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Why is my wife protecting the affair partner?

8237 Views 101 Replies 37 Participants Last post by  Hopeful Cynic
To start I had an affair. Then I found out that when I had mine she went and had one. Where I came clean about all and everything she still has not. She does not want to discuss it with me. I don't understand why my wife is defensive or protective of her affair partner and his family. She seems to put them and what would happen to them over us and me.

I also know she has talked with two of her female friends and one guy friend that is older and told them about her affair and mine. She wont even admit she told them when I said something after one of the women and the guy at different times slipped up about it and let info out. I just do not understand why she wont talk to me and tell me the truth when I tell her what I know about her affair and the little I know they know.

Any advice to help my racing mind
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Was your wife's affair physical?

Your situation barely sounds like an affair. You got too close, realized it and ended it. Maybe technically an EA but not by much. What was hers like?

It sounds like more was going on with her and that is why she does not want to tell you. Or that it was with someone you know.
I think we would be threadjacking to not move this specific part to another thread I will do so soon.

He himself also admits it was an affair, every woman as a spouse I know of would absolutely consider this cheating, and many WORSE than having sex with her. Just keep that in mind. He KNOWS he betrayed his wife. And she knows she betrayed him. Marriage is done.
Your last sentence is an enormous assumption. D may happen, but so may R. People have gotten through much worse than this; the future belongs in their hands and fate isn't written quite yet.
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