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Unless you have reason to believe that something has happened with your brothers dog or at your brother's house, then I'd let it go.

Do not force the dog on her or dismiss how she's feeling.

A 250lb dog is HUGE and you said in another post that your daughter is small for her age. An average 4 year old is only 40lbs.

That'd be like you being introduced to someone's pet lion. Would "but he's friendly and just a big kitty!!" make you feel safer?
 

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How much does your daughter weigh? Probably around 40 pounds.That dog is 6x her size.

Now remember that dogs sense energy. The dog knows she is afraid but doesn't understand why she is projecting negative energy. So the dog interprets that as danger & he reacts to what he is afraid of & they spiral out of control. Eventually this dog will hurt your child.

Forget the psychology of it. Just protect your kid. Be her parent, her source of safety,
 

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Everyone in my family love dogs. But when we go over to my brothers house, my four year old little girl gets scared out of her mind. My brother has a 260 pound English mastiff, the dog is really sweet. But for some reason my little girl doesn’t want to be anywhere near the dog. From day one, she has just been terrified of the dog, she was really hesitant to meet the dog the first time, she did it. But then I noticed that she was afraid.

why is this? We have a border collie at home and they get along and play together just fine. When my brothers dog starts barking or stands up, or just walks near her, my daughter will run to me wanting to be picked up. She doesn’t even want to be in the same room as the dog, even when I’m holding her In my arms, she doesn’t want me to go anywhere near him.

of course I respect my daughter and I make sure she feels safe. But why is she like this?

My brothers dog has done nothing wrong. Why is she acting so scared of him? Like I said we have a border collie at home and they play together. Is she just pretending to be scared for attention 😀 ? What’s up?
So I googled 260 pound English Mastiff...

Dog Dog breed Vertebrate Carnivore Mammal


Maybe because he can swallow her whole? :unsure:
 

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Everyone in my family love dogs. But when we go over to my brothers house, my four year old little girl gets scared out of her mind. My brother has a 260 pound English mastiff, the dog is really sweet. But for some reason my little girl doesn’t want to be anywhere near the dog. From day one, she has just been terrified of the dog, she was really hesitant to meet the dog the first time, she did it. But then I noticed that she was afraid.

...What’s up?
Have you asked her?
 

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One of my children was afraid of dogs as a small child. We adopted a rescue dog a few years later and she adored her. She loves dogs more than the other two now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
Everyone in my family love dogs. But when we go over to my brothers house, my four year old little girl gets scared out of her mind. My brother has a 260 pound English mastiff, the dog is really sweet. But for some reason my little girl doesn’t want to be anywhere near the dog. From day one, she has just been terrified of the dog, she was really hesitant to meet the dog the first time, she did it. But then I noticed that she was afraid.

why is this? We have a border collie at home and they get along and play together just fine. When my brothers dog starts barking or stands up, or just walks near her, my daughter will run to me wanting to be picked up. She doesn’t even want to be in the same room as the dog, even when I’m holding her In my arms, she doesn’t want me to go anywhere near him.

of course I respect my daughter and I make sure she feels safe. But why is she like this?

My brothers dog has done nothing wrong. Why is she acting so scared of him? Like I said we have a border collie at home and they play together. Is she just pretending to be scared for attention 😀 ? What’s up?
Thank you everyone for your responses. I will try my best and not force anything. I appreciate you all taking the time to help me. Thank you again everyone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
I have been thinking about my post and would like to amend my comment above. The dog can hurt her. I'm not sure if you meant 160 lbs. or 260 lbs., but either way, these dogs can easily knock down a small adult, even more so a small child. That could cause a child to get hurt. Also, depending upon how well trained the dog is, they can run someone over quite easily, so you have to watch out for them. I have seen children unintentionally hurt by these dogs. It's never been serious, but it could be, if a he were to knock her down the stairs or against something.

Therefore, I wouldn't tell her that the dog won't hurt her. I would tell her that the dog is friendly, but he's a dog, and dogs don't really understand like people do. It's important to be aware of him, so she doesn't get knocked over. It's probably still going to happen though, because dogs and kids.
The English mastiff is exactly like the border collie in every way in that they are very sweet and would never ever hurt anyone. Also the border collie is a lot bigger than my little girl and has the potential to easily knock her to the ground with no effort as well, but he would never ever do that. The dogs are all super sweet.
I’m just a little confused because my daughter immediately started playing with the border collie as soon as they met, but she wanted nothing to do with the mastiff even when they were meeting each other.
 

