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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been on TAM for a brief period and I've notice that the Infidelity Section has the second largest amount of viewers (Sex being the most.)

How come the other threads that don't have to deal with cheating or sex aren't as popular?

Wouldn't it be proactive to spend lots of time nurturing healthy marriages than figuring out what to do once the marriage gets in trouble?
 

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Well, a lot of the viewers are people searching the internet looking for help because their spouse is cheating.

They find this site and start reading, looking for a story that may fight theirs.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Well, a lot of the viewers are people searching the internet looking for help because their spouse is cheating.

They find this site and start reading, looking for a story that may fight theirs.
It makes sense. I didn't join this site for that reason. I'm lucky in the sense cheating isn't one of the issues in my marriage.

There's other issues but that isn't one of them. I just want to figure out ways how not to let my emotional issues ruin my marriage.
 

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Amy,
Please see your doctor soonest. If you stopped all your meds without your doctor's advice, you are asking for trouble. My STBXW is very likely BPD as well. I know from experience. Your next "medicine" will be alcohol, drugs, or other men. With BPD if infidelity isn't a problem in your relationship, it may very well become one. Please get yourself into some form of therapy ASAP.
 

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Don't stop therapy. At all. I can see going off the meds, but dont' stop therapy. Find someone who treats personality disorders.
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Amy,
Please see your doctor soonest. If you stopped all your meds without your doctor's advice, you are asking for trouble. My STBXW is very likely BPD as well. I know from experience. Your next "medicine" will be alcohol, drugs, or other men. With BPD if infidelity isn't a problem in your relationship, it may very well become one. Please get yourself into some form of therapy ASAP.
No worries. I withdrew from the medication slowly and under the guidance of my psychiatrist.

I've been meditating and that has helped. Exercise helps. But one Thanksgiving Day dinner with my mom has set me back a bit.
 

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Triggers.

Get back into therapy and learn how to deal with the triggers.
 

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I've been on TAM for a brief period and I've notice that the Infidelity Section has the second largest amount of viewers (Sex being the most.)

How come the other threads that don't have to deal with cheating or sex aren't as popular?

Wouldn't it be proactive to spend lots of time nurturing healthy marriages than figuring out what to do once the marriage gets in trouble?
I would imagine that those are probably two of biggest issues people have when coming here. For myself, I was already working and overcame most of my major issues regarding sex before I found this site, but still like to read and learn from others when possible. I read all areas of the forum but only reply to the things I've experienced.

Of course it would be proactive to nurture a healthy marriage instead of when a marriage gets into trouble but life happens and many end up here for a variety of reasons
 

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How did you think TAM would help?
Are you looking for more understanding about your clinical conditions and there management?
Are you looking to gain more understanding on how these conditions impact your husband and relationship?
Are you looking for a way to vent all the chaos and frustration these conditions cause for you and all the internal turmoil?

Maybe if you know what it is you are seeking and why, you will find the appropriate Sections and Threads.
 

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The answer to the original question is in trying to deal with infidelity it helps to discuss it with people who have gone through it. Talking about it with friends and family can be difficult as they have a relationship with your spouse as well. Not to mention if they haven't gone through it they can spout off all kinds of advice much of which has no basis in reality. Sometimes the only person who understands is someone who has experienced it themselves.
 

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Just a sign of the times we live I believe.

We live in a very sexed up world... turn on the TV or the computer, pic up a magazine, look up in the city and see a billboard.

Sexy and beautiful perfect bodies are everywhere...

Easy for (some) folk to think there is something better or that there getting short changed.
 

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I've been on TAM for a brief period and I've notice that the Infidelity Section has the second largest amount of viewers (Sex being the most.)

How come the other threads that don't have to deal with cheating or sex aren't as popular?

Wouldn't it be proactive to spend lots of time nurturing healthy marriages than figuring out what to do once the marriage gets in trouble?
I wondered the same thing when I started. Because I didn't find this board due to any negative issues in my marriage, I initially thought TAM was a great forum to talk about marriage, love, and relationships in general; a great sounding board for all aspects of marriage, including the positive.

It didn't take long to realize that the majority of the posts here are about people who mostly have very serious, very painful problems with their marriage, infidelity being chief amongst them. I learned that the easiest way to get a thread pushed to the bottom of a page is to make a positive, pro-marriage or pro-spouse thread. Those attract almost no attention.
 

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Possibly because a large percentage of people on TAM are dealing with this very issue, OP.
 

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Well I can honestly say I wish I would have never had the need for it.
 
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