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She's not earning anything. She's depleting savings to pay for those current things. There's a huge difference between earning, and depleting savings, and that has a huge effect on the future.
 

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She's not earning anything. She's depleting savings to pay for those current things. There's a huge difference between earning, and depleting savings, and that has a huge effect on the future.
She is using her savings from before the marriage to try earning in a way that hasn't paid out but she isn't just gambling it away and she is still contributing.

She just isn't doing it the "correct" way.😉
 

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Well, kids today need a college education to amount to anything. I don't feel it should all fall on my shoulders to put them through college but I will if that is what I need to do to help them in life. And no, I don't know her full financial picture but it is obvious she is losing money. And yes, she does contribute financially by paying bills out of her savings but that will not last. She also contributes some with housework, etc. She's in the basement to get her attention. After SIX years of day-trading I finally lost patience.

3rd paragraph you said "he has already changed his story once during this posting." I haven't. If I did, will you please point out what story I changed?
Dude put your head on straight.

You're going nuclear and don't even know the basics. Step 0: Sit down together and get the full picture!

How do you even file taxes? If she's really a net loss and you're not filing jointly you're even screwing that easy thing up.
 

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At least she isn't using student loans to buy a degree that turns out to be worthless or will take years to recover the cost. She's using her pre-marriage savings to finance her current lifestyle. She also invested $30 grand into renovations on the house.
 

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She is using her savings from before the marriage to try earning in a way that hasn't paid out but she isn't just gambling it away and she is still contributing.

She just isn't doing it the "correct" way.😉
Day Trading is the closest thing to gambling you can do on the market. 70+% of people who try it lose money.

If she's been losing money for the last 6 years, she isn't contributing anything financially. She is draining existing savings. That's worse than nothing in fact.
 

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She's not earning anything. She's depleting savings to pay for those current things. There's a huge difference between earning, and depleting savings, and that has a huge effect on the future.
But if you have separate finances which they apparently choose to have when married you don't really get to tell someone how they pay their half of the bills.
 

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But if you have separate finances which they apparently choose to have when married you don't really get to tell someone how they pay their half of the bills.
Then they should have completely separate finances, and she shouldn't get to live for free in the house he paid for-- with his separate finances.
 

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But if you have separate finances which they apparently choose to have when married you don't really get to tell someone how they pay their half of the bills.
It still sucks for him to be married to someone who isn't earning anything and is depleting savings. He doesn't want to be married to someone with that attitude about money. He says that doesn't work for him.

Many men and many women would be upset to have a partner who was okay with not earning anything over the past 6 years doing what they are doing, and depleting savings instead.
 

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Day Trading is the closest thing to gambling you can do on the market. 70+% of people who try it lose money.

If she's been losing money for the last 6 years, she isn't contributing anything financially. She is draining existing savings. That's worse than nothing in fact.
It's her money. If she wants to throw it down a rat hole or flush it down the toilet, it's no one's business but hers. They haven't combined finances and don't even know what each other's finances are. Unless they had an agreement that at some point her savings would be considered marital property, she isn't doing anything wrong. It is no different than if those savings came from an inheritance.
 

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Then they should have completely separate finances, and she shouldn't get to live for free in the house he paid for-- with his separate finances.
They can't even do that. Regardless of how they view it, the law views them as a single entity. If she keeps up, and then accrues debt that's on him too. The only time separate finances are easier is when they divorce. There's less to separate.
 

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Then they should have completely separate finances, and she shouldn't get to live for free in the house he paid for-- with his separate finances.
She pays all utilities, food and when they eat out.

She also takes care of breakfast and lunch and is the primary care giver to the children.

She could have it all to herself if she talks to a lawyer.

You are acting like she is draining his finances and intentionally harming the family.

OP doesn't even know for sure what her finances look like.

She isn't even in trouble as far as can be determined and who says she won't work if her savings, from before marriage, get too low?

The marriage is done anyway because OP banished her. LoL!
 

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She is using her savings from before the marriage to try earning in a way that hasn't paid out but she isn't just gambling it away and she is still contributing.

She just isn't doing it the "correct" way.😉
And I think that is the crux of the problem. He's mad that she is trying to find an alternative job that doesn't put her in the 9-5 grind. He doesn't recognize what she does as a job and therefore, he thinks he can appropriate her time in whatever ways he deems worthy. She isn't doing it right.

