Oh I hear you, it's SO difficult. Like you, I also love and care about my BF, but there are times that I still wonder if things are going to be so hard for years to come and I should just cut and run now. It's not an easy decision to say the least, so I feel your pain with that!Ursula, thank you for sharing your experience. I love my boyfriend so I have also thought about NOT getting married, but doing the "Living Apart Together" thing forever (or until his child embraces becoming part of a stepfamily, maybe in 10 or 15 years). It's not what I originally wanted, but I am also scared of having a difficult marriage. It's difficult.