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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Can someone please tell why do some MAN that has a beautiful, intelligent woman as a girlfriend will want to make her insecure mentioning or better said strutting in her face of how gorgeous/precious another woman is (actress, celebrity, etc)

What is it about these man? WHY? Do they want to take you a notch down or want you to feel insecure, less than or inadequate.

what isthe real reason behind this behavior?!
 

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Do they want to take you a notch down or want you to feel insecure, less than or inadequate.
Yes, to all of those. Their own self esteem is in the trash, they wonder how they got you in the first place, and they want you to think that you can be easily replaced. This can quickly turn bad. Jealousy, control, physical abuse. Run.
 

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Yes, to all of those. Their own self esteem is in the trash, they wonder how they got you in the first place, and they want you to think that you can be easily replaced. This can quickly turn bad. Jealousy, control, physical abuse. Run.
I agree with everything you’ve said here.
 

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Can someone please tell why do some MAN that has a beautiful, intelligent woman as a girlfriend will want to make her insecure mentioning or better said strutting in her face of how gorgeous/precious another woman is (actress, celebrity, etc)

What is it about these man? WHY? Do they want to take you a notch down or want you to feel insecure, less than or inadequate.

what isthe real reason behind this behavior?!
Both sexes do it.
 

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What is it about these man? WHY? Do they want to take you a notch down or want you to feel insecure, less than or inadequate.
They probably feel like they don't deserve you and could easily lose you, so they want to make sure you don't go anywhere by tanking your self-esteem as much as theirs.

You are not married to this man, so I'd suggest thinking long and hard if this is worth dealing with. If it is, some therapy is definitely needed. If he refuses that, then you know this will never change. At that point you will have to decide if you want to put up with it for the rest of your married life, with the possibility of it getting even worse.
 

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I think this is all a bunch of assumption gun jumping. What did he do or say ?

My wife and I point out hotties to each other. Neither of us are being bitter jerks ... we just appreciate good looking opposite sex .... nothing wrong with that.
 

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Because men who do that are selfish and immature. Why are you still with him?
 

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women compare,
men collect
you can't understand what he is doing because you don't fundamentally understand him.
Now is the best time to get rid of a man that you can't feel comfortable with.
I wish I had jettisoned my relationship 4 kids and a marriage ago. Like you I get to look at the 5 to 7 cover models of the week every week.
I don't like it, but I do know for a fact that no man in that condition is interested in a 50+ year old mother of 4.
 

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A person who says an actress or celebrity is attractive is not necessarily strutting anything in their SO's face nor trying to make them feel bad. An off hand comment about some celebrity is a throw away comment. It's not a behavior limited to one gender. Some men do this but so do some women.

Last night I was watching cable news with my husband & a new reporter came on the screen. I said "ooh he's cute." It was a causal observation not an insult to my marriage.

Now if one's SO is constantly talking about this celebrity & saying stupid stuff like "I wish you were more like [the celebrity]" that would be problematic.

So what exactly is your SO saying?
 

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Yes, but mostly if an extreme and intentional hurt is the objective.

Most couples; the W says Jason Memoa is hot, a H may say wonder woman Gal Gadot is hot, all in playful conversation for example, without such hurtful intentions, too, so there's that.
 

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Yes, but mostly if an extreme and intentional hurt is the objective.

Most couples; the W says Jason Memoa is hot, a H may say wonder woman Gal Gadot is hot, all in playful conversation for example, without such hurtful intentions, too, so there's that.
I think if somebody is truly upset that their SO mentions an actor/actress is hot, it's probably an insecurity issue on their side
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
They probably feel like they don't deserve you and could easily lose you, so they want to make sure you don't go anywhere by tanking your self-esteem as much as theirs.

You are not married to this man, so I'd suggest thinking long and hard if this is worth dealing with. If it is, some therapy is definitely needed. If he refuses that, then you know this will never change. At that point you will have to decide if you want to put up with it for the rest of your married life, with the possibility of it getting even worse.
Absolutely, it’s just a bit weird and frustrating that he talks like a parrot about the stupidest things, like why so and so live in such place or this and that!! It seems as if he had complex or inferiority issues.

The fact that he talks so much not even my friend or some family members don’t want him near.
 

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The fact that he talks so much not even my friend or some family members don’t want him near.
So why are you with Mr. Charming?
 
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I look too and sometimes comment, so does my husband, and then I look away and don’t think much about that other attractive person. Just like a painting or flower or beautiful blue sky. Look at that, there it is, moving on.

But as above poster suggested there’s looking and commenting in a way that DOESN’T make your spouse feel lesser and lower. Is he building you up in other ways? Letting you know that you ARE intelligent and beautiful? That’s the real indicator behind what he means by these constant comments. And I’m assuming it’s contestant to the point of your frustration?
 

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I look too and sometimes comment, so does my husband, and then I look away and don’t think much about that other attractive person. Just like a painting or flower or beautiful blue sky. Look at that, there it is, moving on.

But as above poster suggested there’s looking and commenting in a way that DOESN’T make your spouse feel lesser and lower. Is he building you up in other ways? Letting you know that you ARE intelligent and beautiful? That’s the real indicator behind what he means by these constant comments. And I’m assuming it’s contestant to the point of your frustration?
This hits right at the issue I have with my wife behaving this way. While I don't necessarily think she is being malicious to actively cut me down, I do think she is rather insensitive and oblivious. She will gush and drool and actively seek out certain celebs, and rather expressively acknowledge hot men on the television, movies. Where it becomes hurtful is that she struggles to express the same sorts of feelings towards me, or as you put it so eloquently, she struggles with building me up.

She has toned herself down a lot over the years, but the damage has been done, and I will never feel as if I am anything more than passable to her in the raw attractiveness department. Any comfort I feel in my own body has to come from myself.
 

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If a man really loves his wife, he wouldn't do this since it's disrespectful. I'm old enough to know doing that is not going to end well. My wife and I would be watching TV and sometimes she would says "she's hot". And yeah the woman might be, but my wife wasn't looking for me to agree with her. She was looking for me to say, "yeah she's okay, but not as hot as you".

So I think those guys either have a low self-esteem and are looking to feel better at the expense of their wife. Or they just don't love their wives and don't care if she knows it.
 

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If a man really loves his wife, he wouldn't do this since it's disrespectful. I'm old enough to know doing that is not going to end well. My wife and I would be watching TV and sometimes she would says "she's hot". And yeah the woman might be, but my wife wasn't looking for me to agree with her. She was looking for me to say, "yeah she's okay, but not as hot as you".

So I think those guys either have a low self-esteem and are looking to feel better at the expense of their wife. Or they just don't love their wives and don't care if she knows it.
OR if your wife is looking for you to say "she isn't as hit as you" she may be the one with low self-esteem?
 
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