He admits he doesn't even know her financial picture. He doesn't have an accounting of expenses or even contributions but he's sure she's doing it wrong and not paying enough.

While it maybe that she isn't paying half. Neither actually knows. This is the stupidest argument ever. It's basic math and with a separate account that they both make deposits into it would be easy to see which is true. In addition, He seems to think he can choose which optional expenses are required without some kind of conversation.

I mean we bought our child's college fund pre-paid and paid it off before she was 5. They obviously haven't decided on an amount and then set up a fund and then made contributions. It is just well we need savings.

In reality it looks like he doesn't care for her at all. He's mad he doesn't get to manage her money and doesn't accept her choice of 'jobs'. He still thinks he's so awesome for showing her a lesson and banishing her to the basement. No recognition at all how atrocious that was and how disrespectful.

He says that he wants to stay for the kids.
Kid notice. And if it doesn't register now it will later. My dad ignored my mom our whole childhood and then left in the middle of the night to be with his mistress (the latest of many whom he did marry). I mean at first when it happened as a teen I was cool. I was nice to the new step-mom. I kept in contact with my dad. I mean it was obvious they weren't happy so they probably shouldn't be together. Well then I grew up. I got married. I started to actually think about the relationship. I had to settle my mom's estate. Right after I settled my mom's estate, I kind of stopped talking to my dad. As I dealt with all the crap I realized she had put up with over the years I grew infuriated. It's been about 6 years now and I don't regret not talking with him. That childhood behavior came back to roost.

It will take much more than a job to fix this marriage. OP doesn't care, doesn't love her, doesn't respect her. I bet she is looking for a job. I would be too. It would be step 1 in a multi-step plan.
 

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It's her money. If she wants to throw it down a rat hole or flush it down the toilet, it's no one's business but hers. They haven't combined finances and don't even know what each other's finances are. Unless they had an agreement that at some point her savings would be considered marital property, she isn't doing anything wrong. It is no different than if those savings came from an inheritance.
Nope. She is doing it wrong. Unless her current saving level, and spending level can see her through to her deathbed without him having to toss her a parachute, then what she is doing is unsustainable.

By staying married to her, and not addressing it, he is stating that he is fine with it as far as the law is concerned. He is not fine with it. His choices: leave, or get her to change. His methods are in the wrong, but he only has those two bad choices.
 

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It still sucks for him to be married to someone who isn't earning anything and is depleting savings. He doesn't want to be married to someone with that attitude about money. He says that doesn't work for him.

Many men and many women would be upset to have a partner who was okay with not earning anything over the past 6 years doing what they are doing, and depleting savings instead.
Or being banished to the basement. OP doesn't even have a clear picture of her financial situation.

They aren't in trouble financially.

She is doing her projects and work with money from before even being married and has kept up with her contributions.

They aren't suffering at all, OP just doesn't like her doing things "incorrectly".
 

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She is using her savings from before the marriage to try earning in a way that hasn't paid out but she isn't just gambling it away and she is still contributing.

She just isn't doing it the "correct" way.😉
Ok then, what happens when it runs out?
 

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I never felt ashamed when I wasn’t contributing financially because my husband never made me feel ashamed.

Interestingly, I also taught myself to buy stocks years ago and do quite well. Here’s the kicker - my husband is as proud as punch and tells everyone 🤗 He takes interest in my investments, encourages me and doesn’t feel belittled by his brilliant wife 😜

There are the men, and there are the wining little pouting boys.
 

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I never felt ashamed when I wasn’t contributing financially because my husband never made me feel ashamed.

Interestingly, I also taught myself to buy stocks years ago and do quite well. Here’s the kicker - my husband is as proud as punch and tells everyone 🤗 He takes interest in my investments, encourages me and doesn’t feel belittled by his brilliant wife 😜

There are the men, and there are the wining little pouting boys.
So every man who wants to have a partner who contributes financially is a pouty little boy?

Holy ****.
 

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@Livvie but she has and IS contributing financially. I’m surprised, I wouldn’t think you’d stay with a man like this? But that’s ok I can respect your view.
 
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