She loves him. That’s why.
The family is already messes up, he is in it. If you are not willing to let that woman know the farce of a marriage she is in, to me makes you culpable in him and your wife's adultry. If you are willing to not step up and do the right thing by informing the woman about her situation, you do not deserve to know the info you want.Truthfully I don’t know why I haven’t over than I am not sure I want to mess that family up to.
I went back to find where OP said he checked out of his marriage for 8 months and met with his AP 8 times. Still missed it.I understand that my attention span and compression level are on par with a 10 year old but it would do a lot of people some good to actually read (and reread) what has been written….before posting.
It's possible that she is not telling you anything, because she has you right where she wants you and you can't do anything about it because she did what you did.To start I had an affair. Then I found out that when I had mine she went and had one. Where I came clean about all and everything she still has not. She does not want to discuss it with me. I don't understand why my wife is defensive or protective of her affair partner and his family. She seems to put them and what would happen to them over us and me.
I also know she has talked with two of her female friends and one guy friend that is older and told them about her affair and mine. She wont even admit she told them when I said something after one of the women and the guy at different times slipped up about it and let info out. I just do not understand why she wont talk to me and tell me the truth when I tell her what I know about her affair and the little I know they know.
Any advice to help my racing mind
This is post #21.We meet 8 times and always in a public place. I think I was very naive to what was happening. She did not like the meeting in public after awhile. That was when I finally started putting things together that it was going a different direction at least for her.
You are taking him at his word. He sounds just like a cheater that’s minimizing. It was cheating because he felt the need to keep it secret. I don’t believe a word.This is post #21.
The OW wanted to start meeting somewhere else that wasn’t so public. She pushed to actually start an affair. OP backed off quickly and never met up again. I am guessing he doesn’t even talk with her anymore.
From what I have read, his wife went out and started having sex with a mutual friend that is also married. She is the one that cheated.
I’ll tell you something though, this story sounds so complicated and “oh by the way this happened” that it reminds me exactly what having a conversation is like when that person is trickle truthing and gaslighting. If you think this is confusing, try having a conversation like this in person.But in post 19, Snowbum was already responding to the information. Perhaps there are other posts in other forums that people are reading simultaneously?
Not complicated at all. Wife's dad passed just before his did. They were both grieving. He started on a bereavement site for people who lost a parent or some such. Like an alcoholic going to AA. He made friends with a woman there who had lost someone. When they were down, they would meet and talk about it.I’ll tell you something though, this story sounds so complicated and “oh by the way this happened” that it reminds me exactly what having a conversation is like when that person is trickle truthing and gaslighting. If you think this is confusing, try having a conversation like this in person.
“I did this, but it wasn’t that big of deal. We are just friends. I never touched her. I was tricked. It wasn’t me doing it. I swear I didn’t touch her. I only met her 8 times. It was an affair. No it was an EA. No it was a friendship. What you did is worse.”
This is cheater talk people!!!