Talk About Marriage banner

1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,425 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Ok this is kind of dumb, but am I the only one who knows the solution to some of my problems but still can’t change?

For example, I frequently go without food for a really long time then when I get out of work I’m too hungry and tired to cook so I order food. Obviously the solution is to pre make food and bring to work, and pre make meals. But old habits die hard.

Whether it’s needing to lose weight, or exercising more, or being more romantic with your wife etc... do any of you know the solution to some of your problems but still can’t change?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,294 Posts
Ok this is kind of dumb, but am I the only one who knows the solution to some of my problems but still can’t change?

For example, I frequently go without food for a really long time then when I get out of work I’m too hungry and tired to cook so I order food. Obviously the solution is to pre make food and bring to work, and pre make meals. But old habits die hard.

Whether it’s needing to lose weight, or exercising more, or being more romantic with your wife etc... do any of you know the solution to some of your problems but still can’t change?
Ahhh, grasshopper. You have hit on a prime tenet of life.

The question is more aptly; who doesn't?

You're struggling with normal issues. We all swing on the pendulum of knowing what to do yet not always doing it.

We wax and wane with the actual doing of things even when know better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,425 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Ahhh, grasshopper. You have hit on a prime tenet of life.

The question is more aptly; who doesn't?

You're struggling with normal issues. We all swing on the pendulum of knowing what to do yet not always doing it.

We wax and wane with the actual doing of things even when know better.
Why are we so stupid? Hahaha
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,876 Posts
Ok this is kind of dumb, but am I the only one who knows the solution to some of my problems but still can’t change?

For example, I frequently go without food for a really long time then when I get out of work I’m too hungry and tired to cook so I order food. Obviously the solution is to pre make food and bring to work, and pre make meals. But old habits die hard.

Whether it’s needing to lose weight, or exercising more, or being more romantic with your wife etc... do any of you know the solution to some of your problems but still can’t change?
Sadly, no, you are not.

We are often our own worst enemy.

Discipline is the only way it changes. Now...if only it were easy...

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
244 Posts
Exactly as the other posters said. I’m diabetic, hbp, obese and a smoker. I know the solution to perhaps not end all of these issues, but for some reason can’t. One day!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,299 Posts
Addiction is a *. Does someone understand what happens in the brain that makes it difficult to get rid of bad habits?
Your brain is literally making shortcut neural connections that reinforce the bad habits. It's like how when people cut across a lawn enough times, they start to wear a path. Then they use the path more because it's easier, etc etc. The brain wants to go in those easier directions that have already been established.

On top of that, there's a reinforcing dopamine hit to the bad behaviour. Whatever food you're ordering that isn't as healthy as making your own meal is probably laden with fats, sugars and salts. Eating it is rewarding. Those are easy calories that were hard for our caveman ancestors to find, so we evolved to find them the most delicious, to ensure that we'd eat them when we did find them.

Fortunately for us, there are lots of resources about habit-forming and habit-breaking.

Now if only I could get off the internet and get to bed at a reasonable hour.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,312 Posts
Your brain is literally making shortcut neural connections that reinforce the bad habits. It's like how when people cut across a lawn enough times, they start to wear a path. Then they use the path more because it's easier, etc etc. The brain wants to go in those easier directions that have already been established.

On top of that, there's a reinforcing dopamine hit to the bad behaviour. Whatever food you're ordering that isn't as healthy as making your own meal is probably laden with fats, sugars and salts. Eating it is rewarding. Those are easy calories that were hard for our caveman ancestors to find, so we evolved to find them the most delicious, to ensure that we'd eat them when we did find them.

Fortunately for us, there are lots of resources about habit-forming and habit-breaking.

Now if only I could get off the internet and get to bed at a reasonable hour.
I saw what you did there giggle


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,624 Posts
Ok this is kind of dumb, but am I the only one who knows the solution to some of my problems but still can’t change?

For example, I frequently go without food for a really long time then when I get out of work I’m too hungry and tired to cook so I order food. Obviously the solution is to pre make food and bring to work, and pre make meals. But old habits die hard.

Whether it’s needing to lose weight, or exercising more, or being more romantic with your wife etc... do any of you know the solution to some of your problems but still can’t change?
For me, I start slow so I am not overwhelmed. I make the success something easy to start. This is how I lost weight. At first it was more about could I get myself to go 2 time, then 3 time then 5 times a week. Later it became counting calories and really losing weight.

Start by seeing if you can cook yourself a meal on Sunday for part of the rest of the week.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,364 Posts
I'd recommend the book "feeling great" by David Burns. Although, of course, as they say, it only works if you work it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,959 Posts
Start by seeing if you can cook yourself a meal on Sunday for part of the rest of the week.

That's a superb idea. Resolve, that you are going to cook on Sunday for Monday and Tuesday. Eat, on Monday and Tuesday, what you cooked on Sunday, nothing else.

On Wednesday, order food, give yourself a reward for good behavior on Monday and Tuesday.

BTW.....home-cooked food is the KEY to this. You can make good food, a lot better for your body that what you order from restaurants.

One further suggestion..... eat fruit.... it's "instant", no cooking required, and the reward is quick, and delicious.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,425 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
I always eat fruit. I actually love healthy food and vegetables. I’m just super tired and lazy and hungry after work that I feel the need to binge eat bad food. I’ll try the Sunday thing though!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,168 Posts
I'm currently experiencing this right now. I lost quite a bit of weight and then gained 12 back during quarantine (boredom eating and less active). I'm going to the beach in 6 weeks and KNOW I want this 12 gone before we go. I talk to myself about it in my head all the time. Know I should make better choices. Vow to make better choices. I know how to lose weight. I know that I normally enjoy healthier food and feel better when I eat it. I know that I have a hormone issue that makes it harder to lose weight and that my body doesn't process excess carbs like it should. Still went to Panda Express last night and got the biggest meal with fried stuff in it.
(n)(n)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
543 Posts
I always eat fruit. I actually love healthy food and vegetables. I’m just super tired and lazy and hungry after work that I feel the need to binge eat bad food. I’ll try the Sunday thing though!
I have a similar challenge at present. I'm working long hours and 7 days a week. Last night after I got home I was tempted to just order something or have a snack for dinner, but instead boiled up some vegetables and only had them.

I remind myself regularly that as I live alone and am self employed, it's in my best interests to eat healthy and not resort to eating alot of crap, otherwise it is a slow descent for consistent energy levels and I would find myself eating more sugary foods to 'prop' myself back up.

Simplicity is the key when you are tired. If you have something that only takes s few minutes, it helps the decision making process, and you don't have to worry about the guilt after!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,425 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
I work in the OR and I only work 8hrs. And I work hard in those hours, and honestly it doesn’t faze me because I can do anything for 8hrs. So I never drink or eat enough. Sometimes I skip lunch altogether because I only have 30mins and it’s strictly timed. And that’s 30 mins to buy lunch if I don’t bring it, drink, and have a bathroom break.

So the people who work longer hours prepare more or seems. They bring nuts and apples and yogurt and they smart throughout the day.

My problem is I work 0-100 in those 8hrs because I’m a hard working and I kind of rush rush, and the time flies by. Then when I get home it isn’t till THEN that I realize I’m exhausted, starving, and have a headache from lack of water. And there starts the habit, I do the bare minimum at home to rest up, and I order food.

Sometimes I can turn it around and eat throughout the day and come home and go to the gym and have energy, but it never sticks. My habit always comes back.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,425 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
And of course I know what the answer is. We all know what the answer is, it’s just sound it consistently.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
498 Posts
I surely know I should do a load of laundry a day but I don't. I procrastinate and end up doing 4 loads one day. I get grumpy because I don't like folding clothes...

I can swap with you. I can cook every day you do my laundry. What do you say??
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
543 Posts
I surely know I should do a load of laundry a day but I don't. I procrastinate and end up doing 4 loads one day. I get grumpy because I don't like folding clothes...

I can swap with you. I can cook every day you do my laundry. What do you say??
Just do what most guys do, wait till you're down to your last pair of underwear, THEN do a load!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,299 Posts
I work in the OR and I only work 8hrs. And I work hard in those hours, and honestly it doesn’t faze me because I can do anything for 8hrs. So I never drink or eat enough. Sometimes I skip lunch altogether because I only have 30mins and it’s strictly timed. And that’s 30 mins to buy lunch if I don’t bring it, drink, and have a bathroom break.

So the people who work longer hours prepare more or seems. They bring nuts and apples and yogurt and they smart throughout the day.

My problem is I work 0-100 in those 8hrs because I’m a hard working and I kind of rush rush, and the time flies by. Then when I get home it isn’t till THEN that I realize I’m exhausted, starving, and have a headache from lack of water. And there starts the habit, I do the bare minimum at home to rest up, and I order food.

Sometimes I can turn it around and eat throughout the day and come home and go to the gym and have energy, but it never sticks. My habit always comes back.
I come at everything with analysis and science. Spend a week analyzing your habits. Identify their weak spots. Create a solution to attack their weak spots. Starting small is a great idea.

You only have half an hour for lunch, so you skimp or skip it entirely, and then you're over-hungry and tired at the end of the day. Plan ahead, and make sure you have a healthy snack on hand in your bag that you can eat in only minutes. See if that improves your end-of-day fatigue. Copy those people with the nuts and fruit and yogurt.

Then attack your end of day habits. It looks like the pattern is that you order food because it's easier than cooking when you have no energy. So the solution above may help your end-of-day fatigue, but you can also attack the 'easier' part of the bad habit. Make preparing food easier. On your day off, do some meal planning and food prep. Get a bunch of stuff ready to just sauté when you get home. Or cook extra on the weekend and just reheat a plate of leftovers when you get home. That's even easier and faster than ordering. Or eat a quick snack when you get home, rest for a bit, and then see if you can tackle making a dinner a bit later.

Or attack the dehydration part of things first. That'll make anyone feel crummy. Don't change anything else, but put extra effort into drinking lots of water throughout the day and see what effect it has.
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top