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Discussion Starter #1
My husband always comes home and tells me that he went to lunch with some woman, or works out with some women or plays Soccer with some woman, what is all this about? :scratchhead:
 

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He likes to date women.

Why is your husband dating women?

He tells you because then if you get upset he can tell you that you are imagining things and he's been oh so transparent with you .
 

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That is what I thought,,he says it is all work, because they HAVE to go to luch, then he said tonight that this women, he is meeting her at a public park, just kicking the Soccer ball around, then tells me I never like to do anything he likes...:rofl:
....
 

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The minute you let him know you don't want him dating another woman, he will claim innocence. They are "just friends", then he will never mention her again. It doesn't mean he will stop those activities.

Check the cell phone records. Does he keep his phone attached to the hip?
 

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So he likes to kick around a soccer ball? There are no male friends who can kick a ball around with him? He's not playing the sport but just kicking around the ball? He's not even a good liar.

Why does he HAVE to go to lunch with women he works with?


Try putting a VAR (voice activated recorder) in his car. Use Velcro to secure it under the front seat. Most people who cheat talk to their affair partner while driving. They think it's a safe place.
 

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By the way, you need to do more investigation. Just stop talking to him about this. The more you say right now , the more he will take it underground. So just keep listening and gathering info.

Then once you have solid proof of what is going on make a plan. We can help you with your plan here. then, and only then, confront him so he has no wiggle room.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
He tells me daily n=and then tonight showed me that he taught here how ti put the soccer practice into his calender, I really thinks I am stupid..I told him him, what if I did the same thing with a guy, then he said, ha-ha you never work out or play soccer, WTF...:lol:
 

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Re: Why does my husband always bring up women at work

Ok,i will shut down, when I told him that women are not on the up and up he said what you do not trust me...why does he tell me this...I would never know if he said nothings, why does he tell me..to get a reaction?
 

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Re: Why does my husband always bring up women at work

Ok,i will shut down, when I told him that women are not on the up and up he said what you do not trust me...why does he tell me this...I would never know if he said nothings, why does he tell me..to get a reaction?
Like EleGirl said, he thinks by being transparent, he is proving innocence.

Have a moderator move this to the Coping With Infidelity board.
 

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Re: Why does my husband always bring up women at work

He tells me on a daily basis that he went to lunch with this girl, then played soccer with this girl and then went to the gym and saw this girl there and helped them all out...this really sucks! It is my fault that I do not trust him, or I say do not trust the girls...then he says you do not trust me....blah.blah! WTF
 

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How long have you been married?
Do you own your own home or do you rent? Just in case you wanted to kick him out.

Why are you allowing him to treat you this way?
Why doesn't he respect you?
 

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Re: Why does my husband always bring up women at work

It is my fault that I do not trust him,
Right. It's all your fault. :rolleyes:

Would you describe him as a strong/alpha male? If so, he's probably trying to line up some side action.

Or, is he a wimpy beta "man?" Could be that he can't relate to other men, so he prefers to be BFFs with women. Either way, that's effed up, and you need to lay down a boundary.
 

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What you have here is a husband with poor boundaries who may be at the early stages of an emotional affair. He is enjoying their company a bit too much. I expect that these lunch meetings will evolve into after work meetings. Perhaps a happy hour or something like that. The escalation of contact will lead him to be more than just friends with them. This is risky situation that should be controlled with good boundaries. Search the forum for boundaries and you will find a good bit of info on it.

How would he feel if you went to lunch with a man? My guess is that he wouldn't like it at all. If then he doesn't want you do do it why does he? You might want to look at the book Not Just Friends to learn about EAs, emotional affairs.

It sounds like his frequency of doing these things is increasing which is a problem in itself. I go to lunch and parks with coworkers but it's usually in a group not alone. Alone time with other women should be kept to a minimum. I have gone to lunch and a park with women from work but it happens at most once per year or so when everyone else can't go that would normally come along.

Everyone's question about where are the guys to kick the ball around is spot on. If he only does this with women it is about the women and not the activity. He should be doing activities in groups or with men mostly anyway.
 
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