[alwaysforever]

heres a breif run down
1. married 2 yrs.
2.we have a pretty good sex life.4-6 times a week,hardly ever under 1hr haha. i really enjoy it.
3.every aspect in our relationship is doing very well except i feel like he never REALLY talks to me. i feel like im always poking for words when he does speak/answer its short. i guess i want him to share his thoughts/feelings with me. there are days i feel like he opens up but mostly he keeps to himself. when awhile passes i start to feel lonely,we spend tons of time together but we're just there. i want to know what hes thinking sometimes !about anything!

i tell him i mis him/feel lonely, but he dosent understand. he told me what he needed from me in the beggining and i try really hard to please him(sex,you know...)

is this just me being too needy

 

[EynaraWolf]

Maybe he just doesn't talk a lot? My H talks a lot--and I do mean a lot. Me, not so much. He says sometimes it's like trying to pull teeth to get me to talk. It's not because I don't feel emotionally connected to him, because I do. I just don't feel the need to put my thoughts out there just to say them.

 

[alwaysforever]

thats just it hes a more talkitive person than i am. im shy and self concious,but i push past it for him. but he could meet with a friend he sees everday of the week and talk for hrs upon hrs. then turn to me and draw a blank.

i mean hes prob got alot on his mind , me being 8 mnths pregnant, but so do i ! im still tryin to always have our relationship be #1.

 

[EynaraWolf]

Does he talk to them about his emotions and feelings? Or he is talking to them about work? What does he talk to them about for hours and hours? Did he have trouble talking to you about his emotions and feeling before you got pregnant?

 

[tm84]

It's probably a difference in how he communicates. My wife is more of the talker than I am. She'll tell me about things that have happened to her during the day in great detail, setting the scene up and giving me the whole run-down about how this or that incident occured:

Me: "How was your day?"
Her: "Well, when I got on the subway this morning, there was this guy sitting on one of the seats opposite me. He couldn't have been more than 40 and had this book..."

I'm not as descriptive about things and will give her pretty short, succinct answers. For example:

her-"How was your day?"
me- "It was: good/tiring/ok/, etc...nothing major happened..."

For me to have more to say, there would have had to have been a BIG thing going on, otherwise, I don't usually have a lot to say. However, later, I might remember something that caught my interest or whatever, but usually I'm one for short answers to most questions.

Maybe in your case, you might need to ask questions that are very specific. Instead of saying "how was your day", which can encompass a lot of territory, maybe just ask him what he ate for lunch or something like that. Some people are just naturally not used to talking a whole lot.
Maybe he has a hard time expressing the types of feelings that you're looking for.

How else does he show you affection, besides conversation? Maybe he's more of a "doer" than talker...

 

[2ntnuf]

My ex thought that talking about things meant she was complaining. She was taught not to complain. I thought talking to me wasn't complaining, it was sharing her life. She did talk to her friends and family but, not with me. I talked with her about my life. She told me I was a complainer. Maybe you should stop sharing with him? Go talk to your friends and family and leave him out of it or get him into counseling with you?

 

[husband2008]

I think for most men, to talk is to ask for help. Most men will only talk about something...anything...if they feel like it is a problem that they can't handle on their own. By not talking about things, it may be his way of saying, "everything is great, and what isn't I would rather handle myself in my own way." Making him say more may come across as you telling him he can't solve his own problems, making him feel belittled.

 

[alwaysforever]

thank you all for your imput. its all clicking for me now to tm84 he shows me affection often. hand holding/hand on knee, hugs (even tho sometimes he pretends to hump me im the middle of some lol) thinking of it now i guess im just thinking to hard on it. if i feel lonely i should just grab him and take him all for myself. thanks