Talk About Marriage banner

781 - 800 of 828 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,152 Posts
I'm sure John's kids will have jobs making tons of money and then marry men that also make tons of money so they won't have to be able to perform menial life tasks, they'll have people that do it for them. Unlike us poor, under-educated, under-achieving, hard-working Americans.
And then be royally fvcked when the next recession or depression happens.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39,733 Posts
Sad that you only see it from an American-centric point of view.
I assume, then, that they are going to be rich enough wherever they will live with these Ivy league degrees that all the 'chores' around their homes will be taken care of by maids, servants, cooks, and nannies? You can live like a king in Thailand for $10,000.

If that's the case, fine. They don't NEED to know how to run a household. But if they're going to live someplace like America where their money won't go that far, they WILL at some point have to learn how to wash their own clothes. And if they marry someone else who does know how, and they then expect that person to do it FOR them, well, I feel sorry for that marriage.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,290 Posts
I think I did ok :)
But would your wife agree? You might have done well for yourself financially, but the more posts I see, I am inclined to disagree with you.

See, you talk about growing up poor... very poor. Hated doing chores. Do you really think kids here enjoy chores? The vast majority do not like them at all.

But here's my biggest problem. You say you are middle class. The more you post about how much money you spend on this and that, it just does not fit.

Yes, I absolutely feel sorry for your daughters. Tbh, I kind of hope their roommates don't agree to just do all the work while they do nothing. I hope they ARE forced to pitch in and do the chores in the dorm room. And I hope they have to learn how to do their own laundry. Whether you wish to believe it or not, by sheltering them from doing *any* chores, you really have done them a disservice.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
42,509 Posts
Really? I can't recall a single buddy from Europe that had a part time job growing up. Not quite the same attitude here. There it's ok to live with your parents after 25. Here...

And that's not counting the very well off to do with multiple servants in places my wife grew up, India, Saudi Arabia, et al.

People adapt and learn. I came to this country at age 22 without knowing most of the so called life skills. I think I did ok :)
You said that you did chores when you were young at home and hated it. So apparently you did get some life skills.

Sure there are places where well off people have servants. I spent a good part of my youth in such places. We always had live-in servants and some who did not live it. But not all places have that. Here in the USA most people cannot afford it.

You daughters might not be able to afford that when they are out on their own.

Do you and your wife have servants?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,290 Posts
You said that you did chores when you were young at home and hated it. So apparently you did get some life skills.

Sure there are places where well off people have servants. I spent a good part of my youth in such places. We always had live-in servants and some who did not live it. But not all places have that. Here in the USA most people cannot afford it.

You daughters might not be able to afford that when they are out on their own.

Do you and your wife have servants?
And what happens if the affluent lose all their money? If they never learned basic skills, how are they going to survive?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39,733 Posts
Haha. I keep envisioning this world, after everyone takes to texting and textspeak, and I, as a writer, who still knows how to construct a sentence, will become one of the most valuable people around, lol. I'll be the only left who knows how to record anything. ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,292 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,292 Posts
And then be royally fvcked when the next recession or depression happens.
The gallery is on a roll today.

The whole point of spending a decade in college is to have a fairly good chance of staying employed when bad times come.

I've worked for the same company for 31 years and have seen wave after wave of layoffs. I'm still here.

Oh well.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
42,509 Posts
And what happens if the affluent lose all their money? If they never learned basic skills, how are they going to survive?
This happens and it's often a disaster for people who never had to lift a finger to take care of themselves.

Even though we usually had servants when we lived overseas, we usually did not when we lived overseas. My mom used to make us work with the maid to clean the house, dishes, etc. She said that we had to know how to do these things. My mom had 8 children... so the more hands to help the better anyway.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
42,509 Posts
I never did my own laundry growing up. First week of college I figured it out easily, been doing it ever since

:smthumbup:

Best of luck in here @john117 :grin2:
I married my step kid's dad when my son was 10. My step kids were 10 & 12. I taught the 3 kids to do their own laundry. I never had to wash any of their clothing, sheets or towels. It was all their chore. If a 10 year old can do it, so can any adult.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,290 Posts
I never did my own laundry growing up. First week of college I figured it out easily, been doing it ever since

:smthumbup:

Best of luck in here @john117 :grin2:
Roommate showed you how the washer and dryer worked? Or did you turn your underwear pink, first? 😉

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,611 Posts
I married my step kid's dad when my son was 10. My step kids were 10 & 12. I taught the 3 kids to do their own laundry. I never had to wash any of their clothing, sheets or towels. It was all their chore. If a 10 year old can do it, so can any adult.
Um, ok

Roommate showed you how the washer and dryer worked? Or did you turn your underwear pink, first? 😉

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
Who said I wore underwear :wink2:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
670 Posts
That is the case sometimes. However, there are plenty of times when a person who is taken advantage of speaks up and does not often. But they are ignored. Often times they are accused of nagging. And then in the end after a lot of speaking up, a lot of trying to get their spouse onboard, the only thing left is to file for divorce. By the time a divorce is file, the one who has not been listening is sitting there saying that they were blind sided.. they did not know that there was a real problem. But it's too late because their spouse is completely done with them and the marriage.

That is a huge breakdown is communication in a marriage. Yes the other spouse might be done but if when they spoke up and when were ignored initially they dealt with it perhaps it would not have escalated to what you describe.
I think if it becomes a situation like this then you had crappy communication before you got married and even crappier after.



Sent from my iPhone
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,292 Posts
You said that you did chores when you were young at home and hated it. So apparently you did get some life skills.

Sure there are places where well off people have servants. I spent a good part of my youth in such places. We always had live-in servants and some who did not live it. But not all places have that. Here in the USA most people cannot afford it.

You daughters might not be able to afford that when they are out on their own.

Do you and your wife have servants?
The chores were either farm or real work related when I was bored - not practical skills like change a tire. Both my parents worked and my brother decided to learn how to cook. He was an excellent cook btw. But number of chores is proportional to house size. We grew up in a 900 sq ft apartment, so no chores to speak of.

I learned to do the American homeowner routine on the fly. And learned well. But at age 56+ I'm dead tired of screwing with the yard. No servants - ironically most of my fellow American McMansion residents have servants :)

I still loved our apartment tho...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
670 Posts
The standards thing can be interesting.



For example... does the dishes but then leaves the sink full of food scraps, dirty, and dirty water on the counters around the sink, etc. So yea, the dishes are done but now you have to clean the sink. Is that an incomplete job? Or is it a job to be accepted as ok because the dishes are in the dishwasher or dish rack?



Another example... cleaning the counter after dinner prep. Pushes everything to the back of the counter.. not putting away thinks like spices, dishes, even unused veggies... just pushing them to the back of the counter and whipping down whatever of the counter is showing.



Both of these exmaples mean that someone has to come behind them and complete the job.


True...but not everyone does things the same way. This has nothing to do with the job done but the expectation of outcome.



Sent from my iPhone
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,290 Posts
The gallery is on a roll today.

The whole point of spending a decade in college is to have a fairly good chance of staying employed when bad times come.

I've worked for the same company for 31 years and have seen wave after wave of layoffs. I'm still here.

Oh well.
We understand the point in spending that time in college. However, even you have to acknowledge that there are no guarantees. It is very easy to get a decent education and still sweep and mop the floor once a week. It doesn't take long, at all. Same with the other chores like dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. All of those can be done in under an hour in a smaller home or dorm. Laundry takes a little longer, but still not long at all.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
 
781 - 800 of 828 Posts
Top