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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
It's more than that... the OP says the dog is 260 pound English mastiff

That's bigger than most people, and it has big teeth, and very strong jaw.

I've had large dogs that were big babies.... Newfoundlander, and a Mongolian Mastiff / German Shepard mix.

But I can see why a small child would be afraid of the 260lb very powerful dog.
But it just doesn’t make sense, our border collie is bigger than her, and she isn’t hesitant whatsoever, even when they first met.
 

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The English mastiff is exactly like the border collie in every way in that they are very sweet and would never ever hurt anyone. Also the border collie is a lot bigger than my little girl and has the potential to easily knock her to the ground with no effort as well, but he would never ever do that. The dogs are all super sweet.
I’m just a little confused because my daughter immediately started playing with the border collie as soon as they met, but she wanted nothing to do with the mastiff even when they were meeting each other.
Dogs don't think like people do. A dog can be as sweet as could be and still accidently knock you over. I've been around quite a few large dogs and they can't pay attention the way a person can. They lack understanding.
 

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Discussion Starter · #36 ·
Dogs don't think like people do. A dog can be as sweet as could be and still accidently knock you over. I've been around quite a few large dogs and they can't pay attention the way a person can. They lack understanding.
My border collie can also knock her to the ground as well, The border collie and the mastiff both have the potential but she wasn’t even scared to meet collie
 

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My border collie can also knock her to the ground as well, The border collie and the mastiff both have the potential but she wasn’t even scared to meet collie
Could you post a picture of this English mastiff?
 

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The English mastiff is exactly like the border collie in every way in that they are very sweet and would never ever hurt anyone. Also the border collie is a lot bigger than my little girl and has the potential to easily knock her to the ground with no effort as well, but he would never ever do that. The dogs are all super sweet.
I’m just a little confused because my daughter immediately started playing with the border collie as soon as they met, but she wanted nothing to do with the mastiff even when they were meeting each other.
So what? Stop making excuses for a gigantic terrifying looking dog, and trying to make her like something she's afraid of. WTF.
 

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But it just doesn’t make sense, our border collie is bigger than her, and she isn’t hesitant whatsoever, even when they first met.
Border collies are tiny compared to an English Mastiff. I've had border collies; they are smaller and delicate in comparison. Plus, they have smaller, pretty faces. Their mouths are tiny compared to an English Mastiff.

Your need to respect your 4yr old daughter's concern about a dog that is many times larger than she is. You, as her father, need to support her when she has a natural reaction to danger. If you teach her to ignore the red flags that go up for her around this huge dog, you are teaching her to ignore danger... such as men who are a danger to her. Women have very good intuition; we can often pick up vibes from people and dogs that are a danger to us, and we need to respect that intuition.
 

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The English mastiff is exactly like the border collie in every way in that they are very sweet and would never ever hurt anyone. Also the border collie is a lot bigger than my little girl and has the potential to easily knock her to the ground with no effort as well, but he would never ever do that. The dogs are all super sweet.
I’m just a little confused because my daughter immediately started playing with the border collie as soon as they met, but she wanted nothing to do with the mastiff even when they were meeting each other.
and
My border collie can also knock her to the ground as well, The border collie and the mastiff both have the potential but she wasn’t even scared to meet collie
I know I am late to this, but maybe it reaches you.

I don't say the Mastiff is evil or anything, it's genetics is nothing it is responsible for, but to put in perspective of what we are talking about:

You compare a herding dog, the border collie, to a dog that descended DIRECTLY from a dog breed that was SPECIFICALLY created to MURDER opponent soldiers on the battle field, the Mastiff. The Molosser (it's precursor) was bred by the romans exclusively for attack and guard purposes.
A herd dog like your Collie was specifically bred to NOT hurt those it protects and herds.
And for the Collie your daughter is exactly that. A thing to protect because it seems to have value to his master, you.
The Collie would die to protect your daughter.

The Mastiff of your brother on the other hand - 1.000 years of war, murder and mayhem on the battlefields of Europe and Africa coursing through his veins.
Fear and the sense of pain bred out of his genetic template ages before you, your brother or this dog were even born.
And he sees that there is a small thing in the room that seem to annoy his master, your brother and you. Because he can not understand you, he just sees your reaction, you are amused and a bit annoyed. Your post tells me that. And the dog smells and feels that.

