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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Which is the better person to be? The person who willing does what the other person asks of them knowing that the other person will very seldom or ever reciporcate?

Or the person who refuses to do what someone has asked of them because they know there will seldom, if ever, be any reciprocity??
 

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Be true to yourself. It's the best way. IMO
 

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The question might be more about why is that person with someone who would never or seldom reciprocate anyway?

What is it they are needing to reciprocate?
 

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Which is the better person to be? The person who willing does what the other person asks of them knowing that the other person will very seldom or ever reciporcate?

Or the person who refuses to do what someone has asked of them because they know there will seldom, if ever, be any reciprocity??
Neither is the "better" person to be. Being option 1 will make you a doormat and eventually turn you into option 2. Why be with someone who will never reciprocate kindness?
 

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Which is the better person to be? The person who willing does what the other person asks of them knowing that the other person will very seldom or ever reciporcate? I'm this one. I wish I knew the answer to this...

Or the person who refuses to do what someone has asked of them because they know there will seldom, if ever, be any reciprocity??
 

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Neither is the "better" person to be. Being option 1 will make you a doormat and eventually turn you into option 2. Why be with someone who will never reciprocate kindness?
This is so true because I often fight with my brain when it goes, "I will NEVER do this for another man..." and then my brain goes, "That's not fair, another man might never take advantage of you if you do this for him."
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
It can be very hard on your brain DD.. And I do agree with 3x as well.. It will turn you into #2..

I do know I sleep better at night knowing that I have treated someone the way I would like to be treated even if they didn't reciporcate.. Maybe one day the light bulb will go off for them if you keep showing them...
 

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The better person is the one who doesnt see this as an 'either or', or a contest.

The better person is the one that does not, as your 2 choices illustrate, 'know' that they will be dissappoiinted.

The better person will find a way to do the right thing, without justification based on some assumed failure of their other - and when there is a failure - isnt afraid to say so and also find a way to move things forward. Make things better.

In short... I say both of the options presented are miserable options leading to nowhere.
 

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The better person to be would be one that does not tolerate either of your options but instead either strives to have a more balanced relationship or moves on.

Both these options are no win and will end up leading to a lot of resentment and unhappiness.
 

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Which is the better person to be? The person who willing does what the other person asks of them knowing that the other person will very seldom or ever reciporcate?
If you know this will cause hurt, disappointment, a seething anger & a growing resentment, better to NOT do it...Only do what you will not hold against the other person... this is something to learn in a book like this>>

Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life ...

One on marriage here >>
Boundaries in Marriage:



Or the person who refuses to do what someone has asked of them because they know there will seldom, if ever, be any reciprocity??
If I was in this situation.... I would remind my other half that I am not willing to do what he asks because he is not considerate of my needs....and until he can come to the table and compromise wanting to build something workable....brainstorming together with some
.... letting him know that is welcomed.....I'd be out of the game .

He also must realize this could be the beginning of the end....
 

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I think it depends on what the "favor" is. If it's a bj, then you really would WANT reciprocity. But if you don't MIND doing it... and if it really ADDS to the experience for you as well as him....

So it's more of a consideration than if you take the stupid cat to the vet when it's HIS cat and you know he wouldn't do it for you. Then you do it anyway, mostly because it's pretty much a one time deal and not intimate.

There's also the idea of doing things for someone because you care.... depending on the level of "care". These things we do with no thought to reciprocation, just because we love them.
 
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