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Why do you feel that chemistry is more descriptive than compatibility?

I associate chemistry with subjectiveness. It's all very wishy washy. Whereas compatibility is kind of objective. Two people either are compatible or they are not.

I think chemistry gets someone to agree to sex. I think compatibility is what keeps them coming back for more.
Chemistry is the basis for sexual compatibility. Without the chemistry, someone ain't getting any. At least, not for long.


General compatibility, obviously, requires a whole smatter of other likes/dislikes.

Being generous, I concede that you win, 75% of this debate.
I take whatever you concede, back my way.

Any leftover battle-able can be saved for the next relationship topic.



The Typist I-
 

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We dated for 10 months... so probably 100xs.
I have to ask, I must.

Are you trying to take @StarFires place?

With you trying to gain favor with all the horn toads on this Blog! ?

Starfires took her role, her title, seriously, too slurpy, methinks.

(Likely) few men here have any issues with this candor of yours.


The Typist I-
 
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We dated for 10 months... so probably 100xs.
I have to ask, I must.

Are you trying to take @StarFires place?

With you trying to gain favor with all the horn toads on this Blog! ?

Starfires took her role, her title, seriously, too slurpy, methinks.

(Likely) few men here have any issues with this candor of yours.


The Typist I-
Twice a week is hardly bragging while dating. Twice a week while married? Now I have a bridge to sell you.
 

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Chemistry is the basis for sexual compatibility. Without the chemistry, someone ain't getting any. At least, not for long.


General compatibility, obviously, requires a whole smatter of other likes/dislikes.

Being generous, I concede that you win, 75% of this debate.
I take whatever you concede, back my way.

Any leftover battle-able can be saved for the next relationship topic.



The Typist I-
Lol. Wasn't trying to debate. I genuinely wanted to know why you felt chemistry was a better word and explained why I used compatibility.
 

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Chemistry definitely can't hurt but I don't think it helps with compatibility.

I have gone on dates where I felt amazing chemistry with the guy (laughing, flirting, touching). Unfortunately, we were no where near on the same page sexually speaking. Although they were sexy and fun, I didn't have sex with any of them. Just discussing our likes/dislikes and kissing/heavy petting told me everything I needed to know.
I get it now. I was thinking along other lines.:smile2:
 

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That aren't commenting on her. They are commenting on him.
Truth be told I was commenting on both of them and not on their appearance. They are both willing to be in a completely shallow relationship and sell their souls to the devil for money or appearance sake. Yuck, just yuck.

She comes off like a ***** to me and he comes off like a dirty old man. Blech.
 

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Truth be told I was commenting on both of them and not on their appearance. They are both willing to be in a completely shallow relationship and sell their souls to the devil for money or appearance sake. Yuck, just yuck.



She comes off like a ***** to me and he comes off like a dirty old man. Blech.


She comes off like a what? A loose women? And that grosses you out? Yet millions of people watch porn and don’t think anything of it.
 

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She comes off like a what? A loose women? And that grosses you out? Yet millions of people watch porn and don’t think anything of it.
And the wheels on the bus go round and round...

then fall off :D
 

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I don't want to be constantly looked at for come kind of response. I'm not saying that I don't respond but I'd rather have the guy just focus on his own needs and not be focused on mine. If he's focused on mine, he'll be constantly looking at, interpreting, analyzing my response and feedback to everything.
There's a Star Trek line that might be appropriate here.

What you want is irrelevant. What you have chosen is at hand.

When we marry, if you can't compromise and, especially in sex, offer your partner something that they are looking for, you're not going to have a healthy sex life. And vice versa, of course. In your case, your husband may be looking for cues that would allow him to be the sexual person he might actually want to be. You may be making assumptions about his adventurousness (or lack thereof) that stem from you being relatively emotionless (I say "relatively" not completely) during sex.

You actually have an opportunity here. You can work on something that you shared with no other man before. That's could be a big thing for you maybe? And then it becomes... why you did this with your husband and not any of the guys before. Turn this thread upside-down.
 

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Could someone patient please let me know what "Normal Sex " is, and whether that implies that there is also abnormal sex?
Thanks
 

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Could someone patient please let me know what "Normal Sex " is, and whether that implies that there is also abnormal sex?
Thanks
Nope. There is normal sex and then there is great, mind blowing, freaky, walls completely down, girlfriend sex. If you have to ask, you’re probably having normal sex, durning a normal time of the day, the normal number of times per month, etc.
 

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There's a Star Trek line that might be appropriate here.

What you want is irrelevant. What you have chosen is at hand.

When we marry, if you can't compromise and, especially in sex, offer your partner something that they are looking for, you're not going to have a healthy sex life. And vice versa, of course. In your case, your husband may be looking for cues that would allow him to be the sexual person he might actually want to be. You may be making assumptions about his adventurousness (or lack thereof) that stem from you being relatively emotionless (I say "relatively" not completely) during sex.

You actually have an opportunity here. You can work on something that you shared with no other man before. That's could be a big thing for you maybe? And then it becomes... why you did this with your husband and not any of the guys before. Turn this thread upside-down.
I'm a Star Trek nerd so how appropriate! This response is not just for this post but for others too.

This is complicated and very hard to explain accurately. I'm afraid everyone is just interpreting this as that I am emotionless (even though you say relatively and not completely). It's not just a spectrum of no emotion and lots of emotion. I have A LOT of emotion when I have sex (with my husband now and other partners before him). All kinds of emotions. I'm quiet and introverted so I focus on perceiving and feeling more than many other people. I notice things and feel things that others may not. Some people just constantly radiate their thoughts, emotions, feelings, etc outward but they don't receive. I "receive" acutely and things impact me more than other people. With extroverts, sometimes their constantly radiating outward channel is at the expense of the inward channel (perceiving, processing, feeling, etc). I'm a very sensitive person. So having sexual intercourse is a huge thing for me, even when i was promiscuous. I'm not like some emotionally numb person!

I have a different way of showing emotion and feelings. I'm quiet. I'm subtle. Most guys that i've had casual sex with and boyfriends were incapable of perceiving my feelings or emotions or what was going on in my head. That's OK. I don't want them analyzing me anyway. To use a simplistic and dumb example, I'm not going to be shouting "I'm cumming". Sorry that's just not me. I'm going to clench my fingers tightly around whatever is closest and close my eyes and go into my private world of my own. You can say that there is nothing better than "sharing" your orgasm but what if I don't want to? Again, that's just a dumb example to make the point that I don't care to be "expressive" like that.

Sex is very "invasive" especially for me as a sensitive woman. You are sharing (or giving away) a lot of yourself. I was usually open to do whatever physically but being expressive with it all and opening up emotionally or talking about it, or describing what I like and want, etc is not what I want to do. I want to protect that and keep it to myself To those who say that I should be opening up and being expressive, I'd ask why I can't just share what i want and keep what i want to myself? If I was saying that I didn't want to do something physical like sucking on it or whatever, everyone would be in total agreement that I just shouldn't do it if I didn't want to open up to that physical act. Nobody probably would be trying to convince me that it would be better if I did it. We've grown to recognize that physical boundaries should be respected 100% but what about emotional boundaries or boundaries around different non-physical (emotional, etc) aspects of sex you want to open up to or share?
 
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