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I don't know who my husband is anymore. One thing for sure is he is NOT the man I fell in love with 6 years ago when we were in our early twenties. I feel more like a mom than anything taking care of a boy. I've been living with this frustration much too long by myself and as I see my life pass by I don't know what to do. Here are some examples of what I've had to deal with...

His whole family moved into my one bedroom and the stress that came with it caused my hormones to go through the roof and now I suffer from PCOS. I gained 100 pounds because of another disorder...This post should really be about financial issues between married couples, but I am really concerned I don't the man I married anymore. Everything that he tells me is a lie and I always find out. I can't trust him and I'm so upset that he gets angry at me for telling him to stop lying - he says that it's because he assumed I would get angry in the first place - which infuriates me further. I have explained COUNTLESS times that I would much rather know the truth than not know and be worried about where he is and how late it gets...sometimes he doesn't even come home when he tells me that he's on his way home...

I've waited up til morning wondering if he got hurt or in trouble (note motherly anxiety).

He works now, after a year of not working and staying home playing video games and staying up all night and sleeping all day and not eating until I got home. I still cook and clean and work 2 jobs and take care of his family once in a while. I am getting so run down and I'm only 25.

I see other couples where the man takes care of the woman and makes her feel loved and actually proposed to her and wants to get to know her family and touches her without being asked. If I had even half this list I wouldn't feel so bad...

I cry myself to sleep and I hate what my life has become.
 

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I see other couples where the man takes care of the woman and makes her feel loved and actually proposed to her and wants to get to know her family and touches her without being asked. If I had even half this list I wouldn't feel so bad...

I cry myself to sleep and I hate what my life has become.
We can let ourselves daydream of what we deserve and blame the other person, or we can take a hard look at ourselves and the role we play in letting our lives become a certain way.

He didn't make you become the mother role. You adopted this. For whatever reason, you allowed yourself to become that.

You hate what your life has become, then it's time for change. Do you have the strength to do this? It's time to make some positive changes for yourself. I'm not suggesting you leave him or that you stay with him - I'm simply suggesting you begin self reflection. This can actually be a hard thing to do but it's worth it and necessary for growth. You'll find it's something you will need to do time and time again in your life. Once you start recognizing who you are and how you allowed your life to become this way, you can then begin to make changes and assert yourself so that others in your life respond accordingly. I realize this can be easier said than done but maybe reading this message might speak to you in some way.

Good luck! Stop waiting up for him, get a good night's sleep ;)
 
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