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I've said/asked this before. As a non sexual person, why did you believe she would be able to rope in a husband #2?
She can be sexual if she wants to. She was very sexual at the beginning of our relationship. But because of her mental issues and the mistakes I made following her partial disclosure of the severity of the issues, we got to the point of no return. So, I know she can be sexual, so why risk it? There's also lots of men in this world who don't care much about sex.
 

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She bait 'n switched once, right?
She didn't bait and switch me. Her mental issues got gradually worse and she didn't reveal the severity of them to me because not talking about your issues is a classic trait of the illness. But I didn't know this, so I got it completely wrong, behaved "badly" and she detached.
 

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Are you cool with that? Certainly you aren't fool enough to think I would be as apparently you're insinuating so. Bonehead.
That's what you choose if your choice is to end your marriage with kids.

What do you think happens when you kick the mother of your children out? Bonehead.
 

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That's the condensed version, yes, the best part is within the relationship one keeps the knowledge one is in that relationship by choice, not lack of choices. It keeps things solid. I honestly foster that same in dear W because I want her to have that same feeling of being present because she wants to be, not because she feels she has to be.
That's the case in my current marriage. My ex chose not to have sex, so I chose to leave. I was in a good position to do so and moved on quickly.
 
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As long as you're cool with paying for another man to raise your kids, you do you.
you don't pay other man , you stick around until kids are grown up. then goodbye, parting with asset, money is easy. people are dying for freedom, you don't even have to die. oh, is she sorry and lonely now
 

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you don't pay other man , you stick around until kids are grown up. then goodbye, parting with asset, money is easy. people are dying for freedom, you don't even have to die. oh, is she sorry and lonely now
Exactly my point. People here though try to shame the man that suffers through a sexless marriage for years until his kids are grown. There's all this talk of "I'd give her a month, two at most, and I'd be gone", or "He just doesn't want to pay child support", I've even seen comments that "for the kids" isn't even a legitimate reason. A lot of folks here could use a little less solipsism and a little more empathy.

The bottom line is if you pull the exit handle while your kids are little, when she finds a new guy you'll be footing the bill for him to raise them. Heck, if he's solid she could even quit her job to be a SAHM for him and go back to family court to get your support payments upped. I've seen it happen.
 

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That's what you choose if your choice is to end your marriage with kids.

What do you think happens when you kick the mother of your children out? Bonehead.
That's obvious sh!t. A man with his affairs in order as I stated will be first to employ lawyers to get custody of kids and go scorched earth to make sure kids keep my last name, and I'll still be ever so present in their lives.

Wife goes. Kids stay with me. Shark lawyers will earn their dollars. The W would be kicked out sans kids.
Make some argument that doesn't contain stating obvious and you may get more traction in trying to detract or just naysay to throw out a word jumble. Bonehead.
 

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That's obvious sh!t. A man with his affairs in order as I stated will be first to employ lawyers to get custody of kids and go scorched earth to make sure kids keep my last name, and I'll still be ever so present in their lives.

Wife goes. Kids stay with me. Shark lawyers will earn their dollars. The W would be kicked out sans kids.
Make some argument that doesn't contain stating obvious and you may get more traction in trying to detract or just naysay to throw out a word jumble. Bonehead.
Not always in states like Florida which are VERY wife\mom friendly. Especially if it ever got out the guy was bailing due to lack of sex. I know the courts don't ask that but the guy better be sure to have never stated it previously or tried to schedule any sex therapist or anything discoverable by law in the divorce or he is going to regret it.
 

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Not always in states like Florida which are VERY wife\mom friendly. Especially if it ever got out the guy was bailing due to lack of sex. I know the courts don't ask that but the guy better be sure to have never stated it previously or tried to schedule any sex therapist or anything discoverable by law in the divorce or he is going to regret it.
Not always, and Fl is changing, a guy with means has a good chance to keep his kids, due to todays social and PC climate. The very equality/woke/awareness and immediate publicity in biased obvious circumstances have widely opened that door.
 

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Let me know how that works for you. You might want to get a little better info on how family court works. You can start with 50/50 is about the best you can hope for. The naivety is stunning. Bonehead.
My experience comes from two guys I personally know that have successfully recently been awarded full custody of their kids in horrible divorces, and two family members who are lawyers one in family law after being with State of Fl dept of family and child services for 10 years and one with the state AG office for 20 yrs.

Try again. You don't know it all. Your hubris knows no limits. Bonehead.

Now, I'm being entertained, so no hard feelings.
 

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My experience comes from two guys I personally know that have successfully recently been awarded full custody of their kids in horrible divorces, and two family members who are lawyers one in family law after being with State of Fl dept of family and child services for 10 years and one with the state AG office for 20 yrs.

Try again. You don't know it all. Your hubris knows no limits. Bonehead.

Now, I'm being entertained, so no hard feelings.
Hubris. Hubris is thinking you can beat the system because someone else did.

You should ask those 2 lawyers for some war stories about more normal outcomes.
 

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Why in the world would a guy accept no sex for weeks, months, years in a new M, or even later in a ltr M?

I truly would like to here more on this, because I cannot for the life of me understand a guy that has a good W but she's always got an excuse for no sex, which makes her a not good W.

Part two I suppose; what makes in even conceivable to a W to believe that H will be happy and ACCEPT there's no sex?
My first marriage was like that. We were both virgins when we got married. We had been brainwashed by the church and religious nutcase parents that sex before marriage was bad and divorce was against gods will. Of course when we got married these same people never told us anything about sex or what to do or how to have a good sex life in marriage. Our wedding night sucked. It consisted of me having sex with my wife (missionary position), she just lay there, and then rolling over and going to sleep. I knew no better. This was in the very early 1970's so there was no internet to teach me anything. I thought she got all the satisfaction she needed out of sex by me having sex with her. She also complained that she "hurt down there" and continued to hurt during the next week when I had sex with her. Needless to say she hated sex and rarely would allow me to do it to her. She only wanted sex when she decided she wanted another baby. After our 4th baby she told me that she never wanted to have sex ever again. That was in our 8th year of marriage. I spent the next 10 years in a sexless marriage and had to turn to masturbation and mens magazines to relieve myself. I even thought about cheating on her and man I wanted to but the brainwashing was to strong so I stayed true to what little marriage I had left. I grew to hate her and hate the marriage but due to the brainwashing I thought I was stuck with her and it.
She got depressed and gained over 400 pounds so even if she had wanted sex, I would not have touched her since seeing her naked made me want to vomit. I finally ended up in a psyche ward due to major depression and it was there I was finally deprogrammed and told her I wanted a divorce. She did not want a divorce and pitched a royal fit "because she loved me". I asked her where that love was all those years I wanted sex. I basically forced her to sign the papers and got rid of her. So that is why I accepted little to no sex for most of my marriage.
Man I wish I had divorced her at the 8 year mark. All the sex I missed out on because of the stupid church brainwashing. That is why I am now an agnostic.
 

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This is an interesting thought. I always perceived it as a lack of will to get what they need.

I'm wondering if there isn't something to this in at least some of the men.

It's thought provoking at least.
Perhaps, but I think most of the time it’s just weakness and passiveness, then maybe conditioning after a while.
 

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Let me know how that works for you. You might want to get a little better info on how family court works. You can start with 50/50 is about the best you can hope for. The naivety is stunning. Bonehead.
Well name calling will get you banned so maybe everyone should back off of that.

I'm not taking sides but he is somewhat correct.

I have a friend who had his wife cheat openly last year and I advised him and he followed my advice.

She didn't work and he made a solid six figures.

He got full custody and she is paying child support.

People who plan and act do a little better.
 
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