Was sex ever an issue before or has it coincided with his recent depression?
Where do I go from here?
Hello,
Looking for a little feedback from people. So in 2 weeks I will have been married for 2 years. I'm 27, my husband is 35. Before marriage, we had a great, solid, dependable relationship. We went through some tough times. His sister is an addict and we had custody of his nephew for a little while- got through that together and seemed stronger than ever. Then a few weeks after our wedding, my father, sadly but expectedly, passed away and my mother asked us to move into their house. Due to her not wanting to be alone and for financial reasons as well. So after this move, we had a pretty decent year. Then within the past year things have just gotten progressively worse. We used to really enjoy being together, couldn't imagine hanging out socially without each other. Well that seems to be over now. Then to top it off, husband has been having recurrences of depression. Would just not get up and go to work, staying in bed all day, that type of stuff. He will nt seek treatment. I have begged, demanded and ultimatum-ed him to do so. Well then the working thing seemed to be getting better. Still kind of sporadic, but much better than it was 6 months ago. My biggest issue now is that we haven't had sex in over 2 months. I understand that this could be due to his depression, but I've talked about it with him and he's basically told me that he "feels pressured". Well I'm tired of feeling unwanted and like a predator in my own marriage. I don't want to waste my time in a dead end marriage- I want to move on to the next step- having kids, living life, and as of now it doesn't feel like its going to happen :-( What would you do? I love this man and he is sincerely my best friend, but I am so unhappy and getting more and more frustrated - I just do not know what to do...
Looking for a little feedback from people. So in 2 weeks I will have been married for 2 years. I'm 27, my husband is 35. Before marriage, we had a great, solid, dependable relationship. We went through some tough times. His sister is an addict and we had custody of his nephew for a little while- got through that together and seemed stronger than ever. Then a few weeks after our wedding, my father, sadly but expectedly, passed away and my mother asked us to move into their house. Due to her not wanting to be alone and for financial reasons as well. So after this move, we had a pretty decent year. Then within the past year things have just gotten progressively worse. We used to really enjoy being together, couldn't imagine hanging out socially without each other. Well that seems to be over now. Then to top it off, husband has been having recurrences of depression. Would just not get up and go to work, staying in bed all day, that type of stuff. He will nt seek treatment. I have begged, demanded and ultimatum-ed him to do so. Well then the working thing seemed to be getting better. Still kind of sporadic, but much better than it was 6 months ago. My biggest issue now is that we haven't had sex in over 2 months. I understand that this could be due to his depression, but I've talked about it with him and he's basically told me that he "feels pressured". Well I'm tired of feeling unwanted and like a predator in my own marriage. I don't want to waste my time in a dead end marriage- I want to move on to the next step- having kids, living life, and as of now it doesn't feel like its going to happen :-( What would you do? I love this man and he is sincerely my best friend, but I am so unhappy and getting more and more frustrated - I just do not know what to do...
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All this could also be tied to living with your mother
Never a great idea if your mother is physically capable of living on her own (besides the fact she's "lonely")
Never a great idea if your mother is physically capable of living on her own (besides the fact she's "lonely")
:iagree: Not having your own place where it is just the two of you probably plays into these problems.All this could also be tied to living with your mother
Never a great idea if your mother is physically capable of living on her own (besides the fact she's "lonely")
Sex was never a constant, but if I were to put it into a time frame, we usually had sex at least 1-2 times a week before things started going downhill. Then about once every two weeks then once a month and now it's going on three months. I agree that living with my mom could most likely be causing some of these issues, but to be fair we have a lot of privacy- practically our own apartment within the house. Also, she works most nights while we works days so our path don't cross too much. Like I said, it's more to do with financial reasons for her than anything. But I feel like I don't have any options in that department and he knows that, so I cannot understand why he is "punishing" me for something that he agreed to and knows the circumstances that we are in...
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