Why Not Sub It Out

You can.. it's called divorce.

The OP has no idea what he's in for. Welcome to TAM, the last refuge of realistic people of reason!

I'd like to hear about you bringing this up to your wife as long as you promise to share the details with us.

Ummm.... eww. i was on the patio of this greek place that's next to this massage parlor . my friend and i watched guy after guy go into this place. the windows were blacked out behind their neon lights. each time we saw a guy go in we did the high school girl "ewwwww!"... then this old guy came out, sat close to us on the patio and lit a cigarette. i started involuntarily gagging and my friend spit up her drink all over and we both started choking/laughing.

do you really wanna be one of those guys?
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Because that is called prostitution. And is illegal in most states. And you run into a lot of problems with that. Like, sexually transmitted disease, jealous, potential pregnancy, want me to go on?

nandosbella said:

then this old guy came out, sat close to us on the patio and lit a cigarette. i started involuntarily gagging and my friend spit up her drink all over and we both started choking/laughing. [/size]

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Sometimes I envy old guys with nothing to lose. It's unfortunate that most of us wait until it's too late to realize that we only live once.

If sex is important to you...why are you married to someone who hates sex?

:scratchhead:

"a. You should have seen it coming. b. If you didn't, get a divorce". Ahhhh... gotta love TAM.

If it is an official open marriage which you both agree to, go ahead. D and finding a better life partner might be more rewarding in the long run for most people including me. But some people do make the open marriage thing work.

Gaming,
It sounds like you are looking for some type of public support or approval to build up your courage to suggest this to your wife.

Are you ok with your wife flipping out and divorcing you over this?

If you are, it is less likely that she will. It is kind of hard for her to say: I know I vowed to love you, but I actually demand that you remain celibate.

This is the:
Love vow - broken
Forsaking all other vows - vigorously enforced

If your sexual needs are being met by another woman, why not delegate all wifely duties to her? What's the point of supporting a roommate?

Why don't you get divorced?

People understand divorcing because you never get sex. I wouldn't look down on it, and I doubt many people would. If you don't feel loved, then you find someone else who will make you feel loved.

Gaming, jokes aside, it's up to you to calibrate your ethical compass. There is a slim chance that a contributor might come along to this thread whose background and experience lends credibility and whose words strike a chord with you to swing the needle. But the determination is ultimately yours.

unbelievable said:

What's the point of supporting a roommate?

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Not all roommates are created equal. Some might be parents of the same children and/or simply best friends and partners over an entire lifetime.

Hey, if you can find a wife who agrees with you, you've got it made. Go for it.

If you're talking about NOT telling your wife, well, that's a whole nother can of worms and I think you know it isn't one you want to open.

Sex is part of the bargain when you marry someone. If they aren't fulfilling your needs, you have every right to divorce them, but no right to cheat on them.

Gaming Your Wife said:

Ever wonder why it would not work to just have someone else take care of your sexual needs instead of having to play the game. At our house if a pipe breaks we call a plumber,If we need a carpenter we call,If carpets are dirty we call a cleaner.So If my wife hates sex so much and is so bad at it.Why can't we just sub it out.Then she is off the hook.I'am happy. We all get along.And its no longer a problem?

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Playing what game? Marriage is not a game.

Just to be clear the sub process needs up front communication.

Because any plumber can fix a pipe, but husbands should want their wives to clean their pipes.

You have to play the game no matter what direction you go.

If you can't win it on your home field, you won't win while playing on the road.

Better to fix the problems with the team, or make some trades, before you get caught in a squeeze play.