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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My sister in law and her family (husband and child) will be moving in to our place. Potential problem? They also have dogs. They have always been welcome when they visit, which is just a few days at at time, but now that it could be short or long term, I can't bear the thought of the dogs living with us. One of them does not get along with our dog and has snipped at her a lot. We can clearly see she is not herself around him and this is her home. How do I address this?
 

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I think you probably need to be direct about it. Is there anywhere else their dogs can stay?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
They are moving in to relocate here. We aren't sure how long. I am hoping they will find a place to rent after a short time but if not, this could be up to a year in our little home. I know I need to be direct but I feel terrible since they have always been welcome when visiting. I know living 24/7 is different but I am struggling on how to bring it up. I don't think anyone else will take their dogs but it could be something I can suggest, at least until they find a place. The one dog has already done damage to our house, so I can't really just put them in a different room while we are away at work. They all have been alone before but I can tell my dog is not comfortable at all and I always feel on edge myself...afraid he will hurt my dog.
 

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I assume they are moving in with you due to some kind of hardship. If that's the case, sacrifices on their part need to be made.

"Sister-in-law, we are happy to help you and your family during your time of need, however we cannot accommodate your dogs. I'm sure you understand."

If they don't like it, well, they are welcome to seek alternative arrangements.
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
PhillyGuy13 - No hardship. They are just relocating to be closer to us....her family. She would already have a job secured and they have plenty of funds in savings, but the problem is that we live in a very small area so not too many rentals available and certainly not ones that will take 2 pitties. But you are right...no matter why they are coming, they will need to make some sacrifices as well.
 

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They are moving in to relocate here. We aren't sure how long. I am hoping they will find a place to rent after a short time but if not, this could be up to a year in our little home. I know I need to be direct but I feel terrible since they have always been welcome when visiting. I know living 24/7 is different but I am struggling on how to bring it up. I don't think anyone else will take their dogs but it could be something I can suggest, at least until they find a place. The one dog has already done damage to our house, so I can't really just put them in a different room while we are away at work. They all have been alone before but I can tell my dog is not comfortable at all and I always feel on edge myself...afraid he will hurt my dog.
It sounds like you've already given them the go ahead to move in, is that true? It's a little late to start putting conditions on it. You should have thought of this beforehand.

Introducing dogs should be a gradual process. The new dog shouldn't be allowed to run free in the environment of the established dog(s). Dogs are pack animals, they have to feel safe and part of the pack. There are some good articles and books on introducing a new dog to your established pack. Might be worth googling and reading up on it. Then establishing some rules before they arrive.
 

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I wonder if you could put an ad on your local Craig's list, or ask your vet for a referral where someone can foster the dogs for an extended period of time. If they have savings and a full time job they can afford it, I assume they are paying you no rent? Or significantly below market value rent?

In any event, the dogs have damaged your home when they visit and do not get along with your dog. What happens if there is significant damage? Who pays for it?

I agree with the above poster who says this should have been discussed ahead of time. That said, it's still your house. You can't just throw up your hands while the dogs destroy the house.

Good luck!!
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well, permission was never really given. I was implied by all of my spouses family (moms and dads). Basically since they were moving to this area and we are the only family, it was automatically assumed we would take them in if needed. So never a discussion about any of it, just implied. And bad me for not addressing it all at that point, so I agree with you all there...I should have addressed this all earlier but I am a bit of a peacemaker and don't like to cause waves. Not my best attribute for sure...LOL!

The dogs have been around each other on and off during visits for 3 years but again, it is a stressful situation and trust me when I say we have had several dogs in our lives but her one pittie is not friendly at all with other dogs. Bit my father in laws dog a while back and hurt him pretty good...a little one. My golden is a 135 pound big baby...very passive and the other dog knows it and attempt to dominate. We correct him or reprimand him when we see it but it is when we are not there that I worry the most.
 

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You need to bring this up NOW. like RIGHT now.

First of all, since things have been all assumed up to this point, start by calling a family meeting to formalize the arrangement. Do it virtually if need be. Purpose is to get everyone on the same page. First item on the agenda - where the dogs will be staying.

You also need to present a united front with your spouse.

