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Why are some men so much better in bed than others? Do they do research? Or are they just willing to try different things. Or do they just want to please there partner? Are there classes?
My H needs them?

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Some men only care about thier needs, others actually care about our needs to. It's hard to "fix" when someone is just flat out selfish though. The first step, talk to him. Communicate your needs, people aren't mind readers. It could be a situation where he just doesn't know what you really want.
 

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Why are some men so much better in bed than others? Do they do research? Or are they just willing to try different things. Or do they just want to please there partner? Are there classes?
My H needs them?

Cheers
Some men actually listen to their partners instructions, have a good memory, and are great learners.....:lol:

I think it's a shame that some men are clueless as to whether they are pleasing their partner, it's really not their fault, they've had lousy women who don't speak up and share their needs. I wonder if these are the women who are "faking" it.

I won't go into too much detail, but I was with a guy once, he was very attractive, had the nicest lips I had ever seen. We kissed, big disappointment, it was one of those kissers that kind of peirce their lips together with the occasional tongue, I tried to work with it, but no, he wasn't budging, it was his way. Unfortunately, it was the same in bed. I figured since he was around my age 40ish, that at least he would have learned something along the years. So, during the act, I had to tell him to slow down (where ya going dude), I think this hurt his feelings and I never saw him again. I look at it this way, I work damn hard to please my partner, if they aren't willing to learn, then it's not worth it. So I guess there's two types of people, those who refuse to change, and think they're fine, and the others who have not had the opprotunity to have feedback, and desperately would change for any women in order to make them happy.

Bottom line....speak up...
 

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All of these complaints may be said for many women. Successfully pleasing intercourse begins with verbal interaction. If either party can't accomplish this, they are likely to have complaints.
 

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I will echo as a man it really is about desiring to meet the needs of their partner with a bit of selfish notion. I actually enjoy seeing, feeling and hearing my wife feel sexual pleasures. It does take practice, it also demands he be s good listener as well as good observer.

The one thing I've learned is take your time... This is not a 100 meter dash...
 

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Why are some men so much better in bed than others? Do they do research? Or are they just willing to try different things. Or do they just want to please there partner? Are there classes?
My H needs them?

Cheers
All of the above, except for the classes. :D

I've been both of those guys...the guy who thought he was good in bed and thought he knew what he was doing, versus the guy who really is and does.

Getting to be the guy that does know what the hell he's doing did take research, and a willingness to try different things. The desire to please was pretty much always there, but desire without knowledge won't exactly cut it. It doesn't hurt, but I had to educate myself to things that no woman ever would.

It also required one other main thing...."the willingness to try new things" was needed in her too. Sometimes it can be a slight struggle to keep from falling into the "same old, same old" comfortable rut. I won't let her do it. I make sure we're always changing things up.

Funny how just a couple nights ago, she asked "how does sex with us just keep getting better and better after all this time?" I can tell you it sure isn't because we sucked together in the first place.
 

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Sex classes eh? Would be funny lol

Yes in fact there are sex classes, with hot men and ladies as teachers, they will teach you how to do it right! Lol
Now that would be an interesting job!!! Can only imagine! :p

Gives me an idea for roleplay actually
 

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1. You need to know what you want him to do, and tell him clearly.

2. He has to be willing to absorb the information you tell him, practice it, and ask follow up questions if he feels like he needs more feedback.

3. He cannot pretend that he is a stallion in the bedroom just because he read a few books or has been around the block a few times. All women are different. Even if he knew his exes body and how to please her, chances are almost none of those moves can be repeated on a new woman with the same results. So he needs yo approach each woman with a clean slate, ready to learn.

4. He must be patient, enjoy the learning experience, and not let his ego get wrapped up in it. Nothing worse than a man who gets his feelings hurt when you are trying to guide him.

Pleasure is the responsibility of both partners. Each must be willing to communicate and leave the ego at the door.
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Well does your H need the basics or the details?

