I see a lot of advice on this board that the WS should tell the BS EVERYTHING. I just don't understand.
That doesn't sound healthy to me. If you have learned that your spouse cheated how is hearing every dirty detail of every sex act they committed with the AP including, when, where, & how often, whether their were orgasms, & what positions going to help?
IMO that level of detail only sets up the sickest porn movie in the BS's mind & makes everything worse because it can't be shut off. It would just play on an endless hurtful loop.
There has to be some sort of full disclosure that is not quite that much detail. What is the point of telling everything? That seems more like rubbing salt in the wounds, especially if like in a recent thread the married couple had been each other's 1sts and only but now the BS did things with her AP she hasn't done with DH. How the <bleep> does sharing those gory details with him help him heel? It seems like it would just make him feel worse.
I really don't get it (& I hope I never have to find out 1st hand) but if somebody could enlighten me & maybe others who are trying to find a path forward, that would be appreciated.
That doesn't sound healthy to me. If you have learned that your spouse cheated how is hearing every dirty detail of every sex act they committed with the AP including, when, where, & how often, whether their were orgasms, & what positions going to help?
IMO that level of detail only sets up the sickest porn movie in the BS's mind & makes everything worse because it can't be shut off. It would just play on an endless hurtful loop.
There has to be some sort of full disclosure that is not quite that much detail. What is the point of telling everything? That seems more like rubbing salt in the wounds, especially if like in a recent thread the married couple had been each other's 1sts and only but now the BS did things with her AP she hasn't done with DH. How the <bleep> does sharing those gory details with him help him heel? It seems like it would just make him feel worse.
I really don't get it (& I hope I never have to find out 1st hand) but if somebody could enlighten me & maybe others who are trying to find a path forward, that would be appreciated.