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Hello,

My name is Darrel I'm new here and could use some advice. My wife left me about a year ago, we have 3 children together two boys 8 and 3 and one baby girl 10mos. A rocky relationship for the past 4yrs, the outcome was no real suprise. Although I've accepted my wifes decision I am still very much in love with her. My concern is the relationship we currently maintain and the effects it may have on the future specifically the effects it could have on my kids and on my own sanity. Three children make contact with my wife inevitable. It was weird at first but my wife and I now get along great. We talk on the phone alteast every other day. We get together and take the kids to the park and stuff. We get along alot like we did when we first got together. Considering the way in which we had been getting along I expressed to my wife my thoughts of possibly getting back together, however she stays firm that it would be a mistake but she said she did enjoy our friendship. My wife has openly stated her desire to see other people. To my knowledge she hasn't began dating yet. I am just wondering should I just enjoy the time now spent or should I be weary of letting myself get too close. I wonder if I can handle it when I find out she has found someone new. I also wonder if it is confusing for the kids the fact that we still go do things as a "family" and how they will be effected if my wife gets serious about someone else and the "family" outings stop abruptly. Anyway just a word of advise here would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Darrel
 

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My ex wife and I still do things with my son. I have custody btw, but all school events etc include both of us. It isn't all that wierd and the focus is even more on my son.

She may be waiting for you to find someone so she can tell you she has another or so she can look without "hurting" you.

draconis
 

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I don't think your kids will be confused by doing things together as a family. In fact, I think it's great for them to see that their parents can still be friends despite their seperation.
 

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Hello,

My name is Darrel I'm new here and could use some advice. My wife left me about a year ago, we have 3 children together two boys 8 and 3 and one baby girl 10mos. A rocky relationship for the past 4yrs, the outcome was no real suprise. Although I've accepted my wifes decision I am still very much in love with her. My concern is the relationship we currently maintain and the effects it may have on the future specifically the effects it could have on my kids and on my own sanity. Three children make contact with my wife inevitable. It was weird at first but my wife and I now get along great. We talk on the phone alteast every other day. We get together and take the kids to the park and stuff. We get along alot like we did when we first got together. Considering the way in which we had been getting along I expressed to my wife my thoughts of possibly getting back together, however she stays firm that it would be a mistake but she said she did enjoy our friendship. My wife has openly stated her desire to see other people. To my knowledge she hasn't began dating yet. I am just wondering should I just enjoy the time now spent or should I be weary of letting myself get too close. I wonder if I can handle it when I find out she has found someone new. I also wonder if it is confusing for the kids the fact that we still go do things as a "family" and how they will be effected if my wife gets serious about someone else and the "family" outings stop abruptly. Anyway just a word of advise here would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Darrel
 

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It is good to keep a friendly relationship with your ex; however, I would caution you if you feel you are falling back in love with her to keep a certain distance emotionally. It does not seem like she returns your affectoins and though it is not at all harmful for your children if you get together and do things with them; it could be very harmful if it abruptly stops and turns nasty. You need to search your soul and be truly honest with yourself about whether you can handle her involvement with someone else and what your reaction will be when that happens. If you can come to terms with the fact that she will find someone (and for the childrens sake you can handle that) then I would say proceed.

Just remember, there is a very thin line between love and hate. Keep your children in the front of your mind when you make your decisions. When your emotions take over, things can happen and your children could end up confused and hurting. If you hurt her, you hurt them. If she hurts you, it hurts them. They won't understand dad is mad because mom is seeing someone else because they don't live in that world.

Good luck!
 

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Are you and your wife considering divorce? If so, this way you could move on to someone that want to have a relationship with you.

You keeping your relationship with your kids is great. However, you may want to distant yourself from your wife.
 
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