I will try communicating with him this evening. AGAIN. I hope he doesnt walk away. AGAIN. Sometimes I feel like I am a door mat. The one whom no one respects and steps on whenever they please. He would expect me to bounce back like nothing happened when ever he chooses to. But when I try...never mind. I will now be repeating myself again.Well you need to communicate with him. And tell him you aren't going to tolerate his not talking to you for month's on end. Own your half of the bullsh*t and tell him that you both need to change how you respond to each other if this marriage is going to work.
People who shut you down though like that, in a pattern, generally don't change that behavior. And that IS emotional abusive when it's done in a pattern like that.
I hope he listens to you and hears you out. Also, like the other poster said, I'm not surprised he blamed HIS pouting behavior on you and is ok with speaking to you again only when HE wants. Typical typical typical for this type of behavior.I will try communicating with him this evening. AGAIN. I hope he doesnt walk away. AGAIN.
He would expect me to bounce back like nothing happened when ever he chooses to. But when I try...
Get rid of this this attitude. Tell him he's not being respectful of you/your marriage when he acts this way.Sometimes I feel like I am a door mat. The one whom no one respects and steps on whenever they please.
I dont know how to split up a quote, so I am just going to write one line by another.I hope he listens to you and hears you out. Also, like the other poster said, I'm not surprised he blamed HIS pouting behavior on you and is ok with speaking to you again only when HE wants. Typical typical typical for this type of behavior.
I have lived this before and it is NOT fun.
It's not loving to actively chose to ignore your partner for that long. It destroys relationships. And it doesn't make a good marriage. It's also a form of control/emotional abuse.
Get rid of this this attitude. Tell him he's not being respectful of you/your marriage when he acts this way.
Also, this dynamic is setting a HORRIBLE example for your child. You're pregnant and I imagine this is causing you insane amount of stress.
I want to try to change this behavior. Also, I dont want to live all my life with him and then one day it dawns on me "what have I done".He has control issues, if you don't have sex the way he wants it then he shuts down. Now his is being pouty by not talking to you. He needs counseling. He isn't going to change, so you have two choices, live like this or leave.
Honestly, you are married to a dlck. Jerking his hand away from you, telling you he doesn't want to "start" anything when you are simply wanting to talk to him, and ignoring you for THREE MONTHS. THREE MONTHS!!!!!! That is NOT ok.Yesterday morning when I tried to talk to him, I touched his hand. He instantly jerked his hand away and acted like he was taken aback. I said, can we please talk. He said, not now, dont start this so early in the morning, I have not even had coffee.
I just told him, there is no good time to talk with him and moved out of the room. I just felt so heart broken,
See how when you do what HE does, he seems to act different? Because he doesn't like being treated like you do him. Did he say anything else or keep ignoring you?I didn't talk to him when I went home from work. Completely ignored him. Trying to make small talk like how is your day was not working and I had no patience anymore. Maybe he noticed I didnt even say hi. He asked how the day was, said he bought pizza and wedges. Asked me if I want juice. That was new.
It IS scary. But what's scarier is living in a marriage with someone who treats you like the scum on their shoe. Choosing to ignore your partner is denying them basic human decency of talking/communicating.Honestly, the thought of separation is so scary to me.
Well, yeah. And your husband should be mindful of this. He KNOWS you are pregnant and not gaining weight and is still choosing to treat you this way. Your daughter is going to grow up thinking this is normal behavior if it keeps up and learn to walk on eggshells like you or be all kinds of emotionally all over the place because of this.No wonder I am losing so much weight, so much sleep everyday. My doctor started to get worried.
A 3 year old is capable of understanding a lot of what is going on. Having sex with a 3 year old present is consider child abuse. How does he not know that?It does matter to me not to get intimate at all in front of my young daughter. he says she is too young to even understand whats going on.
Ok so he wants spontaneous sex. Why wouldn't he?But thats not the issue, I never really liked doing anything on the couch any way other than watch TV/read a book. I think thats what the trigger is most of the times. It drives him mad when i say can we move to another room.
You have said that you would not want to do it in the living room even if your child was not there.I do not reject him every time. I promise you that. I do not reject him at all. I just dont want to do it in the living room. He knows it that I dont want to do it there.
You nailed it. I could not have said it better. This is what is happening and this is what I need to somehow resolve.Basically you feel that your control/power over your own body is being taken away some times. So you fight that by trying to have strict rules about where you have sex. But he's still keeps pushing ... and you interpret that (rightly as lack of respect and losing power/control/autonomy of your own body.)
Do not ignore him.I am confused now, I was thinking I should talk to him this evening. Are you suggesting to hold off the talk and give him the silent treatment?
Yeah. My guy was that way, too. Made a ton of $$ and I didn't worry about any bills. He thought because he could buy me things that I should be ok with him ignoring me for so long over and over and over again. But when he's stonewall me for days/weeks on end, it really wasn't worth it in the end. We had a very envious material life together (envious by other people). But all the money in the world doesn't buy a respectful relationship where there is mutual love.You nailed it. I could not have said it better. This is what is happening and this is what I need to somehow resolve.
Having said all this, he is a good provider. Never a day when I had to worry if we can pay bills. Makes sure we go on vacations at least twice a year. Adores my daughter and so does she. It would be devastating to see them apart, in the event we separate.