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:scratchhead:

Hi All,

Posting here hoping for a male perspective on this but first a little bit of back story.

My husband and I have recently separated and when I asked him why he wasn't willing to try counselling his response is that I am no longer attractive to him, physically, and no amount od counselling can change the way he looks at me.

I would say for sure he's better looking than I am and probably has had prettier partners in the past but I've really never though he could see me as this unattractive. I wans't attracted to him because of his looks, there was a lot more too it than that and, if he appearance changed, it wouldn't affect how I feel about him.

As for me, I have changed a bit over the last couple of years. I was really sick, twice. Lost a lot of weight and haven't managed to gain all of it back. I've always been naturally very thin butmI lost muscle too so I guess I look somewhat different. The biggest difference is that my face looks thinner.

Anyway, he told me I'm basically a 2 in a City full of 10s and that he's disappointed because he feels he can do better.

All of this lead me to think: what physical charasteristics do you guys find attractive and if tou partner were to somehow change, gain weight, lose weight, just somehow look different, would there be any particular deal breakers?

Thanks!
 

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:scratchhead:

Hi All,

Posting here hoping for a male perspective on this but first a little bit of back story.

My husband and I have recently separated and when I asked him why he wasn't willing to try counselling his response is that I am no longer attractive to him, physically, and no amount od counselling can change the way he looks at me.

I would say for sure he's better looking than I am and probably has had prettier partners in the past but I've really never though he could see me as this unattractive. I wans't attracted to him because of his looks, there was a lot more too it than that and, if he appearance changed, it wouldn't affect how I feel about him.

As for me, I have changed a bit over the last couple of years. I was really sick, twice. Lost a lot of weight and haven't managed to gain all of it back. I've always been naturally very thin butmI lost muscle too so I guess I look somewhat different. The biggest difference is that my face looks thinner.

Anyway, he told me I'm basically a 2 in a City full of 10s and that he's disappointed because he feels he can do better.

All of this lead me to think: what physical charasteristics do you guys find attractive and if tou partner were to somehow change, gain weight, lose weight, just somehow look different, would there be any particular deal breakers?

Thanks!
Your husband is a jerk - a situation like this is one where I think it's 100% ok to lie! Not doing so shows him to be completely cold.

As for attributes I find attractive: long blonde or dark brown hair (mid back), eyes, nice breasts (don't like anything smaller than a B or bigger than a D), a nice round butt. Weight doesn't matter to me as long as she looks "right" (i.e., tits on a stick is not attractive to me and neither is morbidly obese).

My STBXW is a catch, physically speaking, but being married to her has taught me that I'm much more attracted to personality and intelligence than anything else. She has the looks but ther personality and way she treated me makes her incredibly ugly. I hope you realize the something about your husband!
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I highly doubt he really thinks that. That sounds like the kind of thing that you say when you're just trying to hurt them. I'm sorry he's said those things, and honestly I think you should ignore it. I'm sure you're just fine.

what physical charasteristics do you guys find attractive and if tou partner were to somehow change, gain weight, lose weight, just somehow look different, would there be any particular deal breakers?
As for your specific questions; I'm a leg and ass man, I like slim legs and curvy bums. I could care less about breasts, although if I had to choose, I'd choose smaller. As for gaining and losing weight, I can't imagine losing weight as a deal breaker. I can find extremely thin still attractive if I like the woman herself. I'm also pretty flexible with weight gain, up to a point. I probably wouldn't be attracted to anyone over 200 lbs though.

For the record, he's an ass.
 

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The fact is that men find a wide range of physical attributes attractive, from very skinny to fat, from pale to dark, from "natural" to high maintenance, from top-heavy to bottom-heavy, etc. Generally you can't go wrong being healthy and in decent shape, and doing some things to "take care of yourself" (basic grooming stuff), and a good attitude goes a long way.

But as others have pointed out, your husband just sounds like a jerk.
 

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Anyway, he told me I'm basically a 2 in a City full of 10s and that he's disappointed because he feels he can do better.


And the award for the biggest a$$ hole goes to that guy



To answer your question op to me there is nothing more beautiful than a woman whose confident in herself with a laid back personality


Outward beauty is what attract you inward beauty is what keeps you
 

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IMO being too thin is not an issue to most guys *(caveat for ethnicity)

Deal breakers for me only based on physical attractiveness are putting on too much weight and not doing anything about it and cutting long hair into some sort of mommy or granny cut
 

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My husband and I have recently separated and when I asked him why he wasn't willing to try counselling his response is that I am no longer attractive to him, physically, and no amount od counselling can change the way he looks at me.
Given that you've lost weight, it's likely that your husband is having an affair, or eager to, and he's simply rationalizing that you're to blame.

All of this lead me to think: what physical charasteristics do you guys find attractive and if tou partner were to somehow change, gain weight, lose weight, just somehow look different, would there be any particular deal breakers?
I can forgive most of the physical changes that come during marriage. Especially the ones due to illness. What might change my opinion of my wife is if she became very obese and refused to work on her weight.
 

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Discussion Starter #15 (Edited)
Thanks everyine for all the info and advice.

I've honestly never had any problem with the way I look. I'd like to make more effort to dress nicer and generally look better but with all the other things going on in life I find I'm often very short of time.

Here are a couple pics taken in tha last few days. A couple decent ones and a not so decent one.

Is this someone you'd consider to be a 2?:

{Edited to remove link}

Feel free to be brutsally honest :)
 

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I'm a woman, but I'll give my advice, anyway.

You look kind of stern in the right photo. I bet a little bit of make up and adding some volume to your hair will make the right difference. You look slim and naturally SO (sorry, I didn't mean "slow.") I'm sure most men will agree that's a good thing.

and smile....... for years, Charles's mistress would sneer at the camera so all the the tabloids had photos of her at her least attractive. When Charles finally decided he was going to be seenw ith her out in public (a few years after his ex wife's death) she got a makeover and one of the things she was advised to do was to smile whenever she saw a camera. IT made a huge difference. She will never be considered beautiful to a lot of people, she improved her image and likeability to a large degree.
 

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You're score is muck higher than a two, and you can improve that if you want too. You're H is an ass. He said you're a two just to justify his bs or hurt you. Don't know what problems you two had in the M, but your looks aren't one of them.
 
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