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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well this is a little hard to pen but here goes, My wife and I have been married over 26 year
with 5 beautiful kids, the oldest being in Gods hands know.

My wife is 44 and very attractive, A young man (23) that we have known for years just exited the Navy.
He had no job, so my wife decided to give him odd jobs around the house. We had known for years that
he had the hots for her but she laughed it off. Well these odd jobs amounted to him coming over and the
Two of them playing pool and getting drunk. It's funny because she even had to pay him or his wife would
get suspicious. Well this was back in Dec. and I kind of blew up after about a week of this. She admitted
She had strong feelings for him, they connected. But she said she was wrong to hurt me like that and she loved me
And wouldn't have farther communication with him.

Well the beginning of March, I found out she had constant communication with him. I was planning a trip out of town
He knew when I was leaving, and she had already arranged day care for our 3 year old, who never was in day care before.

I confronted her again, and she again said she did wrong and loved me and it wouldn't happen again.

That leads me here, she never before logged out of e-mail, know she always does. She never before
turned her cell phone off, now she always does. But what was really the knife through the heart is the MYSPACE.

She all of a sudden had a need for myspace and spends a lot of time there. I went to bed the other night at 9:00
While she was watching a movie. I looked at the history trail on her computer in the morning, only to find she was
Logged on to his MYSPACE by 9:30. She tells me she just wanted to see if he had updated pictures, and that she
Has never communicated with him on myspace, at this time I don't believe much she says. Can we recover ?
 

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I have trust issues with my Wife as well, we are only going on our 3rd year of marriage and together for a little over 4 years.
She has cheated on me before, when we were first dating and when she was doing it she lied her ass off without even batting an eye. I would bring up my suspicions and she would just tell me I'm tripping, that she loved me and that I had nothing to worry about, until I caught her in a lie I could prove.
Needless to say I have a hard time trusting her now and can honestly say I don't, at all. I still think she is being shady from time to time, keeping things from me, and probably doing things that would hurt our relationship if I found out about it, but I have to just wait until I actually catch her in a lie that I can prove, like before.

I really think women get a kick out of this kind of drama, like the soap operas they tend to enjoy watching. The fact that it affects you even hurts you, just adds to their excitement.
She is the center of your attention while she is doing you wrong and she doesn't have to do anything you ask or be honest or anything.

I wish I could give you some good advice but I am still trying to figure things out for myself. One conclusion I have come too though, is that you have to look out for your self, take care of keeping your self happy, because she only cares about her self while in this promiscuous state she's in right now.

I personally think the only thing we as men can do, is play this game along with them. Don't think you can play this game to win though because a woman can get laid a lot faster and with less effort than most of us men can ever dream of. The best we can hope for is just to get ours so that later when you find out she's been cheating on you like she most likely is or soon will be, you don't feel as bad because you got your's...
 

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Hi Mark,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your eldest and that you are going through this with your wife. To answer your question, yes, I think you can recover from this but your wife needs to prove herself trustworthy and she is doing everything but that right now. I am the same age as your wife, and she is probably flattered by the attention of someone half her age (I suppose most men/women would be) but the fact they are both married also means they are disrespecting both spouses by admitting a mutual attraction and continuing contact with one another. I'm sure it's difficult not to react with a lot of emotion when you find yet another thing she's been hiding, but I would try to have a long, calm talk about how she is feeling about your marriage and if there's something missing that this guy is giving her...excitement, fun, whatever and try to work on that within your marriage. My husband and I have in the last year begun to 'date' again and it really has helped us a lot to spend time with one another outside of the daily rut of work/kids/finances. I think the sooner you get it all out on the table, the better as it seems to be getting out of control (if not already) on her part.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks Swedish, Sounds like good advise. I want to trust her but it's so very hard.
We scheduled our first appointment with a marriage counselor, hope that helps.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I hope it will never come to that, I just want to get things right
at home, he also has two small children, so maybe he will get his act right.

It is disappointing that my wife would be so interested in someone like him.
he has omitted to her he cheated on his wife in the Navy, probably a lot more then
once. And then to go after a (some what) happily married women, typically that would
be the type of person she despises. You just never know.

Thanks,
Mark
 

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Maybe you should check out mike123gallagher's thread he started about his wife of nine years is seeing a younger man (or something like that).

I think fighting it is only going to be more harmful than good. You attract more flies with honey ;) But that's something you two have to work out. This is just so common it makes me question monogamy from an animalistic point of view. Best of luck. :)
 
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