Have a list of options ready to present - boarding houses, foster homes, other relatives. Do not make them picking one an option, make it a requirement. Do not end the meeting until an agreement has been reached.

Hard feelings will ensue - be ready for that.
 

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We have a 1 1/2 year old golden, super friendly, loveable and dumb. yields to every dog we meet, big or small.

His litter mate lives around the block and was attacked by a pit bull last year. It escaped from its yard and attacked the dog while tied up. No long term damage luckily except for the vet bills.

Anyway, tread lightly.
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If you have told them they can come, but when they arrive you are going to say: "Surprise! Your dogs can't stay!" well, then I think you have a potential problem which might be, to an extent, of your own making.
 

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Pit Bulls, hey? The American Pit Bull Terrier is an amazing dog breed. However, they do tend toward dog and small animal aggression as is common among terriers with strong prey drive. They are also generally smart and energetic, so need to be occupied or they will become bored and destructive. Not a breed for every household.

I DO NOT leave my Pit alone with my other dogs. Ever. She has snapped at the others a couple times and there was one all out fight once. Now, the dogs are not allowed together unless myself or my DH are in the room supervising. Otherwise, the dogs are crated and rotated or on separate floors closed off with a door that has a lock since my Pit is clever and can open every door in the house that isn't locked.

If it's an option, keep the Pits separated from your dog using a crate, baby gates, one dog in and the others outside, etc. If one can't be trusted in the house becuase s/he'll eat your stuff, then make sure your SIL crates that dog when she cannot supervise.

It's hard to find long term fosters for Pit Bulls and they have a terrible adoption rate if turned in to a shelter. If you guys can use crates and other separation and containment measures to keep the dogs with their family it would be amazing. So many end up homeless and in shelters because their people moved. It's sad.
 

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Do you have a yard? Could they install a dog run in your yard with a dog house for their dogs. They then can take the dogs for walks, etc. And the dogs are only allowed in your house under strict supervision.

Are there homes to buy in your area?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
You are all so right. I will be sitting down with the hubby tonight and we will be discussing all of it. We have to deal with it before it becomes reality and we have no choice. It is our home and we are opening it to his family to help and they all have to realize that just having the 2 additional adults and 2 year old move in is a lifestyle change enough as we don't have children and never have. It has always been the 2 of us and out 2 or 3 dogs. So, that will be a huge adjustment for us and our time and the added stress of the dogs is something we would like to avoid. I would rather has some hurt feeling and sore souls now then have a disaster in the end. I do think that providing some options for them is a great idea and might take the sting out a bit. Like I said, I love them all...even the dogs but our world will be being turned upside down for an unknown period of time and everyone needs to see the sacrifices we are making as well.

PhillyGuy13 - so sorry to hear about that pup...thank god no permanent damage and your pup and his litter mate can still play. Something like that is really my biggest fear.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
EleGirl - I have about a half acre lot and on a pretty steep hill. Really not much room to fence or put a run. And they have been known to escape their fencing at their current home, so not sure that would work. I thought about requiring they get put into the garage while we are away but they would probably have to be in a crate as well as there are things in there they could get into as well. We live in a very small area...mostly 2nd homes so not too much for sale in their price range. I am a realtor so I am on top of that but not sure they would even qualify for a loan without being at their jobs here for a certain amount of time. Banks have gotten so strict on that. There are some rentals I have found but again, with their 2 pit bulls, not sure they would even accept them.
 

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EleGirl - I have about a half acre lot and on a pretty steep hill. Really not much room to fence or put a run. And they have been known to escape their fencing at their current home, so not sure that would work. I thought about requiring they get put into the garage while we are away but they would probably have to be in a crate as well as there are things in there they could get into as well. We live in a very small area...mostly 2nd homes so not too much for sale in their price range. I am a realtor so I am on top of that but not sure they would even qualify for a loan without being at their jobs here for a certain amount of time. Banks have gotten so strict on that. There are some rentals I have found but again, with their 2 pit bulls, not sure they would even accept them.
To keep dogs from escaping a dog run, wire chicken wire to the top like a roof. I keep my dogs from digging put putting chicken wire on the ground, or in a trench near the fence and then covered,
 
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