[theonemike]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years we are deeply i love and we're in the advanced stages of our relationship because Im planning to propose.

Yesterday I decided to go out with my boy to watch a football game ''Real vs Barca'(literally the biggest football game in the world)
Instead of sitting at home by myself watching I just went down to the local bar to watch it.

Before, I got out we had a small argument about me going out too much with my friends. I just told her i'll be back in a couple of hours and left. and Boy, did i pay for this one....
I got back home and she gave me the silent treatment for about an hour and a bit and she already ordered Chinese so I had to make my own dinner, she also told me-IF YOU LOVE FOOTBALL SO MUCH, GO MARRY IT.

I decided to talk to her in a rational manner, and she co-operated and told me ''she feels lonely when i'm gone'' and she wants me closer- BUT IT WAS ONLY OR A COUPLE OF HOURS....she goes out shopping with her friends on saturdays I dont complain about being lonely.

Now im wondering is this what marriage is like. Is it a preview of whats coming when we get married. Is normal for married couples to be like this? Have you guys ever experienced this. How do you go about dealing with this

Dont get me wrong I love this woman. I would take a bullet for her and would never trade her for any other woman....
But why are women like this??
I understand it is partially my fault but where am I wrong in this

Mind you I'm 27.......

 

[This is me]

Could this be what they call a "Fitness Test"?

 

[that_girl]

Not all women do this.

But if your woman is doing it, she's telling you that she thinks you spend too much time watching football and it won't be something she'll put up with after marriage, etc.

Nip it now...either include her, or make more time for her. She's feeling neglected but for some reason, can't just come out and say it.

 

[ScarletBegonias]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years we are deeply i love and we're in the advanced stages of our relationship because Im planning to propose.

Yesterday I decided to go out with my boy to watch a football game ''Real vs Barca'(literally the biggest football game in the world)
Instead of sitting at home by myself watching I just went down to the local bar to watch it.

Before, I got out we had a small argument about me going out too much with my friends. I just told her i'll be back in a couple of hours and left. and Boy, did i pay for this one....
I got back home and she gave me the silent treatment for about an hour and a bit and she already ordered Chinese so I had to make my own dinner, she also told me-IF YOU LOVE FOOTBALL SO MUCH, GO MARRY IT.

I decided to talk to her in a rational manner, and she co-operated and told me ''she feels lonely when i'm gone'' and she wants me closer- BUT IT WAS ONLY OR A COUPLE OF HOURS....she goes out shopping with her friends on saturdays I dont complain about being lonely.

Now im wondering is this what marriage is like. Is it a preview of whats coming when we get married. Is normal for married couples to be like this? Have you guys ever experienced this. How do you go about dealing with this

Dont get me wrong I love this woman. I would take a bullet for her and would never trade her for any other woman....
But why are women like this??
I understand it is partially my fault but where am I wrong in this

Mind you I'm 27.......

First of all,it's not all women.It's your woman and a few others.

Second,I'd call it a fitness test.


or she's bored. i called her spoiled but that's probably not the case.

 

[CallaLily]

To her in may not be a SILLY argument. In her mind she probably feels its a valid point. Also she may be trying to tell you something that to you, you feel isn't a problem, it might be wise to listen. She may not have handled it the best by giving you the silent treatment, that sounds a little immature, BUT she obviously feels that way for a reason.

 

[WyshIknew]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years we are deeply i love and we're in the advanced stages of our relationship because Im planning to propose.

Yesterday I decided to go out with my boy to watch a football game ''Real vs Barca'(literally the biggest football game in the world)
Instead of sitting at home by myself watching I just went down to the local bar to watch it.

Before, I got out we had a small argument about me going out too much with my friends. I just told her i'll be back in a couple of hours and left. and Boy, did i pay for this one....
I got back home and she gave me the silent treatment for about an hour and a bit and she already ordered Chinese so I had to make my own dinner, she also told me-IF YOU LOVE FOOTBALL SO MUCH, GO MARRY IT.

I decided to talk to her in a rational manner, and she co-operated and told me ''she feels lonely when i'm gone'' and she wants me closer- BUT IT WAS ONLY OR A COUPLE OF HOURS....she goes out shopping with her friends on saturdays I dont complain about being lonely.

Now im wondering is this what marriage is like. Is it a preview of whats coming when we get married. Is normal for married couples to be like this? Have you guys ever experienced this. How do you go about dealing with this

Dont get me wrong I love this woman. I would take a bullet for her and would never trade her for any other woman....
But why are women like this??
I understand it is partially my fault but where am I wrong in this

Mind you I'm 27.......

No thats not what marriage is like. I went on a weekend long fishing competition this weekend just gone. And next week starting on the thirteenth I am away on a small island called Herm for a week with my (male) friends. We hire a holiday cottage and go fishing and drinking.
Wife knows it is my man time. She has her woman time. As much as you love each other you both need some you time.

 

[MEM2020]

Mike,
Does she go out with her friends about the same amount that you go out with yours?

Here's the deal, you need to reach some level of accommodation on this issue. It is perfectly fine for your W to want you to spend a good amount of time with her.

It is NOT ok for your W to try to prevent you from going out because she isn't capable of entertaining herself. If you both go out with friends about the same amount, you better firmly explain that reciprocity and respect are both required for a healthy marriage.

If you were doing this to her, everyone would be screaming from the roof tops about how "controlling" you are.

That said, if you are going out a lot, and she rarely goes out, you are going to have to find a compromise.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years we are deeply i love and we're in the advanced stages of our relationship because Im planning to propose.

Yesterday I decided to go out with my boy to watch a football game ''Real vs Barca'(literally the biggest football game in the world)
Instead of sitting at home by myself watching I just went down to the local bar to watch it.

