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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
To seek out guidance, read self help books, seek opinion on how to solve marriage problems? She refuses counseling, doesn't want to read or ask others (friends, family ..."it's none of their business And I feel what I feel")

I'm tired....
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I've found that different people handle things differently. I'm like you... I used to read the books and get frustrated if my partner wouldn't.

I've come to see that some people feel as if they'd somehow lose the right to manage their own lives if they did read self-help guides. Others just don't like reading. Some of them are receptive to talking about the ideas in books, though. And then there are those who just are not going to change and nobody else's opinions and feelings matter to them because their viewpoints are the ultimate authority for them and they can't let someone else's interfere.
 

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Well, she's and avid reader and when I attempt to apply some of what I read to our issues, she claims I over analyze her.

I think she falls into the last category you mentioned. She's the ultimate authority and we are what we are and there's no changing that nor should we have to change
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That could be true. It might also be that you're wanting to thrust changes upon her. What I've concluded after going through this in heaven-knows-how-many relationships I had is that I didn't recognize incompatibility in my relationships and honor it for what it was.... a dead end road.

I have an article on compatibility on my blog that summarizes the five pillars of compatibility and incompatibility. If you're willing to read it, I'm curious how many of them are suffering in your relationship and how many are good.

5 Pillars of Compatibility (& Incompatibility)
 
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