can't and she doesn't want to ruin her families life.
Best thing I can do is somehow someway make my wife fall in love with me once again mentally and physically.

There is nothing wrong with you but there is certainly something wrong with your marriage. I think the feelings can be very intense and confusing when you are cheated on and I think that this mix of different feelings commonly includes some level of arousal, sexual curiosity regarding your wife with another man, and fantasy. I think many men suppress this because it's not how you are 'supposed' to respond. Also, it's not pure arousal but the complex mixture that I described.

This is very rarely raised by the male cheating victims here. However, 'mind movies' are commonly discussed and I think it's perfectly normal to be both disgusted and a little bit aroused by these mind movies. It does not mean you are a cuckold or that you are weak or submissive. In fact, it's a very masculine involuntary response prompted by a male's instinct to aggressively compete for his mate when threatened by other males. Simple jealousy where there is no cheating can have the same effect.