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Which is th better approach during PMS/Period?

3053 Views 13 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  that_girl
Ladies,

I know this answer will vary, but I have come to learn my wife's cycle pretty well and know she started PMSing last night. When she is normal, she loves to hold hands and be close, but when she is PMSing she calls me 'clingy'. Not sure if that means she needs space during these two weeks or if she just needs assurances as to why I am close to her. What do you prefer your man does during your time of the month and do you communicate this or expect him to read your mind?
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I'm more needy because I"m emotional and want reassurance. Since I'm not married, I try to not scare my boyfriend by being clingy and just try to recognize it's temporary. I also sometimes take a natural supplement to help alleviate the symptoms.
Two weeks?!

I try to keep my moodiness and stuff to myself, you know that old "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

That usually results in me being more quiet and withdrawn than normal. Which prompts a lot of "What's wrong with you?" Comments. If he would allow me my silence for a few days, it would be better. Instead he jumps all over me thinking I am mad at him and trying to figure out what to do to make it right. Space is better.
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I would prefer my space when it's that time of the month too. I'm more irritable due to extreme cramps,fatigue and hormones (even though I'm on BC).

I'm never in a cuddly mood and will Subconsciously move away from whoever invading my bubble at the time. After the first two of three days I'm me again. I have had a period lasting a little over two weeks when switching birth control. To say it was an awful experience is a vast understatement. Is your wife on birth control? Most women have periods that only last 3-7 days on birth control.
I feel for you guys!!

PMSing is no picnic, but to be on the receiving end can be worse sometimes, no doubt!

For me personally, I get EXTEMELY emotional and need LOTS reassurance.

And every little thing/person gets on my nerves!

It's best for everyone involved to just feed me a lot of praise and stay out of my way! LOL :eek:

You would think after so many years together I would no longer need to communicate this to the Mister, but alas... He's got the stay-the-hell-away-from-me down pat :rolleyes:... now if he would just throw me a compliment or two during this time (instead of ignoring me) all would be right in the world.
I'm more needy because I"m emotional and want reassurance. Since I'm not married, I try to not scare my boyfriend by being clingy and just try to recognize it's temporary.
Nothing personal EnjoliWoman but your last sentence kind of pisses me off. The since I'm not married comment.

What this is really saying is, "I am PMS'ing, but I can control it because I want to make my boyfriend happy. But if I was married, I would be a total *****"
I prefer to be left alone.

OP, you need to ask your wife what she prefers during her PMS times.
Ladies,

I know this answer will vary, but I have come to learn my wife's cycle pretty well and know she started PMSing last night. When she is normal, she loves to hold hands and be close, but when she is PMSing she calls me 'clingy'. Not sure if that means she needs space during these two weeks or if she just needs assurances as to why I am close to her. What do you prefer your man does during your time of the month and do you communicate this or expect him to read your mind?
It may be different every time. Sometimes my husband will know I'm going into my cycle before I realize it. I have gone both ways in terms of 'leave me alone' or 'pay attention to me! Don't you love meee?'

The best thing to do? Ask. My husband has gotten over the fear of bringing it up and it has made life much smoother.

And it makes me feel really happy that he's not afraid to talk to me about these sort of things. Really makes me feel more connected as a couple. :eek:
I prefer to be left alone.

OP, you need to ask your wife what she prefers during her PMS times.
This....everyone is different. Also, you know your wife so when she gives you a hint of what she wants approach slowly. :p

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Yea I just wanted overall opinions. I knew last night that she was PMSing before she did with the clingy comment, but today she is all about being around me. I know each woman is different but like to hear the general consensus.

I may be ignorant here, but are women usually more irritable in the week before Menses or during your period? I generally avoid both of those weeks all together.
Yea I just wanted overall opinions. I knew last night that she was PMSing before she did with the clingy comment, but today she is all about being around me. I know each woman is different but like to hear the general consensus.

I may be ignorant here, but are women usually more irritable in the week before Menses or during your period? I generally avoid both of those weeks all together.
What is frustrating is not just that all women are different. The problem is that the same woman can be different from month to month and from day to day. My wife can go from sad to angry, from cold to horny. If I ask her about it (PMS) she sometimes is understanding and sometimes is pissed that I brought it up.

I agree with avoiding the two weeks all together, but that means avoiding almost half of your life.
There are theories that say that pms is meant to repel male advances, thus the irritability, anger, sadness, desire to not be touched, etc., all making said advances very unpleasant for the man.

(I always joked (not really a joke) that I wanted to slap strange men on the street in the week before my period.)

Statistically, the weeks between ovulation and onset are the sensitive ones & once the period starts, things swing out of the pms mode. There are some women, though, who feel their worst pms in the days right after their periods, so there is variation.

I agree with the posters who advise simply asking your wife how you can best respond. Words like 'support' and 'reassurance' usually mean that she wants to know that you love her & would love to hear the words out loud.
I expect him to hold me & hug me & tell me everything is going to be okay/ turn out okay.

And yes, I expect him to read my mind.
Well, I don't get PMS badly anymore, since surgery...but Hubs always knows the right day to bring home a chocolate bar. Now, he has to bring two home-- one for me and one for our 13 year old. LOL! Last night was the night. I love when he just knows when to bring one home.

When I DO PMS, I am really affectionate but DO NOT WANT SEX. He's learned the difference and we cuddle and hang out a lot, but god help him if he tries to get laid. :rofl: It's not so bad anymore...but I still don't care for being touched sexually the few days before my period. The 2nd day of my period, I'm good for sex...and since he doesn't care if I'm on my period, we're good to go.
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