Sounds like your husband has a personality disorder. If so, he's NOT going to change, even with professional help (which he will, of course, REFUSE).
Start figuring out how you will make it on your own. What is YOUR income, how much will your state order your H to pay in child support, how much will it cost for rent/mortgage, utilities, food, clothes, etc. for you and the children, car, insurance, etc.
Don't get discouraged! It just takes some time to figure things our and get some plans in order. If your life makes you numb, if you're watching days, weeks, months slip away while you wonder how long you have until you're in a grave (because at least *THAT* will be different than the sameness of all this current despair), then you need to GET THE HECK OUT, don't turn back, keep on moving forward.
You CAN build a new life for yourself and your children. You CAN be happy again. You CAN be strong enough to do it (you'll be amazed how much stronger and focused you will feel when you have that 'lightbulb' moment and you realize that the life you want, the life you dream about, CAN HAPPEN a step at a time). You CAN have a life with the POSSIBILITY of happiness, the POSSIBILITY of peace, the POSSIBILITY of purpose, the POSSIBILITY of someone new who loves you, the POSSIBILITY of feeling strong and in charge of YOUR life. I know it may seem hard, but coming to TAM is the FIRST STEP.
I was WHERE YOU ARE IN October of last year (2011). I was miserable, thought about when I would be dead (not killing myself, just the peace of non-existence), realized my life was slipping away a day, a week at a time. I told my STBXH that I wanted a divorce. He talked me into waiting through the holidays so they "wouldn't be ruined", yeah... I decided to wait until the end of the schoolyear (have a teenager).
In April of this year (2012) with one month of schoolyear left, I found TAM and realized I did NOT have to stay and be miserable. I told him I was leaving. He went NUTS (physically AND verbally).
Left him in May 2012, found a job in June 2012 (I hadn't worked in 10 years because I was a SAHM). I AM SO HAPPY NOW, it is UNBELIEVABLE. Six months into this journey and I wake up happy EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' DAY!!!! I work hard, I pay my bills, I spend my time doing what I want to, I've reconnected with old friends! No one ignores me, or puts me down, or questions my judgement, or treats me like the maid, or a commodity to "clean his pipes" (yeah, classy guy that he is, he ACTUALLY said that to me about sex; you can imagine how fun/loving HE was in bed! He sucked...and NOT in the good way!) My life is SO DIFFERENT and fulfilling and FUN in just six months that now I am kicking myself that I didn't leave his selfish azz 10 years earlier than I did (I left and believed his endless BS when he convinced me to come back.) Screw him! I rarely ever think about him now.
Take control of your life and go FIND YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. You DO deserve it!