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1st off we live with with my inlaws, which is great at times and then not great at others.
FIL always yells at the kids if they are making to much noise so they are not to play on his level just on our's or the basement. He pokes DS with a cane, we told him to stop and he says he is playing well it's not playing when your grandchild crys and runs away from you every day.
He also bugs him when he is eating (child has a feeding tube) so when he eats by mouth it's a huge deal but we try not to make it a big deal. We just let him eat and be.
We said something to him and it seems like MH can't do no wrong and I brained washed my kids and MH against fil.

I was so mad and upset with MH I told him, I should of just leave you and then myself and the kids would not have to deal with this.(we are also 7 months into R) I think living where we are put a strain on our marriage.
 

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1st off we live with with my inlaws, which is great at times and then not great at others.
FIL always yells at the kids if they are making to much noise so they are not to play on his level just on our's or the basement. He pokes DS with a cane, we told him to stop and he says he is playing well it's not playing when your grandchild crys and runs away from you every day.
He also bugs him when he is eating (child has a feeding tube) so when he eats by mouth it's a huge deal but we try not to make it a big deal. We just let him eat and be.
We said something to him and it seems like MH can't do no wrong and I brained washed my kids and MH against fil.

I was so mad and upset with MH I told him, I should of just leave you and then myself and the kids would not have to deal with this.(we are also 7 months into R) I think living where we are put a strain on our marriage.
Whose house is it? It the in-laws own it, you go by their rules. And if one of their rules is to be insensitive a-holes, too bad.

If it's your house, it's your rules and lay them down. It in-laws don't like it, there's the front door.
 

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Living with the in-laws, or parents, whatever is just a disaster. I have seen it destroy families. The drama and dynamics of it are simply a total, unmittigated mess. It all gets wrapped up in an emotional, financial and and inter-relationship circle jerk.

That said - you need to both pick your battles and make the extra effort for be accomodating. Where your families well being is concerned - there is no compromise, but you need to extend your political skills far beyond reason sometimes just to keep the peace. Try to articulate reasonable boundries and stick to it.

Step 2: formulate a plan to get the hell out of there, and start executing it. If that means saving $20 bucks a week into a new account - get busy doing it. Nothing is going to improve if you simply coast.
 
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