Detailed instruction is between you and him.
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The key is being fit and having variety IMO. Women don't know what they want... end of story.

For guys, being fit is #1 far and away. It's not optional, it's a requirement for good sex. It means you'll have more confidence as well as turning the woman on more. That physical health lets you get into more positions, have more stamina, and have harder erections (also, have 0-2 drinks before sex... not ten).

As for technique, guys just need to know anatomy... namely cl1t, gspot, and other sensitive areas (back on neck, nape of neck, back of knees, inside of thighs, small of back, hip bones, wrists, etc). You need to know all the basic positions, especially the ones that are good for her (woman on top, reverse cowgirl, and doggystyle for most women). You need to know how to give good massages and good oral to the woman.

Perhaps most of all, you need to know how to flirt and how to kiss... or you won't get much further. Flirting goes a lot further than compliments... you need role play, costumes or sexy outfits, mind games, occasional BDSM situations, etc etc based on the woman's comfort level and sexual openness.

The VARIETY is key because women are in different moods at different times. Sure, most guys would like it porn style... fast an heavy 99% of the time, but women aren't like that at all. Sometimes they want to be loved slow and passionate, sometimes they want to be railroaded and ravaged, and usually they want something inbetween. I've had girls tell me I need to stop treating them like a porn star in bed, and I've had others tell me I need to be more assertive and "more of a man." It all depends on their mood.

Lastly, you need experience. I guess that could come with one or just a few partners, but generally, I think that guys who care about being a good lover and have been with a variety of partners will just know more tricks. You pick up techniques and advice from each lover... assuming you pay attention. GL
 

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Re: Why are some men so much better in bed than others?
The key is being fit and having variety IMO. Women don't know what they want... end of story.
Wrong for me.

IME some of it comes down to a man's attitude to sex. Some guys are just more into it and willing to get in and have a good go at it.

Enthusiasm is worth more than experience although I have to say my guy has both in abundance which is great. I have never seen such enthusiasm like when his rips my underwear off, that face OMG the look on his face, like he just won the lottery :smthumbup:
Or the look on his face when he uses the vibe on me, like he is doing the most important job in the world.

I just have to think about the look on his face and it makes me want to jump him. Yes enthusiasm is key for me.
 

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I want to ask the Sam question about women! How about being with a woman who just lays there and is uncomfortable in her own skin? How do you make a women let her guard down. I think it is really a matter if sexual compatibility...yes there are many guys who go straight for the crotch, say I love you then blow their load and turn over and snore. But what do you do when you take it slow, caress her inner thigh lightly, scratch her scalp and other things first building up to great 20+ minutes of steamy sex and 45 minutes later she hasn't give a single indication of what part was nice. Then you are SOL and left to wonder...did she enjoy it? Did she close her eyes because she was imagining being elsewhere. Guess the real question is why are some women so afraid of letting go and enjoying it...
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Half the battle is:

1. true aficionado of the female body - liking to explore it and never getting enough of it.
2. high sex drive
3. strong attraction to your partner

of course that's not all it takes but I believe many men lack even these most basic prerequisites.
 

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The same question could be asked of WOMEN.

My friend was with a woman that just laid there and though that was all she needed to do so I can imagine he had a lot of fun. I strted reading up on sex back when I found the Joy of sex my parents hid [lol] even though I was way to young for sex and I just keeps reading books,Videos ect and when I did start have sex I used what I learned and my and I expirminted ,talked and just had a good time in the bedroom. I think communication and having fun is the key.
 

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Why are some men so much better in bed than others? Do they do research? Or are they just willing to try different things. Or do they just want to please there partner? Are there classes?
My H needs them?

Cheers
Sometimes its your level of comfort with that person.
A partner who genuinely makes you happy will be able to please you in bed in the long run,better than one who you see as selfish.

When both of you are happy, it makes the experience a learning one and much fun.

BTW,
Married sex is WAY different to sex while you were dating.
 
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