Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
21 - 23 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
24 Posts
This sounds like a wonderful idea and so peaceful and good for your soul.
try this:
get your backpack and a tent. Pack a weeks worth of food, and something to do, like bring a harmonica or a paperback of war and peace. Drive your car to a trailhead in the woods, hike to the top of a big mountain, and set up camp where there is a view from the hilltop but far from the trail so other hikers will not see you. Notice where the streams/springs are for water supply on your hike up.

Then set up shop there for a week. Explore. Watch the sunset. Drink a hot cup of cocoa as the sun rises.

At some point, the mountain will talk to you. I suggest you listen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,715 Posts
I am 30, too and struggle with a lot of your same feelings.

I've always been a wherever the wind blows me type. Never really had any strong aspirations or visions about the future. But I would consider myself a very practical person.

I have visions and daydreams of running off into the wilderness or getting on a random plane and doing one of those Eat, Pray, Love stints.

But the fact is that I have a family - H and two young kids - and a mortgage, car payment, etc. I have a job that is very BLAH but it is necessary to pay the bills. I have responsibilities and I would never put someone else in a bad place because of my own issues.

I don't have a good solution, but I can tell you that I regularly do three things to combat this feeling:

1) I make it a point to keep up on current events, especially those that are unfortunate, to remind myself that comparitively I have it [email protected] good. I also spend a great deal of time looking for small ways to help those in need that are reachable...I regularly donate to charities and animal shelters. My contributions are so small it probably makes zero difference honestly, but it makes me feel like I am DOING something. I read a lot of human interest pieces...most people would call me a bleeding heart I guess.

2) I do at least one thing every day that is just for me, and no one else. Nothing mean spirited. As an example; my H is a cheapskate and gets angry at any frivolous spending. He has a point about making sure we don't make any rash purchases but I used to avoid buying coffee out for example in fear of his reaction. Now, I just do it. A coffee at starbucks (even if ridiculously priced at $6 or whatever they are) won't kill us. I go without him and without the kids and just enjoy it without any grief from H and without kids yelling to share it with them. Sometimes I ask my H to pick up the kids after work and I come home and instead of doing chores or making dinner right away I watch a trash TV show that I know none of them would want to watch. I might buy myself a piece of clothing that makes me feel good. Just little things. Sometimes H doesnt know, but its never anything that is wrong to hide just more of a feeling of, I want this to be happy and dont have to justify it to anyone.

3) I try to focus on taking care of myself. It's hard to do this because there are a lot of times when I don't want to. I do suffer from anxiety and depression and it took me many years of suffering before I eventually sought treatment and went on medication. I am glad that I did - it didn't help with the lost or bored feeling but it does help with perspective. Being able to see how I fit into a bigger picture and how I impact those around me, which I was blind to before.
I don't know if you have kids. I was never sure if I wanted them, but life had other plans and I ended up with two. It's cliche but they are two of the best things that ever happened to me. I spend a lot of time thinking what kind of life I would wish for them both - one of those things is clarity and contentment, because I feel the pain on a regular basis of not having either. But children often learn by example - for better or for worse - and it's important to me to set a good example. I measure my choices by "What would I want my kids to see me do?" And maybe that's silly but it helps me.
 
21 - 23 of 23 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top