Before, I got out we had a small argument about me going out too much with my friends. I just told her i'll be back in a couple of hours and left. and Boy, did i pay for this one....
I got back home and she gave me the silent treatment for about an hour and a bit and she already ordered Chinese so I had to make my own dinner, she also told me-IF YOU LOVE FOOTBALL SO MUCH, GO MARRY IT.

I decided to talk to her in a rational manner, and she co-operated and told me ''she feels lonely when i'm gone'' and she wants me closer- BUT IT WAS ONLY OR A COUPLE OF HOURS....she goes out shopping with her friends on saturdays I dont complain about being lonely.

Now im wondering is this what marriage is like. Is it a preview of whats coming when we get married. Is normal for married couples to be like this? Have you guys ever experienced this. How do you go about dealing with this

Dont get me wrong I love this woman. I would take a bullet for her and would never trade her for any other woman....
But why are women like this??
I understand it is partially my fault but where am I wrong in this

Mind you I'm 27.......

 

[unbelievable]

It's not that you are apart. She goes shopping and the world doesn't end, as you pointed out. It's that there is some tiny aspect of your life beyond her control; that you would dare to go against her wishes. No American princess can tolerate not being consistently adored, obeyed, and catered to. Either you get her head pulled out of her backside or this is what marriage will look like.

 

[827Aug]

That's easy..... The same reason men always try to start silly arguments. Silly arguments aren't exclusive to either sex.

 

[heavensangel]

Yesterday I decided to go out with my boy to watch a football game ''Real vs Barca'(literally the biggest football game in the world)
Instead of sitting at home by myself watching I just went down to the local bar to watch it.


Have to ask as you don't mention it........ Was it even an option for her to go to the BAR and watch the game with you? Or for that matter, couldn't you have watched it at home with her? May sound strange to some but for a woman, I LOVE football. I'll watch games no matter who's playing. Hubby and I watch football all the time. We make a day/night out of it complete with beer and/or popcorn.

You are wrong in that you went ahead with your plans even after she expressed how she felt about it. Was she totally right? Maybe not. If a woman feels 'unheard' or that her feelings don't matter (this is what you said when you did it anyway) it's going to come out in how they respond.

Yes, this can happen if the 'dating' stops in the relationship, married or not. How often do you two 'date' each other? Make special plans for each other?

 

[Runs like Dog]

Dov Davidoff - Love Drug

NSFW audio

 

[Toshiba2020]

Sounds like its time for a good talk, its important to outline a need for space and time outside of your relationship (and future marriage). if you spend every waking second with your spouse you will go crazy, its completely health to go out with friends for a guys night out (or girls night for her). It shows a level of trust and allows you to come back with something to talk about.

With that being said, keep in mind you shouldnt be going out with the guys EVERY night. Also, you should try to invite her, a guys night out is ok but if there are other girls there she should be hanging out as well. You can also text her when youre out, it only takes like 10 seconds and its a way of saying "youre not here but im still thinking about you"

On a side note limit the amount of alcohol you consume. if you come home after being out at the bar and are crazy drunk, her having to deal with a drunk boyfriend late and night when shes tired wont end well.

 

[Holland]

But why are women like this??

Very unfair call, no not all women are like this.

The others have given some good advice, I hope you get it sorted. But please don't make such huge generalisations about women.

 

[Sbrown]

DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMEN!
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[bfree]

I find it very funny when women say NAWALT (not all women are like that) because when they say that it usually means that all women ARE like that.

All women fitness test and they should! How else can they be sure their mate is of high enough quality for them to be with? Not all women fitness test at the same frequency or to the same levels but all women fitness test. Its a biological imperative stemming from their need to make sure their mate can protect them...even from themselves!

OP, this was definitely a fitness test. That does not mean however that your GF does not have a valid concern. Like others have said, if she goes out without you at the same frequency and duration that you go out, just ignore it or amplify it to show how ludicrous her complaint is. By no means give in or argue with her. If she doesn't get out as often as you then discuss it and negotiate acceptable terms on when each of you should be able to spend time away from each other. Sometimes two people as so used to doing their own thing that blending their lives together can be challenging.

One other thing, you can always welcome her into your world if she wants to accompany you but it needs to be presented just that way. Its your world and she can join you or not...her choice.

 

[MEM2020]

If she gets to where she can control you in a way that she won't allow in reverse: She will lose respect for you and stop sleeping with you. She might sleep next to you but not with you.

A good chunk of marriages become sexless because the guy let's himself be controlled.

 

[Holland]

I find it very funny when women say NAWALT (not all women are like that) because when they say that it usually means that all women ARE like that.

You know all women? It is a gross generalisation to say ALL of any gender do this or that. So it would be OK to say any of the following?
ALL men are sex crazy.
ALL men are chauvinists.
ALL men go to the pub and get pissed with their mates.

I don't play games, I am more than fine with my partner going our and living his life in fact I would not like it if he didn't.
I don't start sill arguments, we talk about issues but don't have to agree.

 

[bribrius]

My wife is like that all the time. cheer up. Attention, she wants attention.
Earlier mine walked up and shutoff my laptop, took it away, and crawled on the couch by me.

Rude? jealous of the laptop? well probably. She didnt ask me to put away the laptop. she wanted attention. Figures that is her right, so she took it. some women are like that . Get used to it.
Tell her to learn to come right out and get it when she wants it. The alternatives are usually much worse. Save the mystery because us guys arent always that in tune emotionally.
Enjoy giving her attention. Not a bad thing.
And after you get this figured out, you will be free for YOU time.

 

[Sbrown]

Wow! I can't believe so many men are willing to jump through any hoop the wife demands! It saddens me to think I used to be the panting dog eager to jump through any hoop placed in front of me.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[costa200]

To see Ronaldo VS Messi she better give up her saturday shopping spree