Pictures of Molosser are even memorialised at the column of Trajan in Rome. As warhounds, in packs...

THAT is the fundamental difference between the two. Genetics. Purpose. Protection and safekeeping against Murder and wholesale mayhem.

How would you react if your brother put a loaded and fireready gun on the coffeetable in reach of your daughter and leave the room? Even for a minute?

THAT is exactly what you do to your daughter. You try to convince her to play with a murder machine, because nothing happened so far. And then you will revert your attention elsewhere, just for a minute. And a minute is all it takes.
She is 4 years old, ffs

In my hometown there were 106 incidents with dogs and children in 2021 alone.
And in NOT ONE of the children came out as the winner or at least unhurt.
These dogs go in for the kill. ALWAYS. And even more scary they go for the faces of children. ALWAYS.

I had to personally witness the aftermaths of two of these 'accidents' through my job as a paramedic and counsellor.
ALL of these were commited by dog breeds considered dangerous, by the way. No Collie or Poodle or whatever. Mastiff, Bulldog etc...
Muscle dogs. Descendants from the roman Molosser breed just like your brother's. 2 millenia of murder and mayhem bottled up in genetic code and then put in a close quarter environment with unpredictable children. What could possibly go wrong?

And you know what? ALL of the owners told me that their lovely, pretty murdermachine never ever did that before. How could they have possibly known?
Can you even begin to imagine what it means for the father in me to see these little ones bleed out there on the floor, convulsing in pain, not able to cry and scream because there is nothing left to cry from.
Can you?

And always I have to put on my compassionate costume and sooth them while my colleagues trying to piece together what is left of the victim of this oh so peaceful beast and rush them to the hospital where doctor's like my wife desperatly try to save what is not saveable.

I do this job for nearly 3 decades now and the stories are always the same.

I am SO sick of it
Sick, because I will also be there some years upstream when these mutilated victims stand at the rails of some random bridge in the middle of the night to end the misery that should have been a wonderful journey called life.
I will be there and try to convince a boy that living without a proper face is worth it shortly after some random girl told him to screw off, she wants nothing to do with a freak like him.
I am SO sick of it.
I will be there and try to convince a girl that living without half a ribcage and a missing breast at an age where you are Self-consciousness to the n-th degree is fine and worth it even when the boys make fun of "one-tiddie".
I am SO sick of it.
I will be there when their parents or relatives come to the stark realisation that I am up there because of THEM. THEY are the reason for me standing at this rail holding a wreck that should have been a spiritful young person in my arms while my colleagues prepare for the drop that hopefully never comes.

But not now. Not this time.
Because your daughter is still fine and you are... I don't know.
Your starting post asks why she is like this. Seriously? Are you ****ing serious? If you are:

Go on your knees. Go down to the place where the head of your daughter is. And then look up to the mastiff when he stands there. Right in front of you, 250 pounds of flesh and teeth breathing into your face with spit drops landing all over you.
And now try to imagine that you are not a 100 kg human male with a mind and muscle set to kill an attacking predator with bare hands but a 40 kg human female with the body of a child. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
And then ask again why she is ACTING afraid. She is NOT acting, you... argh... 😡💢

There is only one thing you can do: Separate your daughter from that godforsaken dog. Completely, no questions asked. No whys and ifs.
Not you nor your brother will be able to defend her when the attack will eventually come, because the predator sensed the fear of it's prey one time too often.

And then she will stand up there one day with a guy or girl like me trying to convince her that there is more to live for even with these horrific scars.
And you will have to come to the conclusion that YOU are the reason for it. Not the dog, YOU.
So never, ever even think again that she is afraid of a monster 6 times her size and with fangs longer than medieval daggers just 'for attention'.
Help her.
Then one day it will not be her name in the news. Because were there for her in the hour of need. You can look back with pride instead with shame and dread to this day.
Because you are a father who protects his daughter from the monster in the closet instead asking on the internet if she is acting for attention in the presence of a monster. And she love you even more for it because that is what she sees - a monster.

Please, I know my rant is unfair and hurtful. But these kind of living, breathing relics of ancient warfare have no business whatsoever around little children.
 
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