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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just sent my final from-the-heart email (our only way of communicating since D-Day, story here) to my WS, and I explained a bit of what is below directly to her.

It occurred to me today why I was having such a hard time following the 180 in regards to reaching out to her. Every other aspect has been great; I've been focusing on me, addressing the things I don't like about myself etc. and it has helped tremendously. The thing is, the no contact and ignoring her just did not sit well with me.

If you really want your WS back, definitely follow the 180 to a T. Personally, I have always lived by the philosophy to do things in accordance with your beliefs or not at all.

I see the 180 as a strategy to get your sh*t together for yourself, as well as a tactic to *maybe* manipulate the situation to get your spouse back.

I consciously made the choice to speak from my heart and NOT follow any of this advice, instead doing everything that was inadvisable. The letters, texts, emails, phone calls etc. Have all done exactly what they said it would do - make me lose her for good.

I chose to do this because I genuinely believed my wife was enlightened, intelligent and nothing like the typical woman. The only way I could have felt right with moving forward with reconciliation was if she proved me right in this regard.

I was wrong.

You know what, though? I am glad I did it. If I followed the 180 to a T and got her back, I don't think I would have ultimately been as happy with her for the rest of my life as I once would have been.

Anyway, just my two cents. It's all about what you're willing to live with, I suppose.
 

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No one "chooses" to ignore the 180. The 180 may choose to ignore you, but you cannot ignore it. Hence the seemingly mysterious disappearance of your post...
 
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LOL at all these...

Alright, post your story again, as it may prove helpful to someone that is in denial. (I'm assuming the mods didn't delete this original post)

We can wait.
 

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Was it your original/first post that disappeared?
 

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You know what, though? I am glad I did it. If I followed the 180 to a T and got her back, I don't think I would have ultimately been as happy with her for the rest of my life as I once would have been.

Anyway, just my two cents. It's all about what you're willing to live with, I suppose.
I'm sorry, but the 180 is a self empowerment tool. It helps you improve yourself and helps you with your codependency issues. It is NOT a tool for you to manipulate her into coming back. That is where you misunderstand it. It is to help you gain the strength to move on, with OR without her.
 
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