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Discussion Starter #1
It sucks that one of the OM my exwife was dating while married to me, is now living in the marital home and spending as much time as I do with my kid. I'm beginning to notice how hes begun to play games to get on her good side, and feel EXTREMELY JEALOUS about it. Give me five minutes with him and a box cutter.
All this bullsh!t about Karma? Forget it, doesnt happen.

What a sorryasssed woman I ended up marrying.
What a fking blight on the face of all thats decent.

Sure enough I seem to fade from what was a family and am now the outsider. I feel more like a dentist someone has to visit once a year rather than where a kid would want to go..

I wonder how much of a draw, that the appearance of cohesion over there has for a kid.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
I think I would feel better if it were some guy that came after the divorce. The fact that he was part of ruining my family, and now gets to live there, makes me feel like something has been taken away from me, and all I could do was watch.
Helll, if it were just me, maybe it would be easier to deal with but, thats MY kid, and no punkasss has any right to assume a seat at my table, especially having gone about it the way it was.

Just feeling fking jaded today. GRAB SMASH THROW...
 

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Just gotta keep reminding myself how the marriage was, and the fact that I'd never want to get back with her smacks me straight in the face...
Jealous of what I wanted it to be, not of what it was...

That, and the time with my kid that was stolen from me, by a cheating wh0re.
 

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If they are cohabitating can you take her back to court and get your alimony redused now that she has a "increase in income"?

Talk to your lawyer and see if there are other thing that can be done.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
All I know is that he works construction, listening to the ex talk would make someone think he paid nothing at all. Which is par for the course re: her "love" of him...

I'm already paying a reduced CS as it is, because her income was well over 40% more than my own. If it werent for the 50/50 schedule the judge would have never signed off on it.

UGH... just one of those days where the "evil-doers" appear to have won by cheating, and Im sick of losing to cheaters and liars.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I tend to have a somewhat passive attitude about a lot of things.
I think it may have been what enabled my trying to stick it out for so long, thinking that "family" was a courageous endeavor, worthy of the bruise.

In my eyes, hes an enemy. He and that woman whose promises are empty over there, shouldnt get the blessing that is time with my kid. Some guy in a black robe knowing nothing about the last fifteen years of my life, decided it all for me.

I will never miss the complete lack of any respect from her. That snide-sounding voice that seems to carry with it an intrinsic contempt.
For so long being spoken to like a nine year old, counteracted in the most important of "Family" matters..
I dont miss that at all, and am sure he's not yet gotten his fair share. It takes awhile for her mask to come off, and the facade to be uncovered.
 

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Some guy in a black robe knowing nothing about the last fifteen years of my life, decided it all for me.
Divorce does suck.
But just think: woud you have wanted to be married to someone who didn't want to be married anymore? My bet is no. That judge released you. He did you a favor.
You will probably never get along with OM. And understandably so.
Just don't let him take up too much space in your head.

And have you gotten laid yet? :D



********************** | ***************************************** | ***************************************
 

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Shoo - sorry you're having to deal with this. It sucks, and it would eat me alive if I sat around thinking about it. Try to find things (interests/hobbies/friends) to fill your time.
 

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I am so damn sorry to hear this.I feel bad for you.
The OM in my case bragged to co-workers how he was going to get a nice house and a 2 1/2 car garage,a nice pick-up that I gave her.
He even told them when the deal is done he'd throw a party and invite them all over.
Over my dead f'ing body.
She did try to kick me out,actually did for a few days then I kicked her out.
OM is sleeping in his work truck and at the shop office and thats still too good for him.
Karma does happen,give it some time.
So sorry for you man.
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NopE! Ive been celibate for the last six years. The touch of my wife's hand, even the slightest resting of her palm against my lower back (she was shorter than I was) during grocery shopping seemed to carry with it a definition of continuing "care" for me....
(Amazing what we learn to subsist on, when its all there is)
She had issues physically and emotionally that didnt cater to an active sex life. I, however, figured it was part of the promise I gave to stay and eventually get worked out.

Ive watched a LOT of adult material throughout my life, and am not lacking freakiness,, it was just completely stifled with her.
I hope to experience some freedom in that area some day with the right woman.
I dont do a whole lot. $$$ is SOOOOO freaking slim these days, Im down to counting quarters for gas at times. It will be this way for awhile. It doesnt give a man a sense of dignity or establishment, when out and about scoping the babes. Hey, would you like to come over to my house, for a Stouffers Pot Pie? LOL...

One day....
 

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Lived on the pot pies and mac n cheese for years when I moved out at 16....good stuff.
Sucks man,they both will get theirs one day.
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Her lawyer said she would'nt get the house or kids.
Seven months into R and doing pretty good.
I hate reading your story,not right,not fair.
It just p!sses me off.
I wish you the best man.
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I hate that you're going through this. I will never know exactly how you feel as I'm getting the house. Stbx and posow will never live in the home I have raised my son. However, if and when they marry, there will be nothing I can do to legally stop her from playing weekend step-mom. That thought makes me want to vomit, scream, and hurt someone all at the same time. She will get to form a relationship with my son after stealing his father from him.
 

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Such hostility..... Shoo, C'mon you're better than this. The OM shouldn't even matter unless he's abusing your kids. He is only a tool for your wife to mask her low self-esteem and use as an emotional punching in your place.

Besides there's a sneakier way to handle this...... If you want that dirtbag to suffer and more time with your child you're going to have to treat the both of them as friendly as possible. Your basic 180 with a twist - you encourage that she's made the right decisions.

Remove yourself from being her excuse for the troubles they are/will go through, and while your at it go ahead and tell her what a good mom she is. Feed her ego the way the OM did she first started the affair and encourage her to stick it out with him.

Boom! You start making head way in a few months when she stops thrashing you (as hard) and bite your time until the OM does something to really screw up. So long as you're consistent, by which I mean not outwardly aggressive and blaming her (passive aggressively masterminding a way to make him cry - WORKS BETTER!!!!) you'll do fine.

"What's that? You had a fight over how to raise OUR kid? I'm sorry to hear that. Why is he acting like this?...... I can't believe that. I'm sure he'll make it up to you later on..... he seems like a sweetheart on the inside....... Give him a second chance". bwahahaha I'm going to dip my cookie in his tears.

In case your wondering, this works!
 

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Shoo, I feel for ya, man. Don't have any words of wisdom for you but you know by now you are not alone in this.

But, I do agree with what you said about karma. Honestly, I don't believe in it anymore and when people say anything of the sort it just about makes me want to puke. But, and I absolutely freakin' hate this phrase....It is what it is....

Nothing we can do about it short of taking a few nice swings with a baseball bat or some other destructive move but that sort of thing doesn't bode well for you, my friend. We would all love to have a few minutes with the OM/OW or even our Exes with a get out of jail free card but it's never going to happen so why even think about it.

As for the finances....At least we have jobs. My money situation is no better than yours but it would be a lot worst if I didn't have income right